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Daily Mail
4 days ago
- Health
- Daily Mail
TV presenter AMANDA BYRAM, after years of failed IVF, says: ‘I refuse to be shamed by online trolls for having a baby at 51'
In January this year, after 30 hours of sucking in Royal Sussex County Hospital's finest gas and air, at 51 I finally had the family I'd dreamt of. My second son, Jett, was a month premature, but he felt years overdue. When I first embarked on IVF over a decade ago, I never imagined it would take this long. I started freezing my eggs at 40, met my husband-to-be, Julian, when I was 41 and he was 34, and got married a year later. It wasn't until a few months after my 49th birthday that our first son, Phoenix, arrived. The emotional, physical and financial toll of my fertility journey had been immense, but ultimately worth it. Prematurity aside, my second pregnancy was almost identical to when I carried my first son: healthy, mercifully uneventful and on a strict need-to-know basis. Even though I'm a TV presenter, and am used to living in the public eye, we decided to keep the pregnancies a secret from everyone except closest family. I carried neatly both times, and loose clothing concealed my growing bump. Why the secrecy? After 25 years on shows including Total Wipeout and The Big Breakfast, perhaps I'd learnt to keep certain things private. Following many heartbreaking miscarriages and failed implant attempts, it was easier to try again without too many people knowing. And I wasn't ready for the raised eyebrows on the subject of whether I could, or should, have a baby at my age. Now that Jett had arrived safely, Julian and I were ready to share the news. I had my Instagram post ready, with a photo and words written from the heart. But as my finger hovered over the publish button, I hesitated. My mind drifted back three years to when I announced the birth of Phoenix. I was giddy with excitement at sharing the news and, at first, our joy was amplified by the sheer volume of love we received. Thousands of messages of congratulations from friends and strangers flooded my Instagram feed – most wonderful of all, hundreds of women telling me I was a source of inspiration as they navigated IVF. Of course there was a vocal minority who felt the need to be negative about my age, but they were easy to ignore. Then, during a 3am feed, I ventured beyond my social media channels into the comment sections of news articles covering the story. That's when I saw them. Row after row of cruel words that took my breath away. Strangers dissecting my life, my choices, my body, my future. They calculated my age and concluded my son was destined for misery… 'There's no way she gave birth to this child!' 'It is selfish to have a child at 49.' 'She'll be mistaken for the child's gran when it reaches school age.' 'Her toyboy should do the school run.' 'Fast-forward 20 years: a young man on the cusp of adulthood with two dead parents. I'm sorry but that's just a fact.' I was so angry at the flippancy of the comments. People assumed I had chosen to delay motherhood for my career. The truth? It took me 41 years to meet someone I truly wanted to build a life with. I had been engaged in my late 30s but called off the wedding at the last minute –knowing deep down it wasn't right, even though it might cost me the family I always wanted. When I met Julian, a producer, on a photoshoot in London in 2014, we started dating, married in 2016 and began trying for a baby. And trying. And trying. Having already frozen some eggs I was aware of the diminishing chances, so we moved to IVF pretty quickly. The retrieval cycles dictated our schedule and became woven into our lives, from injecting myself moments before stepping out on live television, to forcing a smile for the cameras hours after a miscarriage. After every loss we picked ourselves up and kept going. The most hurtful online comments were from other women, many of them mothers. Suddenly, afraid of judgment, I began to doubt whether I should share my age with others I met at playgroups and parks. Over time the paranoia faded, and the more mums I met the clearer it became: there is no perfect blueprint for parenthood and life doesn't come with guarantees. We all know people who lost incredible parents too soon, just as we know people who had long-living but toxic parents. Along the way, I met older mums, teenage mums, working mums, stay-at-home mums, mums to children with special needs. I met women who had chosen to go it alone with a sperm donor, others juggling toddlers and teenage stepkids. I met refugees who had fled war zones with their babies in their arms. At the heart of it we were all the same – we found motherhood as tough as it was beautiful, and none of us were thinking much beyond the next bedtime. When Phoenix was two, we decided to try for a second baby. We consulted our families and doctors. The response: a resounding 'go for it'. There were more IVF disappointments along the way, but then Jett arrived. Once I posted the news, the mortality mathematicians, as expected, had a field day yet again, with comments like, 'How selfish – that poor child is going to grow up with parents older than most grandparents when it starts school and will be mocked for having old parents.' The outrage didn't sting this time, though. I refuse to waste time worrying about what other people think, and even less worrying about what might happen 20 or 30 years from now. Instead, I prefer to focus on the positives of having children later in life. The biggest plus is, ironically, my age itself. Finally I have maturity and wisdom – and these outstrip any traits I possessed in my younger years. So, yes, I may be a silver-haired lady when I collect my kids from primary school, but I'll be proud of every single strand. I do my bit by exercising regularly and not smoking, drinking, stressing or eating junk food. There's even evidence that women who give birth after 40 are more likely to live longer, often reaching their 100s! Maybe a purposeful existence keeps us older mums ticking along. I might be here for decades to come or I might not. That's just how life works. What I can control is the love I give and the lessons I pass down. Day and night I hold my children close and remind them they are loved unconditionally. I hope to teach them to embrace life with an open heart, free from judgment and guided by compassion. Online trolls will always feel safe behind their screens. Maybe writing these words opens me up to further scrutiny, but if we don't speak up, how can we expect change? The keyboard critics will win, while society will continue to question and condemn the women who – for one reason or a million others – left it late to start a family. So, let them talk. I'm too busy being a mother.
