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South China Morning Post
a day ago
- Health
- South China Morning Post
A psychologist explains why your brain gives you a gut feeling – and if you can trust it
Have you ever met someone and felt an instant connection? How about immediate dislike? Some of us might think this feeling has something to do with fate or destiny. But psychologist Andrew Stock has a more scientific explanation. That gut feeling means our brain is working efficiently. It can be described by a concept called cognitive efficiency, which refers to using the least amount of energy to perform a task well. Stock is the president of the Psychotherapy Society of Hong Kong and a founding partner at Therapy Partners. The psychologist explained that our brains learn to save energy and time by making quick decisions and judgments, often without us even realising it. He called it a 'short cut'. Scientists explain how volcanic ash turned a human brain into glass Why does the brain create short cuts? The brain constantly processes enormous amounts of information. It needs to use this information to make instant decisions. To handle this massive workload, the brain has trained itself to be as productive as possible. Instead of analysing every detail in a situation, our minds use short cuts to help us focus on the most important details, Stock explained. These short cuts help us quickly respond to new situations based on our previous experience. 'For example, when I see a dog barking loudly, I instantly step back, assuming it could be dangerous. Figuring out if it's friendly or not potentially comes later,' he said. Our brains are constantly processing information as quickly as possible. Photo: Shutterstock We even make snap judgments about people based on a small amount of information – like how they may look, speak or act when we first meet them. This can cause us to treat others differently, and we might not even realise it. For example, we might be friendlier to someone who dresses the same way we do while avoiding someone who seems different. 'When you get a gut feeling about a stranger, pause and consider the actual facts you have about them,' the psychologist said. Compare those facts with any assumptions you might have made before you come to a conclusion, he said. How can Hong Kong teens stress less and what apps are available? Avoiding false judgments You can try talking to friends or family to get different points of view. We can also practise empathy by imagining ourselves in someone else's shoes. Think about the other person's feelings, their situation or the reasons behind their actions. 'Perhaps some of your peers can't buy the newest Labubu charm because their parents earn less, but it's important to remember that their worth and coolness aren't defined by what they own,' Stock said. He also suggested making an effort to talk to people who come from different backgrounds to learn more before forming an opinion. Ask open-ended questions and encourage the other person to share more about themselves. Listen carefully and pay attention to things that do not match your first impression. Sometimes your brain might jump to a conclusion that isn't always accurate. Photo: Shutterstock It is also helpful to reflect on times when your gut feeling was wrong. This helps you realise that your instincts are not always accurate. 'Remember, your brain's short cuts are there to help, but they're not always right,' Stock said. 'Taking a little extra time to get to know someone can help you see them more clearly and can lead to better friendships, less conflict and a more open-minded view of the world.' Reflect: Have you ever had a gut feeling about something? To test your understanding of this story, download our printable worksheet or answer the questions in the quiz below.
South China Morning Post
09-02-2025
- General
- South China Morning Post
Why are family gatherings so stressful?
We're almost at the end of Lunar New Year celebrations in Hong Kong. But with all the festivities and large family gatherings, this may have been a nerve-racking time. Katie Leung Pui-yan, a partner, child and family therapist at Therapy Partners in Hong Kong, explains why festive seasons can be so challenging. Why are big gatherings stressful? Festive occasions often reunite people who do not typically see each other. 'These reunions often involve updates on each other's lives, such as how school is going,' Leung said. The therapist explained that family get-togethers often focus on good news and achievements. However, this can be discouraging for those who do not feel like they are doing well in their studies; they might be struggling to keep up with what their family expects them to accomplish. Leung said: 'The expectation to showcase their achievements can be overwhelming, especially when they are already going through a difficult time. They might also dread having to share bad news or, even worse, explain their failures.' She added that even those who did well in their studies might feel pressured to achieve more. Katie Leung Pui-yan is a therapist in Hong Kong. Photo: Handout How to reduce the stress At large gatherings, you can try to spend time with people who will not push you into uncomfortable conversations. But if you cannot avoid them, you can learn how to move away from these tiring chats. One good way to do so is by using humour. Leung said: 'You can be playful in your response. If someone asks about your grades, you can say, 'That's an interesting question, but what's on the menu today?' This shifts the focus without being rude.' Leung pointed out that it might be difficult for young people to decline conversations or end them early, as this could be seen as disrespectful. You can try to tell your parents about how some relatives say things that make you feel stressed. They could help you navigate these conversations more easily. Also, try to adjust your thinking. Focus on the positive things you can enjoy at the get-together, such as having a delicious meal. For anyone who has an effortless time at family gatherings, remember that not everyone might feel the same way. Try to be understanding of others who may not be as excited. 'Be there for them. Listen to what they have to say and offer your support. By simply listening, you could make a big difference,' Leung said. Use the puzzle below to test your knowledge of the vocabulary words in the story. Suggested answers Stop and think : What makes it hard to tell family about failure? It can be embarrassing to share our failures because we don't know how they will react. Reflect: Why can big family gatherings be stressful for some people? These reunions mean that people might feel obligated to update their family on things in their life. Sometimes, this means sharing bad news or times that didn't go very well, and this can be an unpleasant experience. Consider: What does Leung suggest for reducing the discomfort at these events? Leung says that you can use humour for a polite topic switch to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. You can also work together with your parents if there is a relative that tends to ask you invasive or overbearing questions. Finally, she said you can focus on the positive aspects of the family gathering.
