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Yahoo
24-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
What happens when real-life couples start filming porn
When pop culture depicts porn performers, it usually imagine individuals navigating all the oddities and opportunities of life in this scintillating world on their own. But established, real-life couples occasionally decide, whether for fun or profit, to break into the adult industry together as well. Their ranks swelled with the rise of amateur clip sites and at-home camming in the aughts — and positively exploded with the rise of OnlyFans, the mainstreaming of sex work, and the spread of (usually deceptive) stories of folks making easy money on horny internet randos. "So many people reach out to us every day, like, 'Oh my gosh, I really want to do this with my wife, but [we have] this or that hangup," says Savvy Suxx (this and subsequent links may contain NSFW material), who started making content with her partner, Alex Suxx, a few months into their relationship. "It's very common. It's really shocking." SEE ALSO: This OnlyFans model found her photos on Reddit — with someone else's face But reporting on this boom in couples content often glosses over the challenges that doing porn together can create in a relationship: The strain anti-porn stigma and blowback put on a couple when people find their content. The drain of "unsexy logistical planning," long, intense shoots. The jealousy or insecurity that may creep in when one member of a couple gets unequal fan attention, or develops a bigger solo career, leading their partner to become more of an assistant. "There's an old saying — never do business with friends or family," quips Rachel Steele, who got into porn in the aughts with her longtime partner Mike, first doing fetish shoots, then camming, and eventually launching their own clip store. "And once you turn something into work, it's no longer fun, you know? The mind has a tricky time separating intimacy on and off camera." Mike, who passed away several years ago, was a great partner in both life and business, Steele recalls. He rolled with her as she got deeper into the industry and was fine taking on an increasingly behind-the-scenes role. (He actually said it was too much work doing editing and admin and performing in shoots.) But "we worked Mondays to Fridays, doing three shoots a day," Rachel says. "By the time we were done, we were both exhausted, and we'd just fall into bed. There wasn't much [private] sex or intimacy… I was definitely missing it. I was hungry for connection… It's a challenge to try to balance." Alex acknowledges that these challenges cause tons of burnout, and even break up some couples. "We've seen it with a lot of friends and acquaintances. There are a lot of ups and downs." So what enables couples like Rachel and Mike, or Savvy and Alex, to thrive in both their careers and relationships in spite of these challenges? Mashable spoke to six successful adult content creator couples, who entered the industry in different eras and at different stages of their relationships, about their strategies — and we've identified a few key takeaways that might help not just other folks exploring porn world, but any couple interested in strengthening their bond. The mind has a tricky time separating intimacy on and off camera. - Performer Rachel Steele Serenity Cox and her husband got together in 2012 and gradually discovered and discussed their mutual interest in exhibitionism — but waited to explore that turn-on until the pandemic hit. (Cox's husband, who is not named in her content, requested anonymity for privacy reasons.) The lockdowns didn't affect their day jobs. But they took the isolation and general upheaval as a chance to try something radically new: taping themselves having sex, initially with no faces in the frame or while wearing masks, and uploading that to free platforms like Pornhub. They were surprised — and excited — by the engagement they got, and the gradual revelation that they could earn serious cash on their content. Earnings that soon outstripped their real-world salaries. But when they quit their jobs a little over a year ago, becoming full-time creators, they decided that "this is still a hobby," Cox explains, "and if it ever feels like it's becoming work, we'll stop." They only film the sex they usually have, never take off-kilter requests or do custom content for fans, and cap the amount of time and stress they devote to their work. Cox's husband calls their experience "the smooth rainbow path" that most people envision when they daydream about making adult content. And they're not the only ones to pull off this it-stays-a-hobby balance. Dave and Cherry Candle, a couple of young Euro content creators, have a similar dynamic. "If you only do this for money, then one day you're not going to enjoy it anymore," Dave