23-02-2025
No sex until you are engaged, feminist author tells teens
Women should not have sex until they are engaged, a feminist author has said.
Louise Perry argued that casual sex, dating apps, pornography and the normalisation of sexual kinks are putting women at risk.
The writer and podcaster, who has long critiqued mainstream feminism, added that society would benefit from returning to traditional values about sex.
The 33 year-old suggested that insisting on receiving a diamond ring before sex was a good insurance policy for a woman, to avoid conceiving with an unsuitable life partner.
'Even if you're using contraception, there is always the risk that you will get pregnant,' Perry told the Sunday Times.
'You do not want to get pregnant with a man who doesn't care if you get hit by a bus.
'A diamond ring is a good strategy. It's a significant investment which socially you can't just back out of.'
In her latest book, A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century: The Young Adult Adaptation, the writer argues explored how the sexual revolution impacted women.
'Having sex is one of the most consequential things a woman can do,' she told the newspaper.
Although contraception has reduced the chances of pregnancy, she said there were still 'so many pitfalls' – such as contracting diseases or being a victim of violence – in a culture where 'premarital sex is the norm'.
'This means men no longer have to make themselves marriageable in order to access sex,' she said.
Data from the Office for National Statistics last year showed that the proportion of married people in England and Wales had fallen below 50 per cent for the first time.
Perry's latest book, which draws on her experience working in a rape crisis centre, is aimed at a younger audience than The Case Against the Sexual Revolution, her 2021 bestseller.
The new work was written for 15 to 17 year-olds, after a father told her he wanted a less explicit version for his daughter.
'The terrible irony is that we are trying to protect [young] readers from anything too shocking, even though most of them will have been exposed to porn,' she added.
In her latest book, the final chapter – 'Listen to your mother' – advises women to stay away from dating apps, says that chivalry is 'a good thing', and argues that 'all girls and women should avoid being alone with men'.
Perry added that there are a lot of people who 'cannot make good sexual decisions, not least teenage girls'.
'If we're making choices between who we should prioritise, I think we should prioritise the vulnerable,' she said.
Regarding her own relationship, the author said she 'got lucky' by meeting her husband, with whom she has two children, at university.
'This idea that all these girl-bosses prefer their stilettos to having babies – I just don't think that's true,' she said, arguing society's current attitude toward casual sex did not make women feel liberated or empowered.
Perry said that the societal attitudes towards sex had reversed but posed 'just as many problems'.
She added that although she did not want to bring back 'slut-shaming', she could 'see its utility' and believed marriage 'serves women's interests'.
On the feedback her work has received, she said much of it was positive and came from young women who have had 'very unpleasant sexual experiences and struggled to reconcile them with their own liberal feminist beliefs'.
