17 hours ago
'There are three of us in our marriage - me, Gem and the 7/7 bomber'
When a chance encounter over social media meant Gem Biddle met Dan, she never imagined that it would turn into a 10 year marriage - but it doesn't come without difficulties for the pair
Gem Biddle didn't need a second date to know Dan was the man for her. She felt it even before she first saw him - nervously waiting outside her house ready to take her for lunch. They had been messaging for weeks after she accidentally friend-requested him on Facebook - having mistaken him for a pal of the same name. 'It was his smile for me,' Gem, 42, says. 'He was gorgeous and I was a smitten kitten.' Dan more than felt the same - which is why the pair have just celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary.
But it's what Gem doesn't tell you about this first date that really says it all about their relationship. For as well as being her funny, charming husband, Dan Biddle, now 46, is also the most injured survivor of 7/7, the 2005 London terror attack which killed 52 people and injured more than 900.
READ MORE: Most-injured 7/7 attack survivor Dan Biddle haunted by bomber's face 20 years on
He lost both his legs, his left eye, and his spleen, burst one eardrum and perforated another and suffered two punctured lungs, a ruptured liver and more after standing just inches from bomber Mohammad Sidique Khan in the Edgware Road blast. He suffers Complex PTSD, Survivor's Guilt, OCD, night terrors and depression and has tried to kill himself four times - the last time just last May. He's so haunted by the sight of the bomber's face, he paraphrases Princess Diana: 'There's three of us in the marriage, Me, Gem and Khan.'
And, despite being fiercely independent - (he refuses to have handles on his wheelchair) - there's inevitably some routine daily tasks for which he relies on Gem. Even Dan has questioned why Gem, 42, would take on such 'a responsibility'. But for her, Dan's injuries are irrelevant - not one of them has dimmed that smile. 'The connection was there before we met. It does not faze me, one bit. It never has. It never will,' she says, defiantly. 'And anyone who's got a problem with it, I keep well away from me….' Her mum and dad love Dan. As Dan's parents do her. But she's already cut contact with one relative who said she was 'wasting her life' by becoming 'a carer'. 'It tells me they're not the people I thought they were,' she says. 'And when I'm done with somebody, I don't feel emotional about it. I just shut down negativity. 'Yes, it's true - one day, I will most probably be 'the carer'. But I knew that when I got into this. And if I haven't got a problem with it, why should anyone else have?'
The truth is both of them had a stroke of luck that day Gem made the mistake on Facebook. Until meeting Dan, Gem from Abergavenny, South Wales, had been unlucky in love. Dan, meanwhile, was convinced he was unlovable. So when he heard his phone ping with the Facebook notification, he was thrilled. 'I opened it, saw the picture, and thought, 'Tidy! I'm definitely going to accept that!',' he laughs.
Four years went by, then Dan liked one of Gem's posts, they started messaging, and finally, in August 2013, Gem asked to phone him. The conversation was so easy, Dan found himself telling Gem his ordeal in more detail than he had ever revealed before. 'I just kind of unloaded it all,' explains Dan, 'She never said a word. There was this silence, and I just thought, 'Oh, you've done it now'….. But then she said to me, 'I can't ever begin to imagine what you've gone through and what you're going through, but you won't have to go through it alone anymore'.'That was just unbelievable.'