argues. But Cox knows their experience is not typical. "We hate saying it was easy for us," her husband says. "Because a lot of people really struggle, really have a hard time in the industry." SEE ALSO: How to unblock porn for free All the successful creator couples Mashable spoke to — and many others who've shared their stories elsewhere — seem to have a strong exhibitionist streak, or an interest in lifestyles like swinging that often involve some show-and-tell. Most started making content for fun and for free. However, some couples who want to make content aren't comfortable sharing the kind of sex they'd have behind closed doors, because it's sexier for them to keep that private. And few have the financial security or flexibility to take or leave the monetization of their intimacy at will. The Suxxes, for example, started out "being horny on the internet together," posting content on Reddit for fun, Alex explains. Then the pandemic hit their hotel restaurant jobs, and jokes about making money on OnlyFans evolved into a real survival strategy. At first, they treated OnlyFans as a less-than-serious side hustle — and like the Coxes, only posted the stuff they personally liked to shoot together. Then random circumstance saddled them with an unexpected $10,000 bill, forcing them to treat their OnlyFans more like a business, studying metrics and churning out content to compete in an increasingly saturated market. "We started saying, 'Okay, these are the things people want to see,' not so much this is what feels good for us," Savvy explains. "It became more, 'Okay, take off your pants, I'm going to do a blowjob video now,' rather than the intimate kissing, talking, and actually connecting" to build up to content like the used to. "By 2022, the money started to pick up a bit," Alex adds. "And I think we both kind of caught the bug of, 'We should see how far we can take this,'" rather than backtrack to a hobby stance. They've since recalibrated, moving back towards "playful exploration that happens to happen with a camera nearby," as Alex puts it. But it's hard to fully escape the effects of jobifying sex. Steele urges new creators to think long and hard about how much time and bandwidth they're willing to put into their content, and how much they need to put into their relationship. Just before the pandemic, she got serious with a new partner, who also helps her produce and occasionally performs in her content. In this relationship, she's made it a point to "designate days and times that we're going to spend intimate time together." To make sure they have time and energy for sex that's about them and their bond, rather than their bottom line. Few creators Mashable spoke to are that regimented. But all spoke to the importance of making time for purely personal intimacy. "There are days when I'll be like, 'All I want to do is just have sex with you and be normal,'" says Andi Avalon, who got into porn alongside her husband "kind of accidentally" as they explored the swinger scene, started sharing content, and slowly realized they could make some money. "'Let's turn off our computers and phones and decompress.'" For some creators, turning off the camera is all it takes to shift out of work mode. They stop thinking about how to angle their bodies to show the action, Dave and Cherry explain, and turn all their focus towards their partners. But Steele's met several performers over the years who reserve certain acts just for their off-screen sex lives — anything from deep kissing to anal — as a means of walling off part of their intimate lives permanently from the pressures of work. Successful couples also stress the importance of learning to distance themselves from their fans' comments. Sure, constant engagement is the key to success for most digital creators. But "people say crazy things because of the parasocial relationships they create with you," Savvy explains, which can really sting and fester if you give them too much time or weight. "Like, 'Oh, she has sex with this person better than with her husband. I bet she really loves this person.'" "I choose to handle these negative vibes with detachment and disinterest," says Sofie Marie, who met her partner, an experienced swinger, about 11 years ago. He was open to monogamy with her, but coming from a "sheltered" background, she was curious about the lifestyle and asked to go to a few lifestyle spaces and events. This evolved into sharing bikini photos online, specifically to see what sort of comments she'd get. Which turned into nudes, then couples' content, then by 2016, a full-time couple's career running their own site. "I know who I am, and the commenter doesn't. I prefer to enjoy the compliments and let the negative energy pass." Every couple Mashable spoke to stressed the importance of frequent, honest check-ins. Savvy notes that it's easy for something small — discomfort