13 hours ago
How To Not Dread Criticism: 20 Mindset Shifts To Welcome Feedback
Feedback can be a powerful driver of personal and professional growth—if you're willing to hear it. But for many leaders and professionals, the instinct to resist criticism runs deep, fueled by fear, ego or negative past experiences.
Shifting that mindset means training yourself to view feedback not as a threat to your competence, but as a catalyst for growth and clarity. Here, 20 members of Forbes Coaches Council share practical ways to reframe one's relationship with feedback so that it becomes a valuable tool for improvement rather than a source of dread.
1. Focus On The Outcome You Want
To welcome feedback, focus on the outcome you want. Openness doesn't mean all feedback is true; it means you're growth-minded and curious. Get clear about what you want and ask questions to turn feedback into actionable input, rather than a threat. Stay grounded by separating fact from opinion, then decide what's useful. That clarity enables you to lead yourself and others intentionally. - Jill D. Griffin, The Griffin Method
2. Turn Feedback Into A Gift
When you feel triggered by feedback, take a breath and ask, 'What else can you say about that?' Get curious about your own response, and ask yourself, 'What part of me is resisting this?' and pause. Ask for time to process the feedback, then write three facts that you agree with and three that you disagree with to move from subjectivity to objectivity. - Nathalie Blais, Coach Academy
3. Acknowledge Your Defense Mechanism
The first step is to acknowledge that the brain will respond defensively when one receives negative feedback. The second step is to recognize how feedback is associated with negativity rather than positivity. The key to a mindset that welcomes feedback is to extract a positive element from the negative feedback, allowing the brain's activity to shift from the amygdala to the frontal lobes. - Valerio Pascotto, IGEOS
4. Treat Criticism As Fuel For Growth
Treat criticism as free R&D for your growth—when feedback stings, lean in harder. Swap ego alerts for curiosity by asking, 'What hidden gold am I missing?' Map every critique into actionable insights, journal your learnings and thank your critics in private. Embrace the discomfort; it's the intense forge that tempers true leaders into unstoppable innovators. - Patricia Burlaud, P. Burlaud Consulting, LLC
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5. Produce Trust And Eliminate Fear
See people as more than number managers and results drivers. Be a sense-maker and a gap closer for your people's success. Frame intentions as being grounded in support and service of professional success and personal fulfillment. Model feedback that grows people across skill levels, building experience and confidence. Feed that back to nourish growth! - Jay Steven Levin, WinThinking
6. Reframe Feedback As A Learning Tool
Reframe feedback as fuel for growth, not failure. First, detach ego. Critique actions, not worth. Second, ask, 'What can I learn?' to spark curiosity over defensiveness. Third, seek input weekly to normalize it. Fourth, pause. Even harsh notes often aim to help, so focus on intent. Consistency rewires resistance into resilience. - Maryam Daryabegi, Innovation Bazar
7. Check If Your Impact Matches Your Intent
Feedback is an opportunity to understand whether your actions are actually having the impact that you intend. I help clients see that their intentions are only fulfilled if their actions align with them. Critical feedback can help you understand if there is a disconnect, and it provides a point to reflect on what you might need to change in your actions to ensure you have the impact you truly want to have. - Katie Anderson, Katie Anderson Consulting
8. Treat Input As Data For Growth, Not Identity
The shift happens when feedback stops being about identity and starts being about growth. I've seen the most resilient leaders treat input like data. They stay curious, not defensive. The key is decoupling worth from performance so feedback becomes fuel, not a threat. - Laurie Arron, Arron Coaching LLC
9. Shift From Self-Protection To Self-Expansion
The key to a mindset that welcomes feedback is shifting from self-protection to self-expansion. When identity is rooted in growth, not perfection, feedback isn't a threat—it's insight. This mindset thrives on curiosity over control and sees critique as a portal to evolution, not a judgment of worth. - Deepa Vohra Bahl
10. Choose Learning Over Being Right
