25-04-2025
Find your voice, get comfortable with discomfort: Siobhán Haughey and Joanna Hotung's empowering advice for the girls of tomorrow
Be comfortable with feeling uncomfortable
Hotung is familiar with these topics, albeit from a different perspective: that of the mother of two daughters and the mentor of many girls over the years. She emphasises that the pressure of perfectionism does indeed, more often than not, hinder young girls' potential. 'Women, in particular, feel the need to excel in everything they undertake,' she says. 'The flip side of that is, of course, the fear of failure.'
That fear is something that resonates deeply with both women, who have both experienced it in their professional lives. For Haughey, swimming has been a cornerstone of her identity, teaching her to navigate life's inevitable ups and downs. 'Because I've been an athlete for so long, I've experienced a lot of failures—probably way more failures than successes,' she reflects. More than the long hours of training, she says the key to her success resides in her mentality: she had to overcome her fear of failure and learn to be comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.
It felt like Hotung had been eagerly anticipating the opportunity to delve into such a topic. 'Do things that scare you! Challenge yourself and put yourself out there,' she says enthusiastically. 'Use those interests and passions to actually help you develop as a person and do things that make you feel uncomfortable.'
Read more: Joanna Hotung, advocate for education and the youth, on blending Asian and western learning cultures, growing up TCK and the future of education
Above Siobhán Haughey wearing Chanel outfit, watch and fine jewellery
Above Joanna Hotung wearing Chanel outfit and fine jewellery
While cultural pressure and gender expectations have long added to concerns about failing, social media is an added worry for this generation. It amplifies peer pressure, fosters an environment rife with comparison, particularly among girls, Hotung says. Haughey chips in: 'Especially [with] teenage girls, peer pressure is everything.'
Haughey is keenly aware of the impact of peer pressure. Attending a local school that prioritised academics, she often found herself in a unique position—her passion for sport, particularly swimming, set her apart from her peers. 'My friends were always trying to invite me to hang out or go watch movies, but I could never go because I had swimming,' she says. This conflict left her grappling with feelings of isolation.
'It's just hard to be different, right?' asks Hotung.
Despite Hotung and Haughey's generational and professional differences, the two women found a profound connection in their shared experiences. Both Eurasians, born in Hong Kong to Chinese mothers, they have undergone a lengthy journey towards embracing their complex identities. It has taken years of introspection to achieve a sense of peace, but both said a pivotal moment was discovering their voices and true callings.
For Hotung, that calling was rooted in the world of drama. 'I think being in a drama group is a wonderful experience because you learn about failure and success,' she explains. 'You may win the role or you may not, but you have to perform on stage and develop your confidence. That's a great way for girls to really start learning, developing and experiencing all of these feelings while overcoming discomfort.' Finding your voice
Both women find it useful to have role models to help them find their voices. 'Find people who are strong female leaders that you resonate with, who share the same values, and see how they think of the world and how they react and behave,' Haughey says. 'I think that's a great start.'
Talking about role models, Hotung reflects on the profound influence her mother had on her life. A pioneer in her own right, her mother excelled in school and earned a scholarship to study in the US, only to be denied the opportunity because she was a girl. This setback shaped her mother's resolve to ensure her daughters would be raised differently. 'From a young age, my mum emphasised the importance of independence and self-fulfillment,' Hotung says. 'She was my role model, teaching me that while having good people in life is a blessing, we must also be self-sufficient.'
Read more: Siobhán Haughey on her Olympic goals, being inspired by Coco Chanel and Taylor Swift—and learning to say 'no'
Above For Siobhán Haughey and Joanna Hotung, the written word has been a powerful tool in their personal journey
While her mother was a first influence, Hotung says she's always been inspired by stories about girls and women: 'I went through a phase where I think I read every book by a woman entrepreneur that I could get my hands on,' she says, laughing.
For both women, the written word has been a powerful tool in their personal journey to find their path and voice. Haughey was particularly impacted by a book called Mindset (2006) by Carol Dweck. 'It's about the fixed mindset and growth mindset,' she says. 'It's about 'I can't do this' versus 'I can't do this yet'. Whether you're an athlete or not, there's a lot to take from it.'
Hotung devoured that book—it opened a whole new world of opportunities and possibilities, she says. And she has another addition for Haughey's reading list: Radical Candor (2017) by Kim Scott. 'This book really changed my life,' she says. '[It's about] finding your voice while being true to yourself. Sometimes people feel like having a voice means you have to be a loud advocate for something and behave in a way that doesn't feel natural and makes you feel very uncomfortable— but that's not true at all.'
Above Siobhàn Haughey at a self-discovery workshop 'Empowering Hour' with around 100 teenage girls (Photo: courtesy of Chanel)
Above Joanna Hotung at a Kids4Kids event (Photo: courtesy of Joanna Hotung)
Not finding your voice or your calling sometimes means that women find fulfilment in prioritising others' needs over their own, preventing them from reaching their full potential. 'Of course, it's wonderful to have that empathy and to be thinking of others,' Hotung says. 'But we also need to focus on what's right for us and become accustomed to finding our voice.'
As an introvert, Haughey identifies with this struggle a lot. But thrust into the spotlight thanks to her athletic prowess, she had to quickly learn how to assert herself, although she admits: 'I often find myself saying, 'I'm so sorry to bother you.' Why can't I just tell people what I need or expect?'
But Hotung is definitely hopeful and believes this is something that women can get better at doing, saying: 'It's similar to swimming: you're a good swimmer because you practise relentlessly, right? It's the same with finding your voice. The more you speak up, the better you become at advocating for yourself.'
Credits
Creative Direction: Zoe Yau
Photography: Zed Leets
Photographer's Assistant: Carlos Hui, Dylan Moore
Hair: Dickson Chan
Make-Up: Jovy Chai
Jewellery: Chanel
Outfit: Chanel