with a brand decision, a moment of jealousy — to fester and turn into a poison not just in your work dynamic but also in your private bond. "Brutal honesty enables us to navigate relationship, business, and social issues," Marie explains. "Because we know we have each other's backs. We trust each other's hearts." "If that foundation isn't there," adds Tiffani Time, who started making content with her longtime partner Ben Fit in 2021, "then it'll show on camera as well as off." Even Goldilocks couples who only shoot the sex they'd usually have sans camera survive via solid communication, because just as industry trends shift, so do personal desires. Cox, for example, decided to do some work on her own with the major porn studio Vixen last year. Initially, she and her husband weren't considering that sort of career evolution. But the collaboration offered her access to gear and resources she couldn't secure on her own, and thus the ability to enact new fantasies she found exciting. Without a series of clear-eyed conversations, building on a strong and long-standing base of trust and communication, this shift could have upset the well-guarded boundary she and her husband set between lucrative but hobbyist exhibitionism and the lure of careerism, and thus created turmoil in their relationship. "But he and I talked about how this could actually be pretty fun," Cox explains. "And I bring those stories, those experiences home to us." Talking about insecurity and uncertainty in your intimate life can be difficult even for the closest couples, if you lack the right vocabulary or space to recognize a new issue or emotion. Working through career stress can be equally challenging. So when smashing the two topics together, "therapy is highly recommended," says Steele. Savvy and Alex note they started couples therapy early on in their career. "If we hadn't been talking things through in therapy, we probably would've burnt out during 2023," when Savvy's career was diversifying and thriving, Alex says. Brutal honesty enables us to navigate relationship, business, and social issues. - Performer Sofie Marie If the traits and strategies that help couples break into and navigate the adult world sound a lot like the skills that help every couple navigate the wider world, well, Dave says, they are. When you monetize intimacy, he explains, awareness, balance, and communication are just more important than usual — vital skills for survival rather than best practices for relationship health. But if you keep your relationship healthy, and your public career and personal intimacy in a solid equilibrium, then the creators Mashable spoke to believe doing porn can enhance the bond you shared before. It encourages communication and rewards trust. And it opens couples up to new acts and experiences, fostering experimentation and unearthing new sources of mutual joy. "We've become more sexual," Avalon says of her personal dynamic. "We've learned more about what we like and don't. How we move our bodies is different… we show off what we learn." And for the exhibitionists, the voyeurs, and the swingers, it most certainly feeds their kink. "I like to see my partner showing off with other people," Avalon adds. "When I have sex with other people, I love my girlfriend more," adds Dave. "I don't know how to explain it. Maybe some psychologist can?"
WIRED
13-05-2025
- Entertainment
- WIRED
Your Favorite Porn Stars Are Sick of Being Censored. But They're Not Going Away
May 13, 2025 7:00 AM We spent the Pornhub Awards with some of the site's biggest stars to talk censorship, making money, dating apps, and the rise of trans porn—all while the site is blocked in more than a third of US states. Natassia Dreams, Jordan Firstman, Asa Akira and Queenie Sateen arriving at The 7th Annual Porn Hub Awards. Photograph: Skye Battles Asa Akira doesn't want your teenager learning about sex from her videos any more than you do. 'It's devastating to me that someone's first experience of sex could be a gang-bang scene of mine. Like, that's not OK,' says Akira, 40, from inside a spacious villa at the Sunset Marquis hotel in West Hollywood, where she and other adult stars are getting their hair and makeup done for the seventh annual Pornhub Awards at the nearby Saddle Ranch Chop House. The suite, which features a grand piano currently topped with different styles of fake eyelashes, has the distinct slightly burnt smell of recently straightened hair. A TV plays music videos by Lady Gaga and Avril Lavigne—I'm told a Katy Perry track was mocked relentlessly earlier in the day. Akira, a 5'2'' titan of the industry who according to the Internet Adult Film Database has appeared in more than 900 adult films, understands the concerns about minors looking at porn, but she doesn't think it's a problem for her industry to solve. More so, she thinks it's a societal issue that should be addressed