To welcome feedback, shift from ego to growth. Ask, 'What can I learn here?' instead of, 'What did I do wrong?' Feedback isn't an attack—it's a mirror. Train yourself to crave truth over comfort. When growth becomes your identity, criticism stops being a threat; it becomes your greatest tool. - Robert Gauvreau, Gauvreau | Accounting Tax Law Advisory
11. Proactively Seek Feedback
The key is to train yourself to ask for feedback before it comes uninvited. That flips the script: You stay in control, show readiness to grow and lower the fear factor. When it comes, listen without defending—just say 'thanks' first, then reflect later. This habit rewires your brain to view feedback as help, not harm. - Stephan Lendi, Newbury Media & Communications GmbH
12. Connect Feedback To Your 'Why'
It starts with your 'why.' Why is it important to you to receive feedback? How will it accelerate your growth and align with your goals? When we connect our goal to our true inner motivation, we are more likely to develop the strong and resilient mindset necessary to overcome old patterns of behavior, such as not being open to feedback, accelerating our growth and sustaining new behaviors. - Gina Martin, Gina Martin Coaching & Consulting
13. Redefine What Feedback Means To You
Get clear on your understanding and definition of what feedback means to you. Good feedback is great—we all enjoy receiving positive recognition! But truly, even 'bad' feedback or criticism is good. Why? The law of awareness states that we cannot change what we are unaware of; we can only change what we are aware of. If we never accept feedback as an opportunity to grow and evolve, we will always come to dread it. - Jenna D'Annunzio
14. Separate Your Self-Worth From Feedback
The key is learning to separate your self-worth from the feedback. When you stop taking criticism personally and start seeing it as insight, not an insult, it shifts everything. Feedback becomes less about judgment and more about growth. It's not about proving yourself; it's about growing and improving yourself. That mindset makes all the difference. - Veronica Angela, CONQUER EDGE, LLC
15. Prioritize Progress Over Perfection
Welcome feedback by shifting your identity from being right to being a refined learner. Detach your ego and see criticism as data, not a verdict. When you treat each insight as a growth opportunity rather than a personal attack, feedback becomes a tool for mastery. The most powerful mindset? Progress over perfection—always. - Yasir Hashmi, The Hashmi Group
16. Ask Yourself What You Can Discover
Set your energetic intention before or while receiving feedback. Ask yourself, 'Do I want to defend or discover?' and, 'What can I learn from this moment?' Then, to lean into welcoming feedback, ask yourself, 'If 5% of this feedback is true, what would I do differently?' These subtle reframes can start to lower defensiveness and invite growth. - Mel Cidado, Breakthrough Coaching
17. See Feedback As A Reflection Of Others
The key is realizing that feedback reveals more about the giver than it does about you. It reflects what they look for, value or experience, not who you are. Seeing feedback as insight into others rather than as judgment of yourself makes it easier to welcome and use productively. - Kelly Stine, The Leading Light Coach
18. Practice Curiosity Over Personalization
Approaching feedback from a place of observation and curiosity, rather than taking it personally, is critical. These are growth opportunities, not punishments, and that can be a hard thing to learn. Practicing having an open mind and reflecting on the feedback you're given can help build this muscle. - Elizabeth Hamilton, EA Hamilton Consulting
19. Think Of Feedback As Another Point Of View
Think of feedback as seeing yourself from another perspective. We all see the world, and each other, differently. Sometimes, a person's feedback won't fully resonate because they only see a fraction of what is going on. This doesn't mean that the feedback isn't worth considering. My feedback motto is: Take what is valuable, leave what isn't. - Megan Malone, Truity
20. Stop Treating Feedback Like A Personality Test
The trick is to stop treating feedback like a personality test you're failing. Real growth starts when you see criticism as intel, not insult. It's not about who you are; it's about what you can be. The best leaders don't flinch at feedback—they mine it for gold. Sure, it stings sometimes. So does the gym. That's how you build muscle. - Anastasia Paruntseva, Visionary Partners Ltd.
