Latest news with #TheArtandScienceofConnection
CNBC
25-04-2025
- Health
- CNBC
Just 17% of Americans under 30 feel they have deep social connections, new Harvard survey shows
America has a loneliness problem, and it's affecting younger generations at alarming rates. Just 17% of U.S. adults under the age of 30 report feeling "deeply connected to at least one community," according to a recent poll from The Institute of Politics at Harvard Kennedy School. The survey polled 2,096 Americans throughout the country between the ages of 18 and 29 years old. Less than half of young Americans polled feel that they have a sense of community anywhere. And almost 1 in 3 are still searching for a sense of belonging or feel they just don't have one. The cause of this loneliness epidemic isn't easy to pinpoint, experts say. Some people blame social media for the high levels of isolation, and others believe it's a systemic issue and has more to do with concerns about the state of the future. "This is a generation that's weathered pandemic isolation during formative years, entered an unstable economy, and faced skyrocketing housing and education costs — all while being told they're not resilient enough," said John Della Volpe, the director of polling at the Institute of Politics, in the survey's release. Although the source of the problem isn't obvious, experts like Kasley Killam, a Harvard-trained social scientist, are offering solutions on how to increase feelings of social connectedness. In Killam's "The Art and Science of Connection," she suggests the 5-3-1 guideline, a research-backed method for maintaining social fitness. Similar to getting your 10,000 steps in for physical fitness, here's how you can practice Killam's social workout plan. "The 5-3-1 guideline is meant to be like a reference point for people," Killam told CNBC Make It in June of 2024. To follow the guideline, you should: "Those numbers might be high or low for a given person," Killam said. "But in general, drawing from the research on the amount of time and amount of relationships that people have who are really thriving, that's a great starting point." A popular Harvard study, that's still ongoing, has spent the past 87 years tracking the health records of more than 700 participants to determine what leads to a long, happy life. The No. 1 thing the study found was that the happiest people who live the longest have positive relationships and maintain social fitness. Social fitness involves fostering healthy personal relationships that are balanced, according to Marc Schulz and Robert Waldinger, directors of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. Schulz and Waldinger suggest having different friends for different things. Ideally, aim to have someone, or more than one person, that can help you strengthen each of these areas: And don't let fear stop you from putting yourself out there to get closer to the people in your life or meet new people, they suggested in an article they wrote for Make It in February of 2023. "Whether it's a thoughtful question or a moment of devoted attention, it's never too late to deepen the connections that matter to you."
WIRED
07-03-2025
- Health
- WIRED
Want to Live Longer, Healthier, and Happier? Then Cultivate Your Social Connections
Mar 7, 2025 5:00 AM Chronic loneliness can increase cortisol and inflammation and weaken your immune system, says social scientist Kasley Killiam. She argues it's time to accept that good quality social connections are a fundamental human need. If you buy something using links in our stories, we may earn a commission. This helps support our journalism. Learn more. Please also consider subscribing to WIRED Social scientist Kasley Killam has always been fascinated by the science of human connection. In college, for instance, she once decided to conduct a personal experiment and perform an act of kindness everyday for 108 days. At the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, she researched solutions for loneliness. At Google's health spinoff, Verily, her job was to bring people together to promote social health. 'I first came across the term 'social health' during my research at Stanford, where I was developing an app around human connection,' Killam says. 'Since then all my work has been through the lens of connection.' Ahead of her keynote speech at WIRED Health later this month, Killam explains why social health has been the missing factor in human health. This interview has been edited for length and clarity. WIRED: Traditionally, human health has been divided into a physical and a mental component. But you make the case that a third pillar—social health—needs to be introduced. Why is that? WIRED Health showcases the most exciting and thought-provoking disruptors, scientists, and practitioners making a positive change in how we provide and access health care. Find out more. Kasley Killam: The reason why I believe it's so important to elevate and distinguish social health is because connection has such an outsized impact on our health, yet it's overlooked and underappreciated. If you look at all the data, it is incredible the extent to which it impacts and determines our health, our happiness, and our longevity. Connection is not some