with more practical sex education. Asa Akira at the Sunset Marquis hotel. Photograph: Skye Battles 'If we had better sex ed, young people would not look to porn as education, just like they don't look to a movie to learn how to act in the world … When it comes to sex, or even being nude, we talk about it so little. Of course, when they're naturally curious at a certain age, the only thing to look at right now is porn, and of course they're gonna look.' They might have a harder time looking these days, depending on where they live. Last week, the Arizona House of Representatives passed a bill requiring adult websites to verify that their visitors are at least 18. If signed into law by Governor Katie Hobbs, Arizona will become the 21st state to pass a similar measure since Louisiana started the trend in 2022. But in most cases, rather than rely on third-party services to collect people's identification data, Pornhub has opted to remove its content from the impacted jurisdictions, meaning it is no longer available in at least 17 states. Alex Kekesi, vice president of brand and community for Pornhub, says the site agreed to verify user ages in Louisiana, but it resulted in an 80 percent drop in traffic because people didn't want to hand over their IDs. While Kekesi says Pornhub is in favor of preventing minors from watching porn, the company doesn't believe these bans are the right way to go about it. Still, Pornhub remains one of the most visited websites in the world, which shows that the consumption of pornography, despite being controversial, is in fact extremely mainstream. From left to right: Jordan Firstman, Asa Akira, Queenie Sateen, Elly Clutch, and Alex Kekesi Photograph: Skye Battles WIRED spent a day in Los Angeles with Akira and several of Pornhub's other biggest stars as they got ready for and attended the awards show. The event was Western-themed, in spite—or perhaps because—of the fact that most of the age-verification legislation in the US is coming from the southern states. The stars in attendance discussed how social media censorship and Pornhub's greatly reduced footprint are impacting their bottom lines, the pros and cons of shooting 'mainstream' studio porn versus self-publishing their own videos, the struggles of online dating, and celebrating transgender porn—a category that's been steadily rising in popularity—under a presidential administration that is openly hostile to trans bodies. 'In my kids' eyes, I am a stay-at-home mom.' Last week, US senator Mike Lee, a Utah Republican, introduced a bill that would criminalize pornography federally. 'Obscenity isn't protected by the First Amendment, but hazy and unenforceable legal definitions have allowed extreme pornography to saturate American society and reach countless children,' Lee stated in a press release promoting the Interstate Obscenity Definition Act. The bill targets 'actual or simulated sexual acts with the objective intent to arouse, titillate, or gratify the sexual desires of a person' and content that 'lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.' A hidden-camera video published last year by the British nonprofit Centre for Climate Reporting showed Project 2025 coauthor Russell Vought saying the age-verification laws were a 'back door' way of enacting a federal porn ban. 'We've got a number of states that are passing this and, you know, what happens is the porn company then says, 'We're not going to do business in your state,' which of course is entirely what we were after, right?' said Vought, a Christian nationalist who is now head of the federal government's Office of Management and Budget. The age-verification laws have resulted in lawsuits, both from state governments suing website operators for allegedly failing to comply and from adult entertainment groups suing states for violating free speech laws. The US Supreme Court is currently reviewing a Texas case, which could have huge implications for the future of age-verification laws. These measures appear to be, at least in part, ideologically motivated as part of a larger push for Americans to return to ultra-traditional Christian values, have lots of kids, and embrace old-school gender roles. The funny thing is, when I ask Akira how she balances a porn career with being a mother of a 4-year-old and a 6-year-old, she says her job has actually allowed her to be around her kids all the time. 'In my kids' eyes, I am a stay-at-home mom,' she says, sitting in front of a six-foot-tall mirror, her glittery turquoise eyeshadow popping in contrast to the baggy gray T-shirt and sweats she has on. 