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Superyachts and apocalypse insurance: the secret lives of the ultra-rich
If you enjoyed the mucho-money gaudiness and 'let them eat wedding cake' drama that was Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez's wedding in Venice, this is the book for you. It is a field guide to the super-rich. You already knew they were different from you and me — but you had no idea quite how different.
Evan Osnos, a writer for The New Yorker, gained access to the world of the 0.00001 per cent and reports on their thinking and behaviour, their manners and delusions. Sure, it's not the toughest beat but a hoot to chronicle — and even more fun to read.
The most extreme behaviour of the inhabitants of Richistan happens on superyachts, such as Bezos's $500 million Koru, because, as one owner tells Osnos, 'the boat is the last vestige of what real wealth can do'. What he means is: 'You have a chef and I have a chef. You have a driver and I have a driver. You can fly privately and I fly privately. So the one place where I can make clear to the world that I am in a different f***ing category than you is the boat.'
Yachts symbolise waste and unbridled excess, which makes them the ultimate status symbol. 'Need' a bar stool upholstered in whale foreskin? No problem. Fresh hookers every day? One yacht owner paid a 'madam' more than half a million pounds a year. Separate on-board wardrobes for the wife and for the mistress — and a code word to reveal which will be visiting so the captain and crew know which dresses should be hung in the closets? All in a day's work at sea.
Osnos exposes the private vocabulary the super-rich use. WROL stands for 'without rule of law'. This is mainly used when expressing fear that ordinary mortals will rise up against them, forcing them to flee to their luxury apartment complex in a converted missile silo in New Zealand. Half of the Silicon Valley elite has 'apocalypse insurance', Osnos reports. Capital — your fortune — is 'the corpus' and 'wealth defence managers' will exploit tax loopholes to ensure it does not suffer 'attrition'. Climate change is 'an externality', as is social and economic inequality, and 'you cannot think about the externalities. You have to think about the profit.' Oh, and if you are a Getty, your private jet is nicknamed 'the Jetty'.
Osnos also reveals the subtle social codes of the super-rich and their — awks! — less wealthy friends. Those who do not have yachts but are invited on board 'are wise to remember your part of the bargain. If you work with movie stars, bring fresh gossip. If you're on Wall Street, bring an insight or two. Don't make the transaction obvious, but don't forget why you're there.'
There is plenty of serious analysis amid the tales of the rich behaving badly. Osnos 'started reporting in earnest about wealth and class in 2016' when he sensed that to grasp the change that Donald Trump's election represented — 'to understand why a voter could revile 'the elite' and revere the billionaire scion of a New York real-estate fortune — we had to look beyond politics.'
Osnos points out how the business and finance leaders, notably Elon Musk, have become almost as powerful and revered as presidents and often more popular. Many Americans now see no distinction or conflict between money and political power. To them — and to Trump more than anyone — they are two sides of the same coin. Who surrounded Trump at his inauguration? All the Silicon Valley tech bros. Musk, who did more than most to get him elected — he spent more than $200 million — was rewarded with a job in the White House. (Readers will note, however, that Musk's government gig did not end well and sent Tesla's sales and share price into a tailspin.)
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The writing is better than the usual field guide. Osnos describes the hedge fund-dominated enclave of Greenwich, Connecticut, as 'one of the wealthiest places in America, where the forces of capital and politics jockey amiably, like retirees in line at an omelette station'. It's often funny. He reports how the collapse of the Soviet Union minted a generation of new billionaires, whose approach to money inspired a popular joke. 'One oligarch brags to another, 'Look at this new tie. It cost me two hundred bucks!' To which the other replies, 'You moron. You could've bought the same one for a thousand!'' The only irritation is the number of stories and interviews that are anonymous — but that goes with the gilded territory.
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Osnos begins the book by quoting his frugal grandmother: 'All you need are a few fine things.' But after a few weeks in Richistan even he admits it is amazing what you can get used to. When he arrives in Monaco he is put up in a members-only club for visiting yachties. Inside his aromatic, whisper-quiet cabin, designed by Norman Foster to offer sweeping views over the Mediterranean to evoke the indulgence of the Queen Mary, 'I quickly came to understand I would never be fully satisfied anywhere else again,' he notes. The next morning he stares down at a man on a 'mid-tier' yacht in the marina, and feels a new sensation — 'the unmistakable pang of superiority'.
The Haves and Have-Yachts: Dispatches on the Ultrarich by Evan Osnos (Simon & Schuster £22 pp304). To order a copy go to Free UK standard P&P on orders over £25. Special discount available for Times+ members
