13-02-2025
What makes the perfect love song? Boyz II Men have some thoughts
What makes the perfect love song? Boyz II Men have some thoughts
In USA TODAY's The Essentials, celebrities share what fuels their lives, whether it's at home, on the set or on the road.
NEW YORK — Romance isn't as difficult as you're making it. Just ask Boyz II Men.
The members of the '90s super group, known for earnest ballads like "End of the Road" and "I'll Make Love to You," think the recipe for a lasting love is simpler than it may appear.
"I tell guys that you don't have to do a whole lot if you do it when it's unexpected," Nathan Morris, one-third of the band, tells USA TODAY backstage before a concert on Long Island, sitting back to wax poetic and sneak in some food before showtime. "If you do it when everybody else does it, it just becomes a norm."
Morris is joined by Shawn Stockman and Wanya Morris, the remaining two-thirds, who are eager to spill on the best love songs, the trouble with dating apps and their long-term impact on masculinity.
When in doubt, opt for spontaneity
With Valentine's Day arriving, Nathan Morris says he doesn't love the prescriptiveness of the holiday.
"I don't want to be on anybody else's calendar," he says. "In my own relationship, in my own life, I want us to be on our own track. … Like on July 31st, every year we have a family gathering. It ain't got to be Memorial Day. I just want to create my own history for my own people."
It's a bigger commentary on how to keep love alive even as the years roll on.
"You have to do spontaneous stuff because human beings get bored by nature," Nathan says. "If you're not doing different things, it becomes mundane and it can have an effect on how you feel about somebody."
Stockman agrees. Maybe your partner mentions they love the Power Puff Girls, so you show up for the next date in a Power Puff Girls T-shirt, he says.
"He heard you. That's romantic," Stockman says, "It's just listening. Romance comes with conversation, listening to the person and finding out exactly what matters to them the most."
Don't be afraid for your love to take time
Both in love songs and love itself, be clear-eyed about the intention behind it all.
"Take your time," Wanya Morris says about finding a great love. "Find somebody that's as like-minded as possible. No one's ever going to think exactly alike. But if you're honest in the beginning, you give each other a chance to say I want it or I don't."
But don't be afraid if you scare someone off, he advises. It may be a blessing in disguise. "You want somebody to run," he says, "You want them to leave because they can't deal with how you are."
And as for the dating apps, Gen Z can keep those, the men say.
"Everything is just so quick that people just don't got the time and the patience for love − because love takes time and patience," Nathan Morris says. "There's so many more options for (young people) of other things to do, versus just standing and working on my love, because they always feel like they're one swipe away from somebody or something else."
Boyz II Men love songs to live by include Quincy Jones, James Ingram and New Edition
Architects themselves of some of the century's great love songs, the group has a soft spot for the ballads of their predecessors.
Wanya and Nathan Morris' favorite love song is "Find 100 Ways," a James Ingram and Quincy Jones collaboration "that's a love song for the ages," Wanya says.
Stockman says he prefers New Edition's "Can You Stand the Rain?" a song the group has begun performing at their live show. Back in the '90s, the men (then Boyz) were discovered by New Edition and Bell Biv DeVoe member Michael Bivins.
"It's practically one of the realest songs ever written," he says. "It basically is professing the idea of, 'If I go through something, will you be able to go through it with me?'"
Set the mood on Valentine's Day with 20 of the best love songs from this century
Men need love, too
The group returns throughout the interview to the same sentiment: "Boyz need love."
Valentine's Day has become packaged as a holiday only for women, they say, but where's the reciprocity? It should be about the couple.
"Romance is a two-way street," Wanya Morris says. The great project of their music has been about showcasing a tenderness and giving other men permission to do the same. There's a misconception that men don't want to be showered with affection, they say.
"We like flowers," Stockman jokes.
Make Valentine's Day about love of all kinds
The group is also not crazy about confining the holiday to just romantic love.
"Love is circumstantial," Wanya Morris says. "It's a beautiful gift that love doesn't always happen in a relationship, you know what I mean? It doesn't always have to be about relationships. Love songs don't have to be about relationships, (but) it could still be a love song."
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