'I'm kind of worried that they're not gonna understand the concept of work, because I'm home when they are.' Akira's own parents are Japanese immigrants, but because they are both creatives, she says they weren't as strict on her as one might expect. Still, they did send her to private school, and while supportive, 'they would literally rather have me do anything else in the world,' she says, laughing. Queenie Sateen and Asa Akira arriving at The 7th Annual Porn Hub Awards. Photograph: Skye Battles When she and her husband decided to start their own family, around seven years ago, she stopped shooting scenes with partners because it's too time consuming. Plus, her husband would be too jealous, she adds. 'There's no way he could handle it,' she says. Though she's open with her kids about where babies come from and the proper names for private parts, they're too young to understand what she does for a living, so she tells them she's a video producer. 'I don't want to lie to them, you know. And I'm hoping that I'm laying all the building blocks so that when the time comes when it's appropriate to tell them, I can be like, 'Oh, well, you know how I make videos—they're only for grown-ups,'' Studio porn vs. self-published videos Akira started out as a dominatrix in her native New York City at age 19 before moving into adult films. Initially, she mostly did movies shot by studios, and got off on it. Asa Akira at the Sunset Marquis hotel. Photograph: Skye Battles 'Being on set, people watching me … You and the other performer are forcing this chemistry to make this product that people are going to jerk off to. All of that to me is hot.' But self-publishing solo videos on Pornhub or OnlyFans, as she now does, means she gets to keep a much bigger cut. 'There are people who make millions a month on OnlyFans,' she says, though she won't disclose her own earnings. At the height of her studio career, she was earning up to $4,000 for some threesome scenes, but she says studio performers don't typically see any additional money beyond what they make on the day of the shoot. Fellow Pornhub ambassador Queenie Sateen, who is up for the award of top lesbian performer, has only been in the game for three years, and has primarily done studio porn—'it's more glamorous,' she says. She admits that having focused less on developing a massive OnlyFans audience may have been to her detriment. But even that's not fail-proof. She says the top self-published earners she knows are seeing 'big, big decreases in their subscribers.' She's also heard about some studios using AI clauses in fine print that would allow them to use actors' likenesses to create scenes they didn't perform, another possible threat to their bottom line, in addition to potentially being unethical. Queenie Sateen at the Sunset Marquis hotel. 'There's peaks and valleys, and I feel like we're in a valley,' she says. As a musician, she says she's considered a 're-pivot' in that direction if porn continues to be less lucrative. Akira chimes in that her primary source of income has varied over the years, from strip club tours to Snapchat Premium subscriptions to her branded fleshlight. Frequent social media bans and censorship don't make things easier. Akira, who is nominated for favorite social media personality, is on her seventh Instagram account because she says Instagram shut down the previous six. To avoid further scrutiny, her current account is so heavily sanitized 'that it's practically fraudulent.' Pornhub itself was kicked off Instagram, where it had over 13 million followers, in the fall of 2022. 'It hurts my feelings on a personal level,' Akira says. 'On a business level, it makes things very, very hard. It's hard to sell sex when you can't promote it on any type of mainstream platform.' Natassia Dreams, who is nominated for favorite trans model, is on her 16th Instagram account. As a Black trans star, she says being 'one of the most marginalized on top of the marginalized, marginalized, marginalized in all of the fields, it's really special to have these moments and lift each other up.' Dreams got into porn in 2004 because it felt safer than escorting. But it hasn't been easy, even with trans porn growing in viewership—there's data suggesting it's especially popular in red states—and being recognized for more awards. (Pornhub had five trans categories this year, after adding a new one in 2024.) She attributes it to an increase in fluidity around gender and attraction across the culture, but says trans characters in mainstream porn are often fetishized for the male gaze. Natassia Dreams at the Sunset Marquis hotel. 'I just feel like they don't want to project the trans woman as a beautiful woman, because it's in their fantasy. They want to keep a trans woman as that little dirty secret,' she says, adding that she wants to see more trans writers and directors, along with more romantic storylines. While all of the women have their 'no lists'—sex acts they won't do—Akira says it's a privilege to be able to turn down work. It's a luxury she didn't always have. When she started out, 'I built my name on shooting Asian fetish content.' When she still shot with men, her no list ended up including reverse cowgirl because it's uncomfortable. Sateen's? 