Latest news with #TheManWhoMustRemainNamelessandFaceless
Business Recorder
08-05-2025
- Politics
- Business Recorder
PARTLY FACETIOUS: Trump says has called off any more attacks on Yemen
'War is not a joke.' 'Indeed not but…' 'There is no but here – I want it to stop.' 'What you said yesterday — Ye Men.' 'President Trump has called off any more attacks on Yemen because he says the Houthis have capitulated.' 'Is that verifiable?' 'Nothing in war is verifiable, but Oman says that it brokered the ceasefire between the US and the Houthis.' 'What about social media? Are they confirming that the Houthis have capitulated?' 'See, Ye men are kinda warmongers. I mean, what does it matter if one side claims the other has capitulated if it ends the war and bloodshed…' 'Gaza remains steeped in blood and starvation and….' 'Or till the Houthi's fire another missile towards Israel or the shipping lane…' 'Hmm, but seriously, social media will provide the proof soon enough one way or the other.' 'Indeed so India claims it attacked mosques because they were being used as training camps while we claim downing their planes and…' 'WE do, but I have it on good authority…' 'How good is the authority?' 'The people on our side of the border in Azad Kashmir, anyway, the Pakistan army has cleared the border areas…' 'Right, and what's this ridiculous story sourced to Ukraine that we are short of artillery shells because we sold them to Ukraine on America's directives and…' 'I agree it is ridiculous because even though we need foreign exchange, yet the source is suspect – I mean, remember The Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless was in Moscow at the time the Russians attacked Ukraine, much to the chagrin of the West and…' 'India took up the Ukrainian report though, and I would assume this is to get the Russians against us given that Lavrov has offered to mediate…' 'Dear me, an attempt to make an impartial mediator partial, hunh! This is happening in more than one area of conflict in the world today.' 'That is true, not facetious at all.' Copyright Business Recorder, 2025
Business Recorder
28-04-2025
- Politics
- Business Recorder
PARTLY FACETIOUS: ‘We can no longer suffer accountants gladly'
'Just wondering about war strategies.' 'Yes, daily exchange of fire across our borders with India after the Pahalgam attack…' 'I am hoping that better sense will prevail…..' 'Oh, were you referring to the terror attacks on our border with Afghanistan, I mean don't our intelligence agencies reckon India has a hand in…' 'Right but that's not what I was referring to when I mentioned war strategies…..for example Israel's war strategy is to assassinate the leadership, they killed the Hezbollah leader, they killed the Hamas leadership — the one Israel was engaged in dialogue with and the commander in Gaza, there is also talk of Israel considering decapitating the Iranian leadership before launching an attack and….' 'Ah I see so are you asking if India is considering a similar strategy. If you recall, Ziaul Haq and Benazir Bhutto were both assassinated – the former cost the taxpayers a rather expensive plane and Benazir Bhutto…' 'Don't be facetious.' 'No, no, I am merely saying that Ziaul Haq's assassination…' 'Shut up right now. And for your information, I don't think there is irrefutable proof that the two assassinations were carried out by enemy forces – I mean the jury is still out on that and…' 'We don't have a jury system, thank you. We have a judiciary in sufficient numbers courtesy the twenty-sixth amendment, and the Law Minister is currently engaged in ironing out a minor irritant relating to judges' transfers and seniority…' 'What do you think of us adopting a jury system?' 'Not workable here at all.' 'How come, it is working in other parts of the world.' 'Jury system is based on the peers of the accused passing judgment now I ask you does The Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless have any peers, does The Third Wife, a spiritual guide no less, have any peers and…' 'Wait, wouldn't Wife Number one…' 'She is no longer someone whose guidance he listens to.' 'Right OK, so the jury system is out, and judges are in, in great numbers – one question, is anyone keeping a tab on how many pending cases today compared to before the judiciary strength was increased…and…' 'We are not good with numbers, my friend.' 'We need an accountant…' 'We can no longer suffer accountants gladly.' 'The expression is suffer fools…' 'You are obtuse.' Copyright Business Recorder, 2025
