Latest news with #ZeigarnikEffect
Forbes
2 days ago
- General
- Forbes
3 Reasons Why Being Mysterious Can Boost Your Appeal On Dates, By A Psychologist
When you meet someone new, you might be tempted to share everything about yourself in an effort to ... More find common ground. But doing this can actually get in the way of building a deeper connection. There are two types of dates that can shake your confidence: one where you feel so nervous that you can barely get a word out and another where your nervousness leads you to overshare. You want to be authentic and 'show them who you really are' but it's tough to strike that balance. In such cases, the best step to take is to show a little restraint. You don't have to bare it all right away, but you also don't need to be tight-lipped. The key lies in pacing. Think about the people you're most intrigued by. They're usually the ones who are just a little hard to read. They might be open and welcoming, but share their lives bit by bit as they get to know you. Here are three reasons why having a touch of mystery makes you stand out to your date. The reason why situationships can sometimes hit us so much harder than relationships may have to do with our fantasies. We already know how and why a relationship ended, but a situationship comes with a lot of blanks that our mind tries to fill with fantasies. We may have imagined a future with the version of them that we liked, and this vision keeps us hooked. The same phenomenon can be used more constructively in dating, where you slowly get to know the other person. For instance, you might reveal that you're a ballet dancer and later mention how you enjoy fishing with your brothers. This can make the other person wonder what else there is to figure out about you and recognize that you are multi-faceted. When you leave certain things unsaid, you invite the other person's imagination to fill in the blanks. This taps into a phenomenon called the Zeigarnik Effect, which refers to our tendency to fixate on incomplete information. Dating is a journey of figuring each other out. This is why it's also important to allow yourself to evolve and keep up your hobbies, interests and social life while you date, so you have stories of your authentic self to share. That is what makes the process of getting to know each other consistently interesting. Create room for curiosity and let the attraction build over time. You're not being evasive on purpose. You're trying to let the other person engage with you over shared interests, lighter topics and slowly delve deeper as you get to know each other better. In the age of constant connectivity, we underestimate the seduction of absence. When you don't reveal everything at one go and create some distance between the two of you, you give your date the chance to think about you and to miss you. By doing so, you're not pulling back. All you're trying to do is ensure you're not getting sucked into a whirlwind of romance and pacing your relationship. You need to have some emotional breathing room. One 2010 study published in Psychological Science shows that college women were most attracted to the men when they weren't sure how much those men liked them. This doesn't mean that anyone should chase emotionally unavailable partners, but confirms that creating a little bit of mystery can increase anticipation and likely, attraction. While we should always aim for mutual attraction and honest communication in relationships, both partners taking space and time for themselves can be healthy and energizing for a couple. If you give away too much about yourself on the very first date, the other person may show signs of discomfort or even indifference. This is the result of a dating practice called floodlighting, where you overshare, perhaps about childhood challenges or work woes, and anticipate immediate emotional reciprocity. When you reveal everything upfront, you risk overwhelming the other person, or worse, letting them define you too quickly. But when you share yourself in layers, you create space for curiosity. You invite them in to pay attention and earn each piece of the puzzle that you are. You don't have to be inauthentic to build intimacy. However, sharing details about yourself with time gives you a chance to choose what to reveal, when and to whom, and ensure that access to you lies with the right person. By being intentional with what you share and how you engage, you not only build intrigue, but also show emotional maturity. Remember that in the art of connection, sometimes the most seductive thing you can do is leave something to imagination. Are you self-aware enough to notice when you're oversharing? Take this science-backed test to find out: Self-Awareness Outcomes Questionnaire
CNA
6 days ago
- Health
- CNA
Why your brain can't let go of unfinished tasks, even something as minor as a half-written email
