28-04-2025
Taste Test: Malört candies don't disappoint
What started out as an April Fools' laugh, has turned into a confection bitter enough to make you cry.
Why it matters: New Malört Sucks candies open the horrors of Chicago's favorite cult beverage to a whole new segment of the population: non-drinkers.
The backstory: After creating a jokey social media post about fictional Malört candies last April 1, Malört maker CH Distillery got so many requests for the product it decided to launch real ones this year.
What they're saying: "We are excited to bring Malört Sucks hard candies to our loyal fans across the country, giving them exactly what they asked for — another bad idea," CH CEO Tremaine Atkinson said in a statement.
The verdict: These little suckers greet you with a butterscotchy sweetness that quickly gives way to notes of grapefruit peel and chloroquine. In other words, Malört fans will love them.
Others will probably want to save these for pranks only.