touchy-feely thing; it influences how long we live. Social health deserves to rise from the shadows and stand tall in the spotlight, because it's much more important than we realize. In your book, The Art and Science of Connection , you point out that the lack of social connections increases the risk of various diseases, from stroke to dementia. One astonishing finding you cite is that we're two to three times more likely to die in the next decade if our relationships are lacking, regardless of our mental and physical health. This is comparable in effect to regularly smoking and excessive drinking, being obese and physically inactive. What's happening to our bodies when we're lonely that leads to such bad outcomes? One of the leading theories is this idea of stress buffering. If you think about hunger or thirst, these are different cues that our bodies give us as a helpful way to know that we're missing something that we need. Loneliness is one of those cues. But when it's chronic, that becomes a problem. Chronic loneliness, just like chronic stress, ultimately increases cortisol, inflammation, and weakens our immune systems. We need other people in order to survive, so chronic loneliness is literally registered as a threat. In contrast, when you have supportive relationships, that calms down your body and you're able to manage stress more easily. Connection is a fundamental need that our bodies understand. You call the current state of our collective social health a public health emergency. Many agree with you: In 2023, the US surgeon general issued an advisory about our epidemic of loneliness and isolation, and the WHO has established a commission on social connection. What do you identify as the root causes for this crisis? The disconnection is a real crisis that gets talked a lot about. But there's also overconnection, where we're actually more connected than ever, but not in meaningful ways. We need to tackle both. There are many factors that have contributed to the status quo, and one we have to call out is technology and social media. That's something that I've become more worried about in recent years. Technology tools need to complement real human connection. But right now, a lot of them are being designed as substitutes or as crutches. AI is one example. Millions of people are using AI as a substitute for a romantic partner or a friend. That worries me a lot. There are also trends in our work culture: how much we work, how busy we feel. We often prioritize our careers over our relationships, at least in North American culture. And there are other trends, like living alone, which is a risk factor, and people being more transient than ever. I've lived in 12 cities and three countries at this point; it's hard to build a community when you're always moving. Of course, we can't talk about this topic without mentioning the impact that the Covid pandemic also had on our social health. What surprised me is that our social health wasn't affected as badly as you might think. Numerous studies showed that, although there was a rise in isolation and loneliness initially, people adapted and were resilient. There was a newfound appreciation for relationships and their importance. A lot of the narrative in the news is that the loneliness epidemic keeps getting worse, but not all the data support that. One of the really interesting findings was about community resilience. There were studies in the US, but also in countries around the world, like Bhutan and Denmark, showing that the places with strong community ties before the pandemic had fewer cases of COVID-19 and fewer deaths from COVID-19. We need to build up social health proactively so we can rely on it in times of need. We're a fan of social health initiatives you describe in your book, like Paris-based Super Neighbors and the idea of 'social prescribing,' which links patients to community groups and services, and is a key component of the NHS's strategy for personalized care in the UK. Are we seeing the start of a social health movement? Absolutely. Social health is today where mental health was 10–15 years ago; I expect the pace of innovation and the size of this industry to accelerate in the years ahead. There's a lot that I'm excited about: Connection curricula in schools to teach youth how to strengthen their social muscles, just like gym class teaches them how to strengthen their physical muscles. Cities investing in redesigning shared spaces. And so much more. I founded the nonprofit Social Health Labs in 2020 and we kicked off with a microgrant program, where every month we gave $1,000 to someone in the US who had an idea for a project to bring people together in their local community. It's been so inspiring. I admire people who do the hard work of fostering empathy and conversation, bringing people together who live within five miles of each other but had never met before. It isn't buzzy. It isn't AI-powered. But it's real, authentic connection—and it's what we need. Hear Kasley Killam speak at WIRED Health on March 18 at Kings Place, London. Get tickets at .
Yahoo
05-03-2025
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
You need to make time for quality interactions and friendships. Can the 5-3-1 challenge help?
