Latest news with #RegineGalanti
USA Today
24-05-2025
- General
- USA Today
The truth about people who grew up in families who never apologized
Leo Tolstoy said it best with the opening of "Anna Karenina." "Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." But what about families who never apologize? A therapist's recent TikTok, with 1.3 million views, asserted "people who grew up in families where no one apologized after disagreements and would just let time pass instead of resolving things, often become anxious adults who over-explain, over-communicate and feel uneasy until things are settled." This theory may not be true for everyone, mental health professionals say, but it's a potential consequence worth unpacking. "When families don't apologize, it often means that there's an environment of emotional invalidation, and ingrained beliefs about perfection," says Regine Galanti, a clinical psychologist. "Apologies are viewed as a negative thing because they admit that you might have made a mistake, which is uncomfortable for most people. When you take apologies off the table, though, you teach family members that it's not OK to acknowledge mistakes, which often makes people think that it's not OK to make mistakes." 'Relationships go through a cycle of rupture and repair' Maybe your parents argued over someone forgetting an anniversary. Or your siblings squabbled about whose turn it was to empty the dishwasher. Whatever the case, arguments silly and serious affect families of all kinds. But "growing up in a home where no one ever apologizes may take an emotional toll," says Amy Morin, psychotherapist, author of " 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do" and the host of a podcast. This will look different for different families. But "when people minimize, dismiss or deny someone's experience, they inevitably create feelings of hurt, anger and a sense of invisibility in others," says Cecille Ahrens, a licensed clinical social worker. "People will then cope with these emotions in all sorts of ways, depending on how conflict was modeled to them, their personal histories, their temperament to name a few factors. These experiences often create insecure and anxious attachment styles which then impact all of their future relationships until they get the support they deserve." So, if your home included atypical communication patterns, expect it to potentially affect how you apologize (or don't) as an adult. "Often, relationships go through a cycle of rupture and repair," Morin says. "That means, speaking up for yourself or creating a boundary to rupture the status quo that isn't working. Then, as part of the repair, apologies are often necessary." No apology, little opportunity for repair. Never apologizing may even lead to mental health issues. "If you've internalized the belief that your emotions aren't important, or that mistakes are signs of weakness or that conflict is to be avoided at all cost, those are unhealthy thinking patterns that can keep you trapped in anxiety or depression," Galanti says. 'Heal from the trauma of being ignored' You should look inward and consider whether you grew up in a family who never apologized, and how that affects your life today. Seek support from people you trust, Ahrens says. Therapy, in turn, can help you untangle the past to better connect to your present and future and prioritize healthy communication. And you should consider avoiding triggers as you can, including spending time with certain family members that hurt you. Or at least have a self-care plan in place, like taking deep breaths or stepping away from a conversation if it spirals into a hurricane-level storm. Overall, focus on your own feelings and seek support as you need, especially if feelings grow untenable and, as Ahrens says, "are having a significant impact on your functioning and quality of life."
Time of India
24-05-2025
- General
- Time of India
Why saying ‘sorry' could be the healthiest thing you do for your family and yourself?
Have you ever found yourself over-explaining in arguments , feeling anxious until a disagreement is fully resolved, or desperately needing closure—even in the smallest of conflicts? If so, your childhood might hold the answers. Particularly, whether you heard the word 'sorry' in your household growing up. A viral TikTok by a therapist, now with over 1.3 million views, has sparked fresh conversation on the quiet damage caused by families who never apologize. The post claimed that adults who were raised in homes where no one ever said sorry tend to grow up into people who over-communicate, overthink, and remain emotionally unsettled after disagreements. While it may not be a universal truth, mental health experts agree: the absence of apologies in family dynamics can leave long-lasting emotional scars. The Silent Cost of Never Saying Sorry A report from USA Today noted that in homes where apologies are rare or non-existent, the message children often internalize is that making mistakes, or worse, admitting them, is not acceptable. 'When families don't apologize, it often means there's an environment of emotional invalidation and ingrained beliefs about perfection,' explains Dr. Regine Galanti, a clinical psychologist. Over time, this can morph into deep-seated anxiety and self-doubt, where individuals begin to fear vulnerability and conflict alike. Play Video Pause Skip Backward Skip Forward Unmute Current Time 0:00 / Duration 0:00 Loaded : 0% 0:00 Stream Type LIVE Seek to live, currently behind live LIVE Remaining Time - 0:00 1x Playback Rate Chapters Chapters Descriptions descriptions off , selected Captions captions settings , opens captions settings dialog captions off , selected Audio Track default , selected Picture-in-Picture Fullscreen This is a modal window. Beginning of dialog window. Escape will cancel and close the window. Text Color White Black Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Opacity Opaque Semi-Transparent Text Background Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Opacity Opaque Semi-Transparent Transparent Caption Area Background Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Opacity Transparent Semi-Transparent Opaque Font Size 50% 75% 100% 125% 150% 175% 200% 300% 400% Text Edge Style None Raised Depressed Uniform Drop shadow Font Family Proportional Sans-Serif Monospace Sans-Serif Proportional Serif Monospace Serif Casual Script Small Caps Reset restore all settings to the default values Done Close Modal Dialog End of dialog window. Clinical social worker Cecille Ahrens elaborates, saying that emotional neglect—like being dismissed or ignored after a conflict—can lead people to develop anxious or insecure attachment styles. These attachment issues may linger into adulthood, shaping how individuals engage in relationships, set boundaries, or deal with confrontation. Simply put, never hearing 'I'm sorry' as a child may leave a person unable to trust that emotional repair is possible. The Rupture and Repair Model In healthy relationships, conflict is inevitable. But equally important is the act of repair. 