15-03-2025
The London Fire Brigade is fanning the flames of idiocy
In a world of digital brutality, AI and eyes glued to phones, there has been one site of soul-warming sanctity. For more than 10 years in London Tube stations such as Clapham North and Oval, there have been shelves filled with books. The bookcases contain used novels, non-fiction works, self-help titles, travel guides and so much more, and they're known as book exchanges. They are ideal for those who still relish the printed word over the likes of Kindle but who have no space for such used tomes at home. And the prisons, hospitals and market stalls have no room either. So what better idea than to leave a finished book in a tube station, then pick another in its place?
As the commuting cattle heave their way to and from work, the book exchanges offer a moment of human contact and the charm of swapped experiences. There are smiles between people and brief conversations.
That was before the heavy hand of London Fire Brigade became involved. And it wasn't donating a collection of emergency services-related literature.
'We are working with Transport for London with regards to their responsibility to remove all book libraries from subsurface stations. This is due to combustible material posing a fire safety risk,' said an actual human being employed by the organisation. And, yes, Section 7 of the Fire Precautions (Sub-surface Railway Stations) (England) Regulations 2009 does state that: 'All parts of station premises must be kept clear of any accumulation of combustible refuse' but the eagle eyed among you will see that these regulations have been in place for 16 years and only now is the policy being followed to the letter.
So, in a sort of reversed historical metaphor, the London Fire Brigade is echoing the Nazi regime of 1933 by banning books from the London Underground, in case they burn.
'Non-subsurface stations have been asked to remove book libraries from display,' went the order, and the book-banning flunkies duly made their way to the offending stations and confiscated what they call 'combustible material'.
And, of course, what these utter fools didn't do was to claim as their own any of the free newspapers that pile up and blow around tube and railway stations across the country and are, as this pyromaniac can assure you, far more flammable than any book.
To seek to remove these books is the action of a pen-pushing idiot seeking easy prey in the complex issue of fire safety. A pile of books would never be the initial cause, nor final nail, in the coffin of a tragedy. But, with traffic-warden mentality, some gloomy pedant has cast their eye around for an easy win in their tedious day and landed on this soft target.
Far too irksome to gather actual train drivers, operators and related folk around a table to discuss the issue, lest they do something like go on strike. Instead, they point a finger at the little minnows at the station and then, doubtless gloriously wasting hours, days, or months even drafting a diktat, they issue their nasty little order to have the books removed under the cover that 'the safety of those using the using the London transport network is our priority.'
There is, within a single bookcase in a station such as Oval, more culture, history and humanity than these futile, feeble minds at the London Fire Brigade dare to ever experience.
I'd even go as far as to suggest that the human contact, learning and brain food encouraged and nourished by these book exchanges is actually well worth any remote fire risk.
As I write there's the suggestion that the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, might step in and reverse the decision, to which I'd cry, 'Go Sadiq and have four more years!'
Although feel free to keep the ban at Highbury & Islington station. It's a pretty dodgy set of books, full of left-wing literature, vegan recipes and yoga; all of which look very flammable to me.
