13-05-2025
The luxury of companionship
My grandmother had worms living in the back of her hands. Or that's what I believed as a small child, as I pressed them curiously. And repeatedly. They weren't scary, they were simply another interesting part of her. The physicality of age isn't frightening when we're young. I remember Gam very well; the way she walked slowly, the way she always whistled under her breath as she moved around the house, the way she called us 'darling' in her rich, rich voice.
Of course the worms were veins, the gait was due to arthritic hips, the whistling was probably to help cope with the pain, and the deep voice was down to a lifetime of smoking.
The point is that I was lucky enough to spend every summer holidays of my childhood with her. We stayed with her in her house called Wildwood, deep in the woods on top of a hill in Canada. I never gave a thought to how lonely she, as a widow whose daughter and grandchildren lived in England, might have been for the other ten months of the year.
According to the NHS, a million older people in this country say they go over a month without speaking to a friend, neighbour or family member. A million older people say they are lonely some or all of the time. A million. That's 11 Wembley Stadiums of people. That's the combined populations of Southampton and Portsmouth, plus a few more. All sitting in the mute desperation of solitary confinement.
In this moving article, Francisca Kellett writes about the Together Project charity. It brings together older people and toddlers in groups called Songs and Smiles in care homes across the nation. They all have a marvellous time. Please read it, it will take you roughly four minutes.