We've all been told to shoot for 10,000 steps per day and eight hours of sleep at night to preserve our physical health. But it turns out there are metrics we can aim for when it comes to spending time with others and maintaining our social fitness, which is crucial for our overall well-being. It's called the 5-3-1 guideline, and it's the brainchild of Kasley Killam, a social health expert and author of The Art and Science of Connection, who likens the social challenge to the step count or protein goals you might have to keep your body fit and fueled. Under 5-3-1, people should "aim to interact with at least five different people each week, to maintain three close relationships and to spend one hour a day connecting," Killam tells Yahoo Life. How does it work? Here's what to know. Hanging out with the people you live with (your partner, kids, roommates, etc.) is great, but interactions with people you don't know quite so well is good too. These interactions should ideally be varied, from asking your co-workers about their weekend plans to chatting with a server at your favorite local cafe to checking in with your nearest and dearest. Says Killam: "The more variety of connection that we have, the better off we are. I wouldn't discount the importance of those micro-moments of connection." These interactions don't all have to be in person, but that is the preference. See for yourself — The Yodel is the go-to source for daily news, entertainment and feel-good stories. By signing up, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy. Some examples of these interactions could be: A friendly interaction with a barista, cashier, Uber driver, server, etc. Hosting a family gathering FaceTiming a friend Chatting with co-workers Grabbing lunch with your romantic partner Having a good conversation with a neighbor Striking up a conversation with another shopper about the weather, their cool T-shirt, the price of eggs, etc. Your closest relationships — those "ride-or-dies" you connect with on a deeper level — might be with people you rarely see. And that's OK! The important thing, according to Killam, is that, in addition to having those more casual everyday interactions with a variety of people, you have a stronger support system with at least three other people. Natalie Pennington, an assistant professor of communication studies at Colorado State University who recently published in the American Friendship Project, tells Yahoo Life that having more than one person in your corner is key because it can be "a buffer." "If you're having to fight with your mom, it's being able to turn to a friend," Pennington explains. "If you're fighting with your friend, it's being able to turn to your partner. If there is stress experienced in one relationship, being able to have someone else you can turn to is really important." Do what you can to actively foster those bonds, Killam adds. That might mean having a date night with your spouse, planning a trip to visit your best friend on the other side of the country or just calling a loved one for a catch-up. In contrast to the other parts of 5-3-1, this is less about hitting a weekly quota and more about not losing sight of the relationships that really matter. The one hour of connection each week doesn't have to be spent in one big 60-minute block, or with one person. Consider it a benchmark for working more active connections into your day. Killam cites a few examples: A 10-minute phone call during your commute to work A 20-minute conversation with your co-worker during your lunch break Taking a walk with your partner or kids after work Making a post-work phone call to a friend And no, Killam says she doesn't believe that watching TV with your significant other or child qualifies. "Doing an activity together can definitely count, but watching TV or something like that is passive," she says. "Sure, you're together, but you're not engaging with each other more deeply. I would say it's much more important that we get actual quality connection." You're on social media. You're answering emails all day. You're talking to people ... right? Killiam says today's reliance on technology makes it easy to feel like we're constantly connected, but it's "in a way that isn't fulfilling more deeply." It's like snacking on chips and popcorn instead of having a hearty meal. "It might be filling, and it might be satisfying to a certain extent, but we need to invest in that in-person time and deeper connection to truly be nourished." Another trend she's observed: People leaving the neighborhoods they grew up in and moving to new places, creating a sense of transience. Data shows that people aren't as active in community groups — such as book clubs, sports leagues or neighborhood associations — as they used to be, she notes. In the absence of those tried-and-true opportunities for connection, challenges like 5-3-1 can help motivate us to fill that friendship gap. While 5-3-1 might seem like a numbers game, Killam says that it's more about quality than quantity. It's about striving for more in-person encounters over social media scrolling, opening ourselves up to new friendships and spending quality time with the people we love most. That last one is especially important, says Pennington, who points to the American Friendship Project's findings that most people are satisfied with the number of friends they have, but wish they were closer and spent more time with those friends. And if it's just not practical to do an in-real-life hang, a text or FaceTime can still hold value. "We underestimate how much that means to the other person," says Killam. "A lot of us live in different places than our friends and family, and so it's a requirement to be able to stay connected in those kinds of ways."
Yahoo
05-03-2025
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
You need to make time for quality interactions and friendships. Can the 5-3-1 challenge help?