BBC News
15-05-2025
- Politics
- BBC News
Five takeaways from Brighton & Hove City Council leader in hotseat
Brighton & Hove City Council leader Bella Sankey has been in the hotseat on BBC Radio being elected in December 2022, Ms Sankey took on the leadership of the council just six months later after Labour won control in a historic victory. She has a background as a lawyer and human rights campaigner, including working to criminalise modern day slavery and support asylum a wide-ranging interview, she spoke about her pride that her father helped to build the maternity unit at the Royal Sussex County Hospital and that she and her two children had all been born there. Here are five takeaways from what she had to say… 1. Bin collections Council figures show a 140% rise in missed bin collection in the city in the past six 2023, an independent report found a toxic culture mired in racism, sexism, homophobia and threatening behaviour at Brighton and Hove's Cityclean waste service provider, including an alleged death Sankey said while there had been "massive improvements" in service reliability, she apologised for recent said toxic behaviours had prevented adequate investment in bin lorries, and while other services around the country had moved to digital services, Brighton and Hove was still operating a paper system."There are still some incredibly bad behaviours, criminal behaviours, being undertaken by a very small group of individuals. It's absolutely despicable," she said."We are working with the police. We will not be held to ransom anymore in the city."Weekly collections of food waste, which make up a third of household waste, are to start in the city in the autumn. 2. Housing conditions Social housing in the city has been criticised for serious failings in fire safety and a huge backlog of 10 blocks of flats, fire chiefs have insisted on a 24-hour 'walking watch' to keep residents Sankey admitted it was "unacceptable" that the city's housing stock had got into such a poor state, but that historic tower blocks built in the 1950s and 1960s were posing a challenge to meet current said the council was "absolutely committed to being the best possible social housing landlord we can be" and was investing millions in remediation work and considering complete redevelopment and refurbishment in some said: "There's a whole series of measure now that we are undertaking to ensure that we improve safety, that we get on top of repairs."When things go this badly wrong, I think it's really important to get to the root cause of why it's gone wrong and ensure that it can't happen again in the future." 3. The i360 deal After Brighton's i360 viewing tower went into administration, the council agreed to write off £51m of debt to facilitate the attraction being sold to hospitality company Nightcap for £150, Sankey said it was "the best thing to do in a really difficult set of circumstances", because the attraction was "destined to fail" under the old model."Business rates can now come back to the council, ensuring people are going to that area of the seafront for the other traders there and the poor staff that lost their jobs when the i360 went bust, many of them have now been reemployed."She said the council had not granted a 75% discount in business rates requested by the new owners and had negotiated a 1% share of revenue from ticket sales to be shared with the council. 4. Royal Albion Hotel demolition costs Since a fire destroyed the 200-year-old Royal Albion Hotel on Brighton seafront in July 2023, the council has spent £1.2m on safety and demolition work at the Sankey said because the council had "ultimate responsibility" for the safety of residents, it needed to "come in almost like an emergency service" to ensure the building was made owners, Britannia Hotels, have so far paid back £500,000 to the Sankey said: "You invoice in stages. We've invoiced for the first bit, we will then invoice for the rest and we will get that money back."She said court proceedings were not being considered. 5. 'I won't be mayor' Ms Sankey said plans for devolution, including elected mayor and a complete reorganisation of local councils, would see "central government giving more power and money to regions".Asked whether devolution would suit Sussex with its mix of a city, towns and villages in rural and coastal areas, she said Greater Manchester – a city surrounded by towns that has had a mayor since 2015 – was "not dissimilar".She proposed creating five new unitary authorities, each serving 300,000 to 500,000 people, which goes against the government recommendation of populations of at least half a said: "We run a unitary authority, we provide 700 services. I think there is an optimum amount of people to provide those services to, so you make sure that you're doing a good job."Having unitary authorities that are quite tied to place and communities, coastal authorities and more rural ones, I think will allow the different identities we have in Sussex to be expressed."Asked if she would be standing for election as the first mayor of Sussex, she said: "That's not something that I am going for or interested in."I'm delivery for our city and I'm going to carry on doing that."