'Relationships go through a cycle of rupture and repair,' says psychotherapist Amy Morin, author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do . 'Apologies are a critical part of the repair process.' When conflict goes unresolved—when no one apologizes—it deprives people of the chance to heal, to feel seen, and to move forward. You Might Also Like: Why is it always the 'Orange Cat'? Scientists uncover the genetic secret that could prove they are freaks of nature Without that healing, unresolved feelings can fester. Galanti warns that internalizing the belief that mistakes must be hidden or that emotions are unimportant can increase one's risk for anxiety or depression. These emotional patterns can stay buried for years, only surfacing in the form of persistent self-blame, difficulty in relationships, or even a fear of close emotional connection. Healing Starts With Awareness The first step toward healing is recognizing the pattern. If you grew up in a family where apologies were taboo, it's crucial to understand how that experience still influences your emotional landscape today. Seeking therapy can be an effective way to untangle these knots of the past and replace them with healthier communication habits. Mental health professionals also suggest developing self-care strategies when interacting with emotionally challenging family members. This could mean stepping away from triggering conversations, leaning on trusted friends, or simply taking a few deep breaths to re-center yourself. iStock The first step toward healing is recognizing the pattern. If you grew up in a family where apologies were taboo, it's crucial to understand how that experience still influences your emotional landscape today. The Power of a Simple Apology At its core, the word 'sorry' is about more than guilt—it's about connection, humility, and healing. Apologizing doesn't make us weak; it makes us human. And in families, especially, where the roots of love and conflict run deep, the act of acknowledging a mistake can be the first step toward rebuilding trust. You Might Also Like: Harvard expert reveals the secret superfood you're probably ignoring that could protect your heart So the next time you're tempted to let a disagreement fade into silence, ask yourself: what would it mean to say sorry? It might just be the healthiest thing you can do—for yourself and for the people you love. You Might Also Like: What is your favourite colour? Does it really matter, psychologist reveals
Yahoo
24-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
The truth about people who grew up in families who never apologized
Leo Tolstoy said it best with the opening of "Anna Karenina." "Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." But what about families who never apologize? A therapist's recent TikTok, with 1.3 million views, asserted "people who grew up in families where no one apologized after disagreements and would just let time pass instead of resolving things, often become anxious adults who over-explain, over-communicate and feel uneasy until things are settled." This theory may not be true for everyone, mental health professionals say, but it's a potential consequence worth unpacking. "When families don't apologize, it often means that there's an environment of emotional invalidation, and ingrained beliefs about perfection," says Regine Galanti, a clinical psychologist. "Apologies are viewed as a negative thing because they admit that you might have made a mistake, which is uncomfortable for most people. When you take apologies off the table, though, you teach family members that it's not OK to acknowledge mistakes, which often makes people think that it's not OK to make mistakes." Maybe your parents argued over someone forgetting an anniversary. Or your siblings squabbled about whose turn it was to empty the dishwasher. Whatever the case, arguments silly and serious affect families of all kinds. But "growing up in a home where no one ever apologizes may take an emotional toll," says Amy Morin, psychotherapist, author of "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do" and the host of a podcast. This will look different for different families. But "when people minimize, dismiss or deny someone's experience, they inevitably create feelings of hurt, anger and a sense of invisibility in others," says Cecille Ahrens, a licensed clinical social worker. "People will then cope with these emotions in all sorts of ways, depending on how conflict was modeled to them, their personal histories, their temperament to name a few factors. These experiences often create insecure and anxious attachment styles which then impact all of their future relationships until they get the support they deserve." So, if your home included atypical communication patterns, expect it to potentially affect how you apologize (or don't) as an adult. "Often, relationships go through a cycle of rupture and repair," Morin says. "That means, speaking up for yourself or creating a boundary to rupture the status quo that isn't working. Then, as part of the repair, apologies are often necessary." No apology, little opportunity for repair. Never apologizing may even lead to mental health issues. "If you've internalized the belief that your emotions aren't important, or that mistakes are signs of weakness or that conflict is to be avoided at all cost, those are unhealthy thinking patterns that can keep you trapped in anxiety or depression," Galanti says. You should look inward and consider whether you grew up in a family who never apologized, and how that affects your life today. Seek support from people you trust, Ahrens says. Therapy, in turn, can help you untangle the past to better connect to your present and future and prioritize healthy communication. And you should consider avoiding triggers as you can, including spending time with certain family members that hurt you. Or at least have a self-care plan in place, like taking deep breaths or stepping away from a conversation if it spirals into a hurricane-level storm. Overall, focus on your own feelings and seek support as you need, especially if feelings grow untenable and, as Ahrens says, "are having a significant impact on your functioning and quality of life." This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Relationship issues: What happens when families never apologize