Sometimes when I'm not working, I find that I still am – in my head. I could be at home, chilling on the sofa while watching an episode of The White Lotus, a TV series on HBO Max. But somewhere in the background of my brain, some quiet thoughts are gnawing at me: I haven't finished the legwork for my upcoming article. There are emails I need to reply to, and ideas I should jot down lest I forget about them before my next meeting. And it's not just work. The undone chores around my home sometimes whisper, too: the laundry that hasn't been folded, the dishes still in the sink, the text messages from friends I meant to reply to this morning. None of these tasks would be categorised as extremely urgent. Some aren't even that important. But in those pockets of rest, they surface again and again, making it hard to truly disengage from brain from my responsibilities and enjoy my leisure activity. It's as if my brain doesn't fully trust the idea of doing nothing or getting a complete rest. It seems that many of us carry the weight of unfinished tasks like invisible backpacks, even in our downtime. So why can't we let go of undone things, no matter how small they are? Why do work tasks cling to our minds long after we've logged off? Curious about whether something like this has been explored in psychology, I did some research and found that psychologists have a name for this – the Zeigarnik effect. It is our brain's tendency to keep reminding us about unfinished tasks more than those we've completed. That's why some things stay 'rent-free' in your mind, because they're not done yet. HOW DOES THE ZEIGARNIK EFFECT WORK? Elaborating on the Zeigarnik effect, psychologists I spoke to said that the human brain is like a tab-hoarding browser, so the moment something is unfinished, it keeps that tab open and blinking until something is done about it. This was first observed by Russian psychologist Bluma Zeigarnik in the 1920s, after she noticed that waiters could remember complex orders only while they were in progress, but forgot them after the bills were paid. Dr Geraldine Tan, director and principal psychologist of The Therapy Room, said the effect itself is not a huge issue, and it manifests even in everyday situations. 'Let's say you have a pot of water on the stove and you need to wait for it to boil before adding in the pasta. If you forget the water is boiling, it could be disastrous,' she said. 'So sometimes, these thoughts linger because there's an element of risk or consequence involved.' Even if it's not dangerous, Dr Tan said the brain 'parks' the thought, keeps it there until it is done, though some mental effort is required. "Like when you go to the supermarket, and you hear an aunty saying, 'Oh I haven't done this, I need to go home. I need to do this, I need to do that'. Often times, this sounds like a complaint, but it's just something she's repeating to herself so she can complete her unfinished tasks." However, with how fast-paced urban life is, these 'parked' thoughts sometimes get pushed aside by other priorities. Dr Tan explained that they do not disappear – they are just displaced, until something might trigger the memory again, forcing you to get back to the task eventually. Dr Ong Mian Li, founder and principal clinical psychologist of Lightfull Psychology and Consulting Practice, said one theory behind the Zeigarnik effect is that our brains evolved from prehistoric times to prioritise potential threats or risks, also known as loss aversion. Back then, unfinished business could mean danger, such as forgetting where a predator was, he added. 'So even today, your brain throws a mental tantrum when something's unresolved, even if it's just a half-written email ... it throws up a yellow or red light.' WHILE HELPFUL FOR LEARNING, IT CAN BE DRAINING With that lingering mental itch nudging you towards completing tasks, the psychologists said that the effect has upsides in learning and working, as it functions like a built-in reminder system to help us finish what we started. Dr Tan said this is especially helpful in learning, such as how young children learning to tell time often get stuck on how the minute and hour hands relate, so the information feels incomplete. "That sense of 'I still don't get this' drives you to revise, and that's productive. If the task feels incomplete, the brain pushes you to go back to it and complete the learning." In the workplace, Dr Tan said the same effect can drive preparation, like mentally rehearsing what to say in a meeting or revisiting a task list before work. 'It's useful, but only as long as you act on it. If you don't, the weight compounds. The effect lingers in the background, draining your energy.' Ms Eunice Lim, clinical psychologist at Heartscape Psychology, said that when this happens, it could contribute to fatigue, burnout, and negative self-beliefs around competence, especially in individuals with perfectionistic tendencies. People juggling multiple roles – work, caregiving, financial stress – often feel the Zeigarnik effect more intensely, she added. Tasks start to bleed into rest time and even joyful moments can feel muted because the mind is still stuck in 'unfinished' mode, Ms Lim explained. 'The mental strain of chronic incompletion can mimic hypervigilance, where the body stays on alert because it doesn't feel safe to rest. 