It was a few months later that Gem and Dan arranged to meet for the first time. 'I was really, really nervous,' admits Dan. 'I thought: 'She's amazingly beautiful, and I look like this, so how's this gonna pan out?'' Their chemistry however was instant. But the devil in his head that had been raging since 7/7 did not let the couple stay happy for long. Two months into the relationship, Dan became convinced he was 'toxic'. He ghosted Gem and decided the only way to not ruin her life was to end his. 'I couldn't accept the love Gem was giving me because I didn't think I deserved it,' he explains. 'I felt guilty for surviving 7/7. I felt guilty for not being able to help anybody. For a long time, I wished 7/7 had killed me. I'm ashamed to say it now, but I was envious of those that died, because their suffering stopped. My life is going to be traumatic memories, physical pain, emotional pain, that's part of what I am now…. I couldn't put Gem through that. So I made the first attempt to take my own life.' Over the next three months, Dan tried multiple times in multiple ways. But through a series of bizarre twists he survived each attempt. One night, as he put his speeding car into cruise control and prepared to hit the lorry in front of him, Khan's haunting face was replaced by Gem's. At the final second, he swerved, pulled onto the hard shoulder, called her and told her everything. It was the best decision he's ever made - for Gem was prepared. She recalls: 'When he'd first spoken to me about 7/7, I took myself to Edgware Road. I wanted to see exactly where he'd been. 'Then I sat night after night after night learning about Complex PTSD. I'd be there from midnight till 5am, constantly teaching myself about this condition. So when he told me what he'd been doing, I was like, 'It's simple. You come to me or I'll get you sectioned'. I wasn't afraid to do it. I've grown up with mental health all around me since I was small. I've had relations and friends that have had really serious mental health conditions. 'I already loved him and I knew it was what needed to be done. There was no hesitation, no question. So I told him 'get here and we'll go from there'.' He did and they started a long road of therapy. One of the hardest challenges came in 2014 when it was suggested he return to Edgware Road Station. For 90 minutes he waited, frozen outside, before asking Gem to take a photo of the platform for him instead.
She refused. 'I said 'No, we've come this far. We've got to do this properly',' she adds. Dan did one better. He got on the same carriage and completed his journey to Paddington. It was full of people. I'm dripping in sweat. Gem's crying her eyes out, mascara running down her face, God knows what, people thought. Then the train stopped,' he recalls. 'The station manager had arranged for it to stop, exactly where I'd been lying all those years ago. 'I looked down, and for a few seconds, I was back on the floor. I was smelling it. I was tasting it. But when the train pulled away, it felt like somebody had taken a big weight off me. I thought, 'I'm going to get off this train in Paddington with this amazing, beautiful woman who I'm going to marry soon and there's probably tiny fragments of him down there under the tracks…. so who really wins?'' The cathartic moment wasn't the end of his recovery, but it was a big step. 'Every day is a new day,' says Gem. He and Gem moved in together in Abergavenny, married in June 2015, and have spent each day since fighting their respective battles together.
It's not been easy. Dan is a self-employed access and recruitment consultant and Gem is his support worker. But the £118,462.19 compensation Dan received is long gone. They can't get a mortgage together and Dan can't get life insurance. They face prejudice and ignorance every day. But nothing was tougher to deal with than his mental health. By May 2024, Dan's illness had once more convinced him Gem would be better off without him. He went as far as planning what he was going to do and when and had everything he needed laid out in front of him. 'I thought I would be protecting Gem,' he says. 'But then I realised, I'd actually be smashing her heart into a 1,000 pieces.' So he told his wife. 'I wasn't surprised,' she admits. 'He'd been in a bad place. I was just thankful he told me.' Both admit they wouldn't be able to go on without the other. "I don't even want to think about that, because we are together. 24/7,' says Gem. 'We live together, we work together. Everything is just together.' Dan goes as far as to say the almost unthinkable. 'I wouldn't be here without Gem. I suffer pain, 24/7, physical and emotional pain. But even with all of that, to have the life that I've got with Gem, I wouldn't change what I've been through. Yet, as much as Dan needs Gem, she needs him. He treats her with a respect she's never had before. 'He's my rock. There's no problem that I can't go to him with,' she smiles. 'It's just nice to know that there's somebody there that's not judgmental. I feel safe with him. 'It takes a lot of getting used to but I'm glad I stuck it out. I've found out what true love is like. The Facebook request was a complete mistake but it was the best mistake I've ever made.'
Dan's telling his full story for the first time in his new book. BACK FROM THE DEAD: THE UNTOLD STORY OF THE 7/7 BOMBINGS By Dan Biddle with Douglas Thompson, by Mirror Books Hardback, £20, out Thursday
**For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email ** jo@ , visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
