10 hours ago
Lords seek mercy
Photo by Ben Stansall/AFP
Zero noblesse oblige from Conservatives in the Lords where the employment bill is being held hostage in a Tory rearguard battle to save crusty hereditaries from the chop. Chief class warrior is the former Tory Central Office apparatchik Lord Nicky True, who, with his desperate band, is frustrating the bill in an effort to force Baroness Angela Smith to reprieve entitled sons, grandsons, great-grandsons, etc from history's dustbin. However, Labour's Leader of the Lords is determined to deliver manifesto commitments.
The new Bishop of Coventry, Sophie Jelley, has become collateral damage due to True's tactics. Smith proposed lifting a convention barring freshly created peers from taking the ermine on Wednesdays to accommodate Jelley and several others. True demurred, so the bish must wait as he sends the Church of England – once the Tory party at prayer – to, er, Coventry.
Exactly where does Tory-turned-Reform poster girl Andrea Jenkyns live? She made her home in West Yorkshire as Conservative MP for Morley and Outwood and vowed to move 'full time' to Greater Lincolnshire now she's mayor for the hard-right party. The striped wallpaper and pictures on a 5 June interview from home for GB News captioned 'Lincolnshire' were remarkably similar to a 29 December appearance from Wakefield. Hmmm. Called out on this remarkable coincidence, Reform admitted the Lincolnshire location was a mistake and Jenkyns has yet to move. Hoist on her own decor.
Cabinet comrades are growing impressed by water-boss basher Steve Reed. One admirer admitted they'd initially thought the Environment Secretary post was a speedy trip to the back benches. Bit of a wind-up merchant is Reed. Colleagues recall Tory oppo, Vicky Atkins, Sunak's last health secretary, accusing the government of spending more than the entire Defra budget surrendering the Chagos Islands. 'If the shadow secretary of state really cared about value for money,' shot back Reed, 'she would not have wasted £500,000 on relocating her office in the Department of Health.' Atkins was subsequently observed running through the lobby after Reed. 'It wasn't half a million,' she wailed, 'it was £300,000.' That's OK, then.
Unable to get to Durham for the Aslef train drivers' conference, Heidi Alexander sent a video instead. The Transport Secretary stressed the value of strong ties between Labour and the unions. She emphasised the importance of those links by sending retirement best wishes to Aslef's general secretary, Mick Whelan. Awks. Comrade Mick has up to 18 months in office remaining. Talk about coming off the rails.
Reactionary tractor boy Rupert Lowe, sitting as a Great Yarmouth indy since Reform ploughed him up, drove into a Westminster Hall trap set by the Brummie independent Muslim MP Ayoub Khan. Fulminating against halal meat, the farmer was asked if he felt the same way about kosher food. Lowe briefly answered yes, before resuming the tirade against halal. Our listening leftie Jewish snout whispered that the motormouth had instantly uprooted the hard right's bid to woo Jewish voters.
Nearly a year on, and Portcullis House remains an obstacle course for Stroud newbie Simon Opher. The 2024 Labour arrivée was seen stuck in a glass revolving door. Opher's surprised guest alerted security to rescue the trapped member. Passing a fellow MP moments later, Opher giggled: 'That keeps happening to me.' Just four more years then to perfect using a door.
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An unlikely pairing sighted in Portcullis House: Tim Farron and the ex-England footballer Graeme Le Saux. The Lib Dem is a fan of the player's old club, Blackburn Rovers, and the duo met at a Football Foundation dinner. Could Le Saux, teased at Chelsea for reading the Guardian and visiting museums, join the Lib Dem team?
Business Secretary Jonny 'three trade deals' Reynolds revealed they aren't easy to make. Inviting Indian negotiators to the Serpentine in Hyde Park backfired when they were late on a sweltering London day and his officials had to eat all the melting ice creams bought for visitors. During a call with US counterpart Howard Lutnick while driving through Woodhead Pass in the Pennines, phone reception was so patchy a sweating Reynolds worried he'd accidentally 'sell the fucking NHS because of Britain's telecommunications infrastructure' during a faltering conversation. Upgrading rural comms is personal.
Hacks pondered whether Kemi Badenoch is beaten down after she skulked in the background then left immediately following a short speech at the launch of radio host Iain Dale's latest Thatcher tribute. She was in a fluster at PMQs after Keir Starmer asserted new scanners had been installed at two hospitals in her Essex constituency. Badenoch insisted there was only one hospital. Subsequently cited Broomfield Hospital and Saffron Walden Community Hospital, her mouthpiece insisted the latter didn't count. Or perhaps they couldn't count to two.
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[See also: The race to succeed Sadiq Khan]
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