'For some, this shows up as difficulty falling asleep, as their minds replay what they haven't completed, what they should've done, or what still hasn't been started,' she said, adding that in some cases, it may even lead to depersonalisation, where one feels numb or emotionally disconnected as a way to cope. Dr Tan added that this effect extends beyond short-term tasks, as long-term unmet goals, such as a dream or a goal you haven't moved on from for years, can also be problematic when they loop in your head. "This can go in a few directions: You resign yourself to thinking, 'I'll never do it', or you feel like you've failed, which can cause you to spiral downward. "Or, you finally decide, 'Okay, when am I going to do this?' Then you make a plan, even if it's for later," she said, adding that the bigger the goal, the more mental space it takes up. COPING MECHANISMS AND HOW TO USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE The good news is, there are simple tips and strategies you can adopt to mentally close the loop on tasks you are unable to finish right away. The psychologists advised getting things out of your head and onto a list, which will help declutter the mind, even if you're not acting on it yet. But lists alone aren't enough. Dr Tan of The Therapy Room said that you also need to convert thoughts into behaviour, which means acting on at least one item on your list. 'Start by reprioritising. Do the things you can do. Put a clear timeline to them – once they're done, they're done,' she said. 'After that, you'll realise that things aren't so bad. And for the rest, you can throw it out if it's unnecessary, resource yourself by getting help from others, or just get started on the task.' Heartscape Psychology's Ms Lim mentioned the 'one-minute rule': if a task takes under a minute to complete, do it immediately, as this helps close small loops and prevents build-up. She also said breaking big goals into small, actionable steps goes a long way, as a single goal can sometimes feel massive and overwhelming, thus leading to avoidance. 'For example, if you have a goal of switching out of a career you are unhappy in, try 'Listing three companies I am curious about on LinkedIn' or 'Speak to a friend in that industry I am interested in'.' Dr Ong from Lightfull Psychology also noted that the Zeigarnik effect can be used to our advantage – one simple way is to start a task and intentionally leave it midway before taking a break. 'That little tension pull? It'll motivate you to come back and finish it. Writers and creatives do this all the time,' he said, adding that this is the same psychological trick behind TV cliffhangers.' Another mindhack: Just tell yourself you're going to begin a task to gently nudge yourself into action, said Dr Ong. "Chances are, your brain won't let you rest until you come back to it. This is really helpful for procrastinators." Dr Ong noted that the Zeigarnik effect is more pronounced today than it was 10 to 15 years ago. Back then, most people had just one email inbox to manage. Now, he said: 'We have six inboxes, three messaging apps, and a smartwatch reminding you that you've only done 5,000 steps.' "It's not just about how many inboxes we have, it's the sense that we're never quite done. There's always one more notification, one more ping, one more thing we could be optimising. "The modern challenge isn't just about finishing things. It's about deciding what's worth finishing. And sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is close a mental tab with a shrug and say, 'Not today, and that's okay'."
RTÉ News
27-05-2025
- General
- RTÉ News
Why your long list of unfinished work tasks takes up so much time
Analysis: Modern work environments mean an ever-growing list of unfinished tasks so what can we do to fix this and reduce stress? You might be familiar with that niggling sense that you have not finished something. It might an email you intended to send before lunch, the meeting notes you promised to circulate, or the project that is edging towards completion. These unfinished tasks often nudge us while we are in the shower, on our commute or lie in bed at night, using valuable cognitive resources that could be spent elsewhere. From RTÉ Radio 1's Brendan O'Connor Show, Senior Lecturer in Psychology Dr Trudy Meehan on why you should get rid of the to-do list The Zeigarnik Effect has been described as the tendency to remember and fixate on incomplete tasks more than completed ones. In the 1920s, a psychologist called Prof Bluma Zeigarnik observed that waiting staff remembered orders in restaurants much better when the order was unfulfilled. Once the orders were fulfilled, staff no longer remembered the details. She designed a series of experiments to test the phenomenon. Zeigarnik gave participants a series of simple tasks, such as drawing, folding and arithmetic. Some were allowed to finish the tasks and others were interrupted mid-way. Later, she asked participants to recall what they had done. Those who had been interrupted were significantly more likely to remember the details of the unfinished tasks, perhaps due to a cognitive tension that arises when we leave something undone. While the Zeigarnik Effect is intuitively compelling, research findings have been mixed over time. At best, some of us experience the Zeigarnik effect. People with a high need for achievement tend to remember unfinished tasks better, while those low in achievement need show the opposite pattern. People high in need for closure are more comfortable with ambiguity and therefore, unresolved tasks may create more stress for them. From RTÉ Radio 1's Today with Claire Byrne, workplace psychologist Patricia Murray on why you should say 'no' more at work Modern work environments offer ripe conditions for a long list of unfinished tasks to grow. Digital distractions are hard to ignore. While information is abundant, it is increasingly difficult to filter, verify, or make sense of it. Work can become fragmented as we rapidly switch between tasks. For many of us, the digital distractions, information overload and task fragmentation can stifle progress on more