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Yahoo
04-05-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
'Well, at least they ain't yellin' '
'What flavor is the Kool-Aid today?' Albino Alice the barber asked when Possum walked into Axe's True Blue American Café & Barber Shoppe in downtown Blue Ruin. 'What you talkin' 'bout?' he asked. 'The Kool-Aid Trump's got y'all drinkin' these days,' she said. 'Ain't no dang Kool-Aid,' Possum said. 'He's the greatest president this country ever saw. And we're standin' with him.' 'Is America great again yet?' she asked. 'We're gettin' there,' he said. 'I see where you gonna pay women $5,000 to have babies,' Alice said. 'Is that the same $5,000 Musk is givin' everbody or in addition to?' 'In addition to, I reckon,' Possum said. 'Why you actin' so snotty today?' 'It costs a quarter million dollars to raise a kid these days,' Alice said. 'The only people gonna fall for that is women that desperately needs $5,000. And then, they gonna need guvmint support to raise the kid.' 'We need more babies to get jobs and take care of old people,' Possum said. 'Then stop cuttin' guvmint programs that help them,' Alice said. Axe poured a cup of coffee for Bubba and one for himself before he sat down on a stool at the counter. 'I wish it was colder today,' he sighed. 'Then, the furnace would kick on and drown out some of that.' 'Well, at least, they ain't yellin' today,' Bubba said. 'Hey, I notice the price of eggs done come down.' 'Some,' Axe said. 'But not enough. Everythang seems to be goin' up except what we make.' 'Ain't that the dang truth,' Bubba said. 'If my Socialable Security check goes up, so does what I have to pay Medicare.' 'We need to remind them politicians that they work fer us, not the other way 'round,' Axe said. 'Yeah, but too many people ain't keepin' up with what's goin' on in the world,' Bubba said. 'They just vote fer a familiar name on the ballot.' 'You think Trump's gonna declare himself pope too?' Alice asked. 'He can if he wants to,' Possum said. 'You got any ear plugs?' Bubba asked. 'My brain needs a rest.'
Yahoo
15-03-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
'We'd all better hope it's a lie'
'I'm disgusted,' Possum said as he sat down at the counter in Axe's True Blue Café and Barber Shoppe. 'What now?' Albino Alice the barber asked. 'The dang guvmint done went and made English the official language,' he said. 'Wait a minute,' Alice said. 'I thought you'd be jumpin' up and down about that. What did you want it to be?' 'Amurican,' Possum said. 'This is Amurica, not dang England. We fought two wars over that.' 'Now wait,' Alice said. 'You're speakin' English right now.' 'Am not,' he said. 'You ever hear me say sumpin' like 'Jolly Good,' 'me and me mates,' or anything like that. I speak Amurican and so do you.' 'Lord help me,' Axe said as he poured Bubba another cup of coffee. 'It jist gets crazier by the day.' 'You got your $5,000 in Musk money yet?,' Alice asked. 'Naw, he's been too busy drainin' the swamp and gettin' rid of waste,' Possum said. 'He'll get to it as soon as he can.' 'I wouldn't hold my breath,' Alice said. 'What's that 'sposed to mean?' Possum said. 'Means you'll see that money about the same time you spot that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,' Alice said. 'Well, you ain't gonna git yours, that's fer dang sure,' Possum said. 'I like when politicians say we all gotta suffer fer sumpin' they done,' Alice said. 'But it ain't never them that suffers.' 'Well, they losin' more money in the stock market than we are,' Possum said. 'Yeah, but they gonna have a lot more left than we are,' Alice said. 'This is kinda interestin',' Bubba said. ''Least they ain't yellin' at each other.' 'Yet,' Axe said. 'But the day is still young.' 'You know why the red states is red?' Alice asked. 'Uh, oh,' Bubba said. 'I think things is about to turn ugly.' 'Why?' Possum asked warily. ''Cause y'all love Putin and Russia,' Alice said. 'Do not,' Possum said. 'That's another Dumbocrat lie, like Trump is gonna take away Socialable Security, Medicare and Medicaid.' 'You'd better hope it's a lie,' Alice said. 'We'd all better hope it's a lie,' Axe said as he poured himself another cup of coffee.