'No mommy shit.' Dreams, meanwhile, says her no list includes a man she shot with for 11 years. One of the job's occupational hazards, she says, is catching feelings for someone who is great in bed. 'You're building this relationship but then it's like, OK, this is just work.' On the flip side, being on dating apps like Raya, is 'very frustrating.' 'People expect that you're like this person they've seen in the videos.' Showtime After six hours of hair, makeup, salads, and getting into Western costumes designed by Chris Habana, who has outfitted and accessorized stars like Beyoncé and Rihanna, it's almost showtime. Akira wears a baby blue dress made of belts, Sateen is in chaps, and Dreams dons a floor-length purple fur coat lined with cash. The three of them and a handful of other stars storm the Sunset Marquis' hallways and grounds to take a million sexually charged family-photo-style pics, as non-Pornhub-affiliated hotel guests gape in confusion. Then they pile into a party bus and continue to pose for paparazzi-style photos as they clamor out into the night. Natassia Dreams, Asa Akira, Queenie Sateen, Jordan Firstman, Alex Kekesi, Elly Cultch, Jak Hammer, and designer Chris Habana on the red carpet at The 7th Annual Porn Hub Awards. Photograph: Skye Battles A woman on the sidewalk outside Saddle Ranch asks her friend who these people are. 'Those are the people your friends jerk off too,' her friend responds. The Saddle Ranch has a red carpet, set against a wall of bounty-hunter-style 'wanted' posters depicting famous porn stars. It's an informal affair—90 percent just a party, with stars like Kim Petras and Diplo in attendance. There's a mechanical bull, a giant banana mascot in a bandana and cowboy hat, and gift bags with weed gummies. Host and comedian Jordan Firstman hands out the awards, which go by quickly, with acceptance speeches featuring lines like, 'Thank you for everybody in this room who has fucked me so good.' The only speech I catch that approaches a political message comes from Girthmaster, an Aussie who ties for 'best dick' with Spanish performer Jordi El Niño Polla. Jordi El Niño, and Girthmaster recieiving their awards from host Jordan Firstman. Photograph: Skye Battles 'I guess this is another reason immigrants are good,' the 6'6'' Girthmaster says, to loud cheers. Perhaps the most surprising aspect is that it's pretty tame, sexually speaking. Firstman, who tells me he's been to Pornhub after-parties in the past and noticed a distinct lack of orgies, has a possible explanation. 'I think it's like when you have sex for a living, the work events tend to be more social than turned up.' Akira says for her the night is about celebrating sex positivity at a time when that's getting harder to come by. Then she gets a little defiant. 'I'm 40 years old. I can do whatever I want with my pussy. It's kind of sad that that's radical.'
News.com.au
12-05-2025
- Entertainment
- News.com.au
Bum-baring trend takes over porn event
It's the adult industry's night of nights, with a clear fashion trend emerging among the adult stars that really puts on a raunchy display. Zoey Digiacomo wore a sheer outfit that made wearing underwear impossible, and she paired it with a diamante studded bra and hat. Picture: BACKGRID Gal Richie, who recently won AVN's Best New Starlet, was also at the event. She wore a floor length dress with a dramatic thigh-high split that flashed her black boots. Picture: BACKGRID Popular DJ Diplo was at the event and was pictured with Kazumi. Picture: BACKGRID Lena the Plug, who won the Top Solo Performer award on the night, wore a fringe detail dress that showed glimpses of her skin. Picture: BACKGRID Elly Clutch, who was also an award winner on the night, pictured with Jak Knife. Jak won Most Popular Male Peformer. Picture: BACKGRID Alexis Fawx also went for the denim chaps look. Picture: BACKGRID Lexi Lore covered her nipples and wore denim shorts for the event. Picture: BACKGRID Adult content creators came out in droves and all adhered to the dress code. Picture: Instagram/@kazumii It had a country Western theme and was held at Saddle Ranch restaurant on Sunset Boulevard. Picture: Instagram/@kazumii The awards show was hosted by Jordan Firstman, who is an actor and comedian. Picture: Instagram/@loveisbailey Many of the world's most popular porn stars were in attendance, including Asa Akira, Kazumi, Jewelz Blu, Elly Clutch, Zoey Digiacomo, Scarlett Alexis, Angela White, Amari Anne, Nicole Kitt, Alexis Fawx, Aria Nathaniel, Brooke Candy, Natassia Dreams, Queenie Sateen and Love Bailey. Picture: Instagram/@queeniesateen Jak Knife, Girthmasterr, Max Fills, JustGeorge, Kai, Damon Dice and Austin Spears were some of the male performers who attended the evening. Picture: Instagram/@jakknife Girthmasterr, an Australian