We've all been told to shoot for 10,000 steps per day and eight hours of sleep at night to preserve our physical health. But it turns out there are metrics we can aim for when it comes to spending time with others and maintaining our social fitness, which is crucial for our overall well-being. It's called the 5-3-1 guideline, and it's the brainchild of Kasley Killam, a social health expert and author of The Art and Science of Connection, who likens the social challenge to the step count or protein goals you might have to keep your body fit and fueled. Under 5-3-1, people should "aim to interact with at least five different people each week, to maintain three close relationships and to spend one hour a day connecting," Killam tells Yahoo Life. How does it work? Here's what to know. Hanging out with the people you live with (your partner, kids, roommates, etc.) is great, but interactions with people you don't know quite so well is good too. These interactions should ideally be varied, from asking your co-workers about their weekend plans to chatting with a server at your favorite local cafe to checking in with your nearest and dearest. Says Killam: "The more variety of connection that we have, the better off we are. I wouldn't discount the importance of those micro-moments of connection." These interactions don't all have to be in person, but that is the preference. See for yourself — The Yodel is the go-to source for daily news, entertainment and feel-good stories. By signing up, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy. Some examples of these interactions could be: A friendly interaction with a barista, cashier, Uber driver, server, etc. Hosting a family gathering FaceTiming a friend Chatting with co-workers Grabbing lunch with your romantic partner Having a good conversation with a neighbor Striking up a conversation with another shopper about the weather, their cool T-shirt, the price of eggs, etc. Your closest relationships — those "ride-or-dies" you connect with on a deeper level — might be with people you rarely see. And that's OK! The important thing, according to Killam, is that, in addition to having those more casual everyday interactions with a variety of people, you have a stronger support system with at least three other people. Natalie Pennington, an assistant professor of communication studies at Colorado State University who recently published in the American Friendship Project, tells Yahoo Life that having more than one person in your corner is key because it can be "a buffer." "If you're having to fight with your mom, it's being able to turn to a friend," Pennington explains. "If you're fighting with your friend, it's being able to turn to your partner. If there is stress experienced in one relationship, being able to have someone else you can turn to is really important." Do what you can to actively foster those bonds, Killam adds. That might mean having a date night with your spouse, planning a trip to visit your best friend on the other side of the country or just calling a loved one for a catch-up. In contrast to the other parts of 5-3-1, this is less about hitting a weekly quota and more about not losing sight of the relationships that really matter. The one hour of connection each week doesn't have to be spent in one big 60-minute block, or with one person. Consider it a benchmark for working more active connections into your day. Killam cites a few examples: A 10-minute phone call during your commute to work A 20-minute conversation with your co-worker during your lunch break Taking a walk with your partner or kids after work Making a post-work phone call to a friend And no, Killam says she doesn't believe that watching TV with your significant other or child qualifies. "Doing an activity together can definitely count, but watching TV or something like that is passive," she says. "Sure, you're together, but you're not engaging with each other more deeply. I would say it's much more important that we get actual quality connection." You're on social media. You're answering emails all day. You're talking to people ... right? Killiam says today's reliance on technology makes it easy to feel like we're constantly connected, but it's "in a way that isn't fulfilling more deeply." It's like snacking on chips and popcorn instead of having a hearty meal. "It might be filling, and it might be satisfying to a certain extent, but we need to invest in that in-person time and deeper connection to truly be nourished." Another trend she's observed: People leaving the neighborhoods they grew up in and moving to new places, creating a sense of transience. Data shows that people aren't as active in community groups — such as book clubs, sports leagues or neighborhood associations — as they used to be, she notes. In the absence of those tried-and-true opportunities for connection, challenges like 5-3-1 can help motivate us to fill that friendship gap. While 5-3-1 might seem like a numbers game, Killam says that it's more about quality than quantity. It's about striving for more in-person encounters over social media scrolling, opening ourselves up to new friendships and spending quality time with the people we love most. That last one is especially important, says Pennington, who points to the American Friendship Project's findings that most people are satisfied with the number of friends they have, but wish they were closer and spent more time with those friends. And if it's just not practical to do an in-real-life hang, a text or FaceTime can still hold value. "We underestimate how much that means to the other person," says Killam. "A lot of us live in different places than our friends and family, and so it's a requirement to be able to stay connected in those kinds of ways."
