23-05-2025
Opinion: Japan politicians need to stop saying 'I was scolded by my wife' when apologizing
TOKYO -- "Actually, I got a call from my wife, and she was angry with me." These were the words of former agriculture minister Taku Eto, explaining himself to reporters the day after he said he had "never bought rice" amid rice shortages and high prices Japanese consumers are facing.
I was thinking, "Again?" Why do politicians bring up their wives, and say, "I got scolded by my wife," or, "My wife was angry," when trying to explain a gaffe?
Former Prime Minister Yoshiro Mori, who served as president of the now dissolved Tokyo Organizing Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games, did the same thing. In 2021, after he was criticized for making the sexist comment, "Board meetings with many women involved drag on," he said, "My wife was very mad at me," and, "I got scolded by my daughter and granddaughter, too."
Is it still believed in the Nagatacho district, Japan's political center, that saying "My wife got mad at me" serves as a sort of excuse? It seems to trivialize the issue as a domestic matter, making any apology appear even more insincere.
Commenting on the now sacked minister's remark, essayist Seira Fujii posted on X (formerly Twitter), "So he has now dealt the 'patriarchal I'm-sorry card,' where a husband asks for forgiveness because his wife, whom he considers to be 'below' him, scolded him."
In the United States, the wives of politicians sometimes appear when their husbands are making apologies. During former President Bill Clinton's affair scandal, his wife Hillary publicly stated that while her husband's actions were undesirable, they were not grounds for impeachment. In a prostitution scandal involving then New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, his wife attended his apology press conference. In the U.S., a wife's "forgiveness" seems to be key to the husband's redemption.
However, the context is entirely different between cases like infidelity, where the wife is a "victim," and former minister Eto's "rice" gaffe.
In Japan, the "my wife got mad at me" comment carries an implicit nuance of "I am sincerely reflecting to the extent that I even listen to my wife's (not particularly necessary) scolding," along with an "oops" vibe -- like a gesture of sticking out one's tongue and smiling to lighten the mood. It is a "Showa era (1926-1989) gesture" suggesting that a husband dominated by his wife is lovable.
The phrase "I got scolded by my wife" evokes a mood uniquely associated with Japan's outdated male-dominated society, where saying this to colleagues at work allows men to get sympathy. This might be one of the roots of the "my wife got mad at me" remarks.
Politicians, saying "I was scolded by my wife" is not an apology at all. Isn't it time they stopped saying this?
(Japanese original by Ayako Oguni, Opinion Editorial Department)
