14-02-2025
YWCA McLean County educates local teens about dating abuse
BLOOMINGTON, Ill. (WMBD) — February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.
In the past year, YWCA McLean County had 44 cases with people under 18.
Nastasha Powers, the assistant director, stressed just how important education is in preventing teen dating abuse. The organization visits school districts and agencies across Bloomington-Normal to teach young people about the red flags people should look out for.
According to Powers, a few of these red flags may include an abuser controlling what their victim wears or who they talk to, isolating their victims from friends or family, or using 'love bombing' tactics.
Someone who is love bombing their partner might buy them gifts, or give their partner excessive compliments and affection, before turning to insulting, controlling, or degrading behaviors.
Those facing abuse could also seem like they are losing their identity because abusers often strip their victims of power.
Powers also described a few green flags in a relationship.
'You're equal in a relationship. A person meets you where you are. Your boundaries are respected. You're validated as a person. You are heard as a person, and you can be who you need to be,' she said.
'There is no mask in the relationship,' she said. 'But you're authentically you around this person. That person is authentically themselves around you, [and] around your friends.
'There is no lack of trust. There is communication. You're both able to be vulnerable and transparent about what your boundaries are,' Powers said.
According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Prevention and Control, one in three men face sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner.
Often, men can get overlooked in conversations about abuse. 'We taught men to basically sweep things under the rug because they shouldn't show pain.' Powers said.
She said social-emotional learning is important to teach children from a young age.
'Being a mom of two boys, I teach, your emotions are yours. To be able to release your feelings are valid,' Powers said.
She reminds men that victimization comes in all shapes, sizes, and genders.
Teenagers facing abuse might not always know who to turn to if they are being abused. Powers encourages teens to talk to a trusted adult, whether that be a parent, counselor, teacher, or club leader.
'If the person that you disclose to is not comfortable or is not receptive,' she said, 'continue to disclose to someone until there is some type of relief.'
Parents might also feel lost as they try to figure out how to talk to their children about dating and abuse. She reminds them that it is never too late to open an educational dialogue with their children. It is important for children to feel safe and comfortable to have these conversations with their parents.
Powers said it can take up to 11 times for a victim to leave their abuser, but support is the most important thing in helping someone get through it. People going through abuse can be an embarrassing experience.
She said, 'We have to take the shame away from abuse. We have to remind them in no way, shape, or form is it your fault.'
'As a mom myself, you can get into Mama Bear mode or Papa Bear mode. And so sometimes we have to remove ourselves from Mama Bear, Papa Bear, or any other guardian that's there,' she said. 'We have to remove ourselves out of that role of being that protector and go into the role of being that supporter because that's what they need at that time.'
Powers said that no one should suffer in silence, and wants to remind teenagers going through abuse that they are not alone. She stressed that survivors should have agency and power in their decisions; whether they want the police involved or how they want to navigate their journey.
The organization operates Stepping Stones, McLean County's only sexual assault program; providing a 24-hour crisis hotline for sexual abuse survivors and their loved ones. Stepping Stones can be reached at: (309) 556-7000.
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