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The Guardian
26-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
Could the right question bring some magic to your meetings?
Is there enough magic in your meetings? I can hear the hollow laughter from here. Research from the London School of Economics found that more than a third of meetings are considered unproductive, which seems awfully low to anyone who has been to a meeting, ever. 'People throw meetings at problems,' Priya Parker, meeting specialist and author of The Art of Gathering, lamented on the Fixable podcast recently, before offering her solution. Asked for a quick fix, she suggested kicking off with 'a magical question': one that everyone would be interested in answering and in hearing others answer. Her suggestion: 'What was your first ever concert, and who took you?' I've spoken to Parker and found her exceptionally impressive. But this seems like madness. Wouldn't a round of prolonged reminiscences about first Glastos and bad dates (or in my case, slightly eccentrically, Everything But the Girl in Harrogate with my mum's colleague's husband, Andrew) add a minimum of 10 minutes to even the smallest gathering? Aren't we all just desperate to get it over with? But with my life mercifully meeting-free these days, perhaps I'm missing the nuances of 2025 meeting etiquette. I enlisted my husband to test this out at his daily team meeting and listened in, clipboard (OK, coffee) in hand. His colleagues seemed a little startled but played along, and the answers were fun: from some very unexpected metalheads to a 15-year-old punk being dragged along to Kool & the Gang to impress a girl. To my ears, the remainder of the meeting sounded exactly like it always does (loudly conducted in what I usually refer to as 'business Martian'), but afterwards my spouse claimed it went well. If you're tempted, Parker offers other magical question ideas on her Instagram, including 'When was the last time you blew up a balloon by yourself? What was the event?' and 'What's the weirdest thing you have ever found in your pocket?' But I reckon the cartoonist Sam Lau had a better idea in her New Yorker cartoon with the tagline How to run short & effective meetings: it's three people gathered around a laptop, all doing planks. Emma Beddington is a Guardian columnist
Boston Globe
10-05-2025
- General
- Boston Globe
25 questions to bring you closer to your mom
'Good questions complicate an individual, instead of reinforcing the idea that we're one thing,' said Priya Parker, author of 'The Art of Gathering.' A thoughtful question, she added, 'builds connection and empathy, by reminding us that we're all trying, and we're complex.' For Mother's Day, The New York Times asked psychologists, researchers and communication experts for questions that will inspire rich, satisfying conversations with your mother -- or any loved one you'd like to know better. Advertisement How to get started Make a date with your mother, and try to set aside at least 20 minutes for the conversation. You can ask the questions below in order, or pick and choose. Even one question at the end of a quick call could deepen your relationship. Get Starting Point A guide through the most important stories of the morning, delivered Monday through Friday. Enter Email Sign Up History and memories Your mother had an entire existence before you came along. These questions will bring that part of her to life. Who made you feel seen when you were growing up? — Priya Parker, author of 'The Art of Gathering' What major event or realization shaped who you are? — Roni Cohen-Sandler, clinical psychologist and author of 'Anything But My Phone, Mom!' Of all the living people you're no longer in touch with, who is the person with whom you were the closest? Why aren't you in touch anymore? Advertisement — Eli J. Finkel, professor of social psychology at Northwestern University When did you realize you were a grown-up? — Prentis Hemphill, therapist and author of 'What It Takes to Heal' When you were a kid, what did you find exciting about the prospect of getting older? — Eli J. Finkel Who was your closest friend when I was a baby? — Jaimie Arona Krems, associate professor of psychology at UCLA Motherhood You and your mom had different experiences of your childhood. These questions are your chance to hear her perspective. What's something you swore you'd never do as a parent but did anyway? — Priya Parker What's the worst advice you've ever received about motherhood? — Jessica A. Stern, assistant professor of psychological science at Pomona College What's a phrase that has kept you afloat during hard times? — Prentis Hemphill What do you love most about being a mother now? — Karen Fingerman, professor of human development and family sciences at the University of Texas, Austin Your relationship Thinking back over the past few decades, what advice do you have for me as I grow to be your age? — Laurence Steinberg, author of 'You and Your Adult Child' What are some of your favorite memories of the two of us? — Dr. Sue Varma, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at New York University Was there a specific moment in my life that you didn't know how to handle? What did you end up doing? — Priya Parker Life right now You're not the same person you were decades ago -- and neither is your mom. These questions will help you get to know her. Advertisement What is something you've learned about yourself in the last six months? — Dr. Vicki Jackson, chief of palliative care and geriatric medicine, Massachusetts General Hospital What is one thing we must do together and start planning for now? — Dr. Sue Varma Can you tell me about a difficult emotion you've been dealing with lately? — Dr. Gail Saltz, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital Is there anything you do that seems mundane on the surface but has turned out to be sacred for you? — Prentis Hemphill What's something you still haven't figured out? What are you still wondering about? — Dr. Vicki Jackson How can we spend meaningful time together? — Erin Engle, psychologist with NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center Just for fun Is your mom full of surprises? You're about to find out with these questions. Did you have any nicknames when you were younger that I don't know about? What's the story behind them? — Erin Engle What was your favorite outfit growing up, and why? — Priya Parker If our family created a time capsule and you had to choose one item to include for future descendants, what would that item be, and why? — Dr. Judith Joseph, author of 'High Functioning' What are some of the most memorable songs in your life, and what do they mean to you? — Alison Wood Brooks, professor at the Harvard Business School and author of 'Talk' If you could redo any period in your life, what would it be, and why? — Anthony Chambers, psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University What is your favorite compliment to receive, and why? Advertisement — Alexandra Solomon, therapist and author of 'Love Every Day' This article originally appeared in .