BBC News
07-05-2025
- Health
- BBC News
New cancer centre approved at Royal Sussex Hospital
New cancer centre approved at Brighton hospital Just now Share Save Emily Coady-Stemp BBC News, South East Share Save Royal Sussex County Hospital The development at the Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton was given the green light A new five-storey cancer centre to serve patients in Sussex has been given the green light. Planning permission was granted for the development at the Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton on Wednesday. The University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust said the centre would "significantly expand existing services for the growing number of people affected by cancer in Sussex". Dr Sarah Westwell, consultant clinical oncologist and chief of cancer services at the trust, said it was "truly momentous news" for patients, their families, and staff. She said: "With the sobering statistic that one in two people are now expected to face a cancer diagnosis in our lifetime, this development is essential to enable us to deliver excellent care every time for the growing numbers of patients requiring our care. "Our new Sussex Cancer Centre will expand current capacity for cancer care three-fold, reduce waiting times for patients and provide a more compassionate, healing, and research-driven environment for all those affected by cancer." 'Optimising treatment delivery' Original plans were approved in March 2012, but the latest scheme has almost 300 fewer parking spaces than were previously proposed. The centre includes more inpatient beds, all in single en-suite rooms, and a dedicated acute cancer assessment unit, meaning many cancer patients will be able to be cared for as outpatients rather than attending the main A&E department, according to the trust. Dr Anna Olsson-Brown, consultant medical oncologist and clinical director of clinical cancer care, said the design of the centre was "crucial" in not just treating cancer but "supporting the whole person". "We've focused on creating spaces filled with natural light, with views of the sea and green areas, and with access to peaceful gardens and terraces whilst optimising the delivery of treatment," she said. "These elements aren't luxuries; they're fundamental to the healing process. "They reduce stress, promote a sense of calm, and empower patients to feel more in control." Following approval of a full business case, the trust says construction is expected to begin in 2026, with the new centre scheduled to open for patients in 2029. Follow BBC Sussex on Facebook, on X, and on Instagram. Send your story ideas to southeasttoday@ or WhatsApp us on 08081 002250.
Daily Mail
23-04-2025
- Sport
- Daily Mail
Trainer reveals brutal reality of horse racing with health update following sickening fall
A trainer has revealed the brutal reality of horse racing as they have issued a health update on a jockey who suffered a heavy fall. Nico De Boinville was kicked in the back after falling off As The Fella Says in the novice handicap hurdle on the Sussex Champion Chase card on Monday. While he was conscious after the incident, he was taken by ambulance to Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton, where he spent the night under observation. Although he was able to return home on Tuesday, De Boinville is expected to spend a period on the sidelines after sustaining a number of injuries in the heavy fall. Trainer Nicky Henderson said that he unlikely to return to action within the next two weeks at the earliest. This leaves Henderson needing to find jockeys for Jonbon in Saturday's bet365 Celebration Chase and Constitution Hill in the Punchestown Boodles Champion Hurdle, which takes place on Friday May 2. He will therefore also need to find replacements for other runners at Sandown and Punchestown. Speaking to the Racing Post, Henderson said: 'He's at home now and Sam Twiston-Davies has been minding him and brought him back, so he's back with his family which is the most important thing. 'He's got some broken ribs and his neck has taken a bit of a bash so he's having to sit pretty still. 'It was a nasty fall and thankfully As The Fella Says is okay, but our jockey is not, although hopefully he'll be perfectly all right in the long term.' However, the trainer was mindful of not rushing him back into action and emphasised the importance of the need for De Boinville to recover. He added: 'We're trying to sort things out, we've got Punchestown to sort out as well, but he definitely won't be riding this weekend or next week. 'After next week it doesn't matter anyway, but the main thing is that he's back and fighting fit for the restart. As long as he's fighting fit that's all that matters. 'Jonbon is ticking over and he's in very good order. Constitution Hill is going to have his gallop on Thursday or Friday, but it's important that Nico is home.'