adult content creator, took home the coveted award of the best penis on the internet. Picture: Instagram/@girthmasterr There were even some celebrities who swung by, most notably Diplo, who rubbed shoulders with the X-rated stars. Picture: Instagram/@arinathanial Aussie star Angela White won two trophies on the night including Most Popular Female Performer for the second year in a row. Picture: Instagram/@theangelawhite The raunchy actresses and actors were decked out in cowboy boots and hats, off the back of Coachella. Picture: Instagram/@ellyclutch Lena the Plug shared on Instagram that she was grateful to be nominated for the Best Solo Performer of the year, and said had no idea she had even been selected for the category. Picture: Instagram/@lenatheplug Jewelzblu wore a denim-on-denim set with a matching blue wig. Picture: Instagram/@onlyjewelzblu Like any good party, there was a mechanical bull for the guests to have a go on. Picture: Instagram/@queeniesateen Pals caught up at the party including Love Bailey and Kim Petras. Picture: Instagram/@loveisbailey Many of the stars took to their social media to share what they got up to after the event, such as kicking on at people's houses in hot tubs or swinging by burger joints for a late night feed. Picture: Instagram/@theangelawhite
Daily Mail
11-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Former male stripper reveals why he ditched his 'partying' lifestyle to join a monastery in Thailand
A former male stripper shared how he ditched his drug-fueled partying lifestyle to live one dedicated to peace and meditation. Ashley Edelman said he was struggling to find himself after he left his native Australia and first got a job in Cornwell, in southwest England, as a male stripper. Then he eventually joined a monastery in Thailand. 'I had been in the Army since I was 17 and always struggled with confidence, but back then, drinking masked my social anxiety,' he recounted in a piece for Newsweek. 'So when I got the chance to strip, I thought, "I used to get naked for a laugh in the Army for free - I may as well get paid for it."' Soon, Edelman said he got a gig performing in one of the United Kingdom's largest touring strip shows - impressing even his parents with their choreographed routines. But as Edelman became more and more successful, he said he started bodybuilding - and took steroids and other drugs. 'It was part of the lifestyle,' he explained. 'Cocaine, weed, partying - it all blurred together. But it wasn't sustainable. 'Eventually I burned out,' Edelman said, writing that he hit rock bottom in 2018. At that point, Edelman decided to quit the stripper business. But when his marriage ended four years later, he 'returned briefly' to the adult industry 'but something didn't feel right. 'I felt like I was selling my soul,' he said, noting that he did not regret his time in the adult industry. 'It served its purpose - but over time, I started pushing my own boundaries just for money,' he admitted. 'That's when everything began to shift. 'I started exploring breathwork, personal development and spirituality,' Edelman shared - noting that the path led him to iMONASTERY in Chiang Mai, Thailand, where he spent a month living like a monk with no phone or music. He woke up every day at 4am, chanted, did chores and attended Dharma classes. 'I had profound spiritual experiences, including visions - or what I call "downloads" - that told me I was meant to move to Dubai and be a grounding presence for others,' Edelman wrote. It wound up being kismet, as two days after he left the monastery, he learned he had to vacate his home. 'It all aligned effortlessly,' he said. Edelman now lives in the Middle East, where he says he meditates daily, host breathwork sessions, coach clients, help people regulate their nervous systems and 'remove limiting beliefs.' 'I live in zero resistance,' Edelman wrote. ' I feel calm, grounded and self-aware in a way I never imagined possible.' To maintain his new carefree lifestyle, the former stripper said he stayed off social media for six months - and only returned in April 2024, when he said he made a promise to himself that he would only post 'when it truly aligned with who I am today.' Now, Edelman has more than 147,000 followers on Instagram, where he says shares his story to inspire others. 'So many people suffer in silence. They think they're alone. But we all go through the same things in different ways and transformation is possible,' he wrote. 'I used to live a life most men dreamed of - fast-paced, wild, seductive. Now I live a life rooted in service,' Edelman concluded. He said he wants to return to the monastery in Thailand each year, 'but I know I'm not meant to live there full time. 'My mission is not to serve myself, but to serve others. 'Everything I went through - every show, every mistake, every revelation - led me here,' he wrote.