meaningful work tasks requiring sustained energy and attention. As human beings, our ability to pay attention is limited and selective. There is limited (if any) compelling evidence to suggest that we can successfully divide our attention across tasks. Paying attention to reminders (whether our own mental interruptions or digital banners) of unfinished tasks can draw attentional resources that could be used elsewhere. Our working memory system is also limited in capacity and there is a limit with how much information we can keep 'live' in our working memory. Thinking about the content of unfinished tasks could be using up prime mental resources and causing stress. From RTÉ Radio 1's Today with Claire Byrne, Do you put off simple tasks? You might have errand paralysis However, we can also consider how both workers and leaders can work with, rather than against, these aspects of human psychology. For many of us, it feels great to complete tasks that have been lingering. Practical solutions to achieve this may include breaking larger tasks into smaller incomplete steps and creating "open loops" on the truly important tasks to drive persistence. A daily shutdown ritual, like reviewing your to-do list and mentally 'closing the office', could reduce stress. When reviewing your unfinished task list, you should ask what can I complete quickly, delegate to others or simply delete? Leaders can use progress tracking and check-ins to relieve task-related tension and balance the drive for urgency with psychosocial risks such as reduced wellbeing or occupational burnout (of which emotional exhaustion and perceived inefficacy at work are key aspects). We should reflect on our own experience of unfinished tasks at work, and to consider adopting strategies to work with it - not against it The Zeigarnik effect began with a simple observation of everyday behaviour at work. While many factors influence our cognition, there is an opportunity for us all to reflect on our own experience of unfinished tasks at work, and to consider adopting strategies to work with it, not against it. Zeigarnik herself remained resolute in her pursuit of education, love, and the creation of new knowledge despite the great challenges, interruptions, and losses faced in her own life. As Oliver Burkeman reminds us in Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, our time is finite both in work and in life; so how will you intentionally choose your "unfinished tasks" in both work and personal life domains?
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CNA
25-05-2025
- Health
- CNA
Work It - Why unfinished tasks at work linger in your mind – and what to do about them
Work It Play Unresolved tasks can quietly build up, creating mental clutter that affects focus and well-being. CNA TODAY journalist Amanda Yeap shares what she has learnt about the science behind the Zeigarnik Effect and practical tips on how to regain control over your work life.
CNA
25-05-2025
- General
- CNA
Work It Podcast: Why unfinished tasks at work linger in your mind – and what to do about them
Unresolved tasks can quietly build up, creating mental clutter that affects focus and well-being. CNA TODAY journalist Amanda Yeap shares what she has learnt about the science behind the Zeigarnik Effect and practical tips on how to regain control over your work life. Here is an excerpt from the conversation: Tiffany Ang, host: We talked about writing lists. I think that has been very helpful for me, because I almost 'list-dump" my thoughts out of my head. I have an ideas list, I have a task list. Basically, the idea is that I just want my brain to be as free as possible. Besides lists, are there any other ways that we can use to cope with the Zeigarnik Effect? Amanda Yeap, CNA TODAY journalist: One expert broke it down like this. Once you have your list, you can decide what you want to do with each item. You either throw it out if it's no longer relevant, (or keep it) because you realise that after listing it out, not everything actually needs to be done straight away. When it's all in your mind, you just feel, 'Oh no, there are so many things.' Tiffany: Yeah, that is good point. I always thought that if it's on the list, it needs to be done. But it doesn't have to be ... Amanda: So throwing it out, outsourcing, asking for help or delegating (tasks), or even just doing it. At least you've already kickstarted the process. Maybe some tasks are so huge that it's impossible to get them done in a single step. Tiffany: That's why breaking it down into different steps helps, right? Because you know, 'Okay, at least I have completed two out of three steps, and the last step is just this.' And I can maybe move (other tasks) to the next month, or I can do this tomorrow. I don't have to do it today, but at least you kind of break it down and set goals. Otherwise, you get caught in this incessant loop of, 'Oh my goodness, am I in a matrix? It's coming back!' Amanda: Yeah, it's actually quite common that some tabs are just there in your mind, but you don't act on them, or you just procrastinate, even though it would do you some good to get the task done. To trick yourself into doing that, really, is to just start that first step ... You can also assign a timeline to yourself. Because sometimes if the to-do item is not specific, in the sense of (having a) deadline, then saying something like 'I'll do this by Friday,' is definitely more effective than, 'I need to do this sometime.'
