15-03-2025
Sleep deprivation is putting parents and their mental health at risk: 'There were nights where I was awake from midnight until 6 a.m.'
Fiorina Arcuri MacAskill anticipated waking up multiple times throughout the night with a newborn. But after giving birth to baby Liam in February 2022, it was obvious that he was having trouble sleeping through the night — and so was MacAskill.
'Pretty much the day he came out of me, I'd say that's when the sleep deprivation started,' MacAskill told Yahoo Canada.
MacAskill, now 39, was suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety, much of which stemmed from sleep-related concerns. 'I was terrified something was going to happen to him while I slept,' she said. 'There were nights, especially in the very beginning, where I would stay awake watching him to make sure he was breathing....I had a very hard time sleeping.
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MacAskill said Liam was a 'FOMO baby,' a term used to describe a baby who has trouble sleeping because they have a fear of missing out on all the exciting things happening around them. While some infants adapt to a sleeping schedule as they age, MacAskill said it was getting harder and harder to put Liam down to sleep when he was six months old.
'I was up all night with him, trying to resettle him getting back down,' she said. 'There were nights where I was awake from midnight until 6 a.m., pretty much constantly.'
MacAskill — and Liam — struggled to get a good night's sleep for at least a year, and her experience is not uncommon. A recent Snuz survey found 70 per cent of parents surveyed lost an average of three hours of sleep each night in the baby's first year. Added together, that's 133 nights worth of sleep lost before the baby's first birthday.
The lack of sleep took a toll on MacAskill's mental and physical health. She cried for hours, which triggered depression that felt like a weight on her chest and shoulders. 'My eyes constantly felt heavy,' she said. 'I didn't have energy to do anything.' Even getting dressed was a challenge some days.
We all know a good night's sleep is essential to recharging our minds and bodies. Sleep can help us regulate our emotions, improve our immune systems, and promote cell restoration and repair. This Sleep Awareness Week — March 9-15, 2025 — it's important to take stock of your sleep situation and find ways to improve your sleep health. From sleep trackers and mattresses to the best pillows for neck pain, Yahoo Canada is here with tips to get your best-ever shut-eye.
Luckily, when Liam was around 13 months old, MacAskill found a new sleep program that focused on redistributing his sleep schedule throughout the day. Liam just turned three last month, and both mom and baby are getting more sleep. 'He's sleeping better and deeper throughout the night,' she said. 'Once he's in bed and asleep, I go to bed as well. Now I'm getting several hours in a row.'
Still, MacAskill's experience with sleep deprivation as a first-time mom is one of the factors MacAskill and her husband are weighing as they decide whether to have another child. 'It's definitely been a rollercoaster,' she said. 'I tell myself I will sleep someday.'
Yahoo Canada spoke to a sleep coach to get insight into sleep deprivation among parents and what steps can be taken to combat it. Here's what you need to know.
According to Canadian 24-Hour Movement Guidelines, Canadian adults aged 18 to 64 should get seven to nine hours of good quality sleep on a regular basis. While three-quarters of adults meet this recommendation, new parents commonly experience lack of sleep, especially in the early months.
Parenting on little to no sleep is no joke: it can impact your mood, energy and general ability to function. According to Henry Ford Health, sleep deprivation can lead to low mood, difficult coping with everyday problems, and an increased risk of postpartum depression.
While seven to nine hours of sleep are recommended for positive health and well-being, parents can survive on less — for a time. 'Adults can survive temporarily on four or five hours of sleep,' said psychologist and certified sleep coach Macall Gordon. Gordon speaks to lots of parents who are experiencing parental burnout due to lack of sleep.
Gordon recommends parents find ways to get a solid block of sleep each night, even if it means parents sleeping in shifts. 'It's not going to serve people to be in burnout,' she said. 'So split up the night. Have one parent go into another room, put in earplugs, and get five hours of sleep.'
'Really dedicate yourself to that small chunk of sleep so you can think clearly the next day and also stave off any kind of mood disruptions,' she said.
If there's a support system of friends or family available, they can help tired parents carve out time to relax by babysitting. They an also offer to help with other tasks, like meal prep or laundry that can be an added burden for already exhausted parents. Depending on resources, a night nurse or postpartum doula can also ensure that you getting a chance to recharge without worrying about having to wake up multiple times a night.
Gordon also wants new parents to know that some babies are harder than others. Her new book, Why Won't You Sleep?!, explores how some parents struggle with 'livewire' children. 'These babies come into the world just more 'on.' They burn brighter, they're more alert and intense,' she said adding that these babies are often described as fussy, colicky, or they cry more easily and more intensely.
'These parents are feeling a little crazy, because none of the parenting information is talking about them,' she said. 'They're just way more exhausted, because these kids are hard.'
With this in mind, Gordon suggests tackling the child's sleep schedule first. 'Once we get children sleeping, parents automatically are going to be sleeping,' she said.
Other sleep experts suggest parents avoid caffeinated beverages, like coffee, tea and pop, and avoid screen time before bed.
However, if the child is finally sleeping well and the parent is still unable to get some shut-eye, Gordon says it may be time to seek guidance from a professional. 'If it continues and you're still not sleeping, even though the baby is sleeping, that may be something to pay attention to,' Gordon said. 'Because it can be an indication of postpartum anxiety or something that needs to be checked out.'
