Latest news with #agingparents
Yahoo
4 days ago
- Health
- Yahoo
My husband and I took our kids and parents on a bucket list trip. It was so worth it.
My husband and I are part of the sandwich generation, raising little kids and caring for parents. We realized that it was time to do those bucket list trips we had all been waiting for. The trip was over a year and my dad still raves about it. When you first have kids, lots of well-meaning (or obnoxious) folks will tell you, "The days are long but the years are short." What no one tells you is that this also applies to our parents. As part of the sandwich generation raising young children while also seeing our parents age and all the ups and downs that accompany that, that adage now hits hard. Both my dad and my husband's parents are now in their 80s, while our youngest child is 6. When we were in the throes of new parenthood and trying to figure out how to juggle two full-time commuting jobs with day care, daily life, and everything in between, the thought of trying to plan a multigenerational vacation honestly probably never occurred to us. Sure, there were the little weekend trips here and there, but as it became clear our parents were aging, we started wondering about those bucket list experiences they'd always wanted to do with their grandkids that everyone just kept putting off year after year because life is always too busy and time always goes way too fast. We'd taken for granted that our parents were relatively healthy, mobile, and active. As someone who lost my mom at 29, I was always highly aware that life is short and we should take our opportunities while able. Even with that knowledge, the years flew by. For my dad, the bucket list dream he'd always talked about was taking all of his kids and grandkids to South Korea, where he was born, and introducing us to the remaining aunts and uncles of his eight siblings that we'd never met, along with a particular request to rent traditional Korean clothes (hanboks) and wear them for family pictures. He was already over 80, which seems to mean you just never know if there will be a bad fall or serious health issues at any given moment. Basically, the time to go was yesterday, so after chatting with my younger siblings, we got moving. While planning a multigenerational trip that involves five adults with their own schedules and three young kids to another country is no small feat, we managed to make it happen — and I'm forever grateful we did. One of the primary challenges was finding places to stay that allowed room for everyone and thanks to an amazing traditional Korean house, called a hanok, my brother found on AirBnB and another spacious multi-room condo Airbnb, we were able to be together but still have some space to spread out, which I would argue is essential with a trip with multiple family members. I'll never forget meeting aunts and uncles for the first time and my kids will talk about all the things we did together with their grandfather and uncles and beg to go back. While the trip was now over a year ago, but dad still raves about it. I made him a photo book to remember the trip and it wasn't all the sightseeing we did or delicious food we ate he remembers, it was just the time spent together. Fast-forward a year later and we were able to make another parent's dream trip with their grandchildren come true. My mother-in-law is a lifelong equestrian and had often brought up wanting to take a trail ride with the entire family at a ranch. At the time, many of the grandkids were too young to ride, but this past year seemed like the perfect time. We headed off to the gorgeous Alisal Ranch in Santa Ynez for a memorable girls-only trip, from Grandma to the six-year-old. It was clearly a property meant for family reunions and multigenerational vacations. The cabin we stayed in had a clever Murphy bunk bed, couch bed, and spacious bedroom for Grandma to rest comfortably. It was a slower pace of trip that appealed to both young and old. Sitting on the porch watching horses meandering around while the sunsets will always remain a highlight, as will the friendly goats in the barn the kids went back day after day to pet. Eating each meal together and just hanging out is basically what any grandparent really wants, and we had that in spades. The trip culminated in a wonderful morning horse ride to a "cowboy breakfast" (the youngest and I went in a wagon instead). The all-inclusive nature of the property made it a super easy no-fuss planning process and everyone got to do what they wanted, whether it was just running around the expansive lawn, making crafts in the kids' art room, or playing ping-pong and roasting s'mores with Grandma. If you're like me and have been sitting around wondering when to make a special trip with the grandparents happen, the answer is now. None of us are getting any younger, and it's such a precious window when everyone is healthy enough, the kids are willing and able, and you have the opportunity to make literal dreams come true. There will never be a perfect time when work or extracurricular activities don't have to get rearranged but trust me, it's not something you'll ever regret. Read the original article on Business Insider
Forbes
29-05-2025
- General
- Forbes
Who Is Taking Care Of Our Elders?
Many families face the task of figuring out how to get help at home for their aging loved ones. Typically, we at giving advice to families, see the daughter or daughter-in-law taking the lead on the effort. As no one teaches us how to do this in school, it is sometimes a daunting task to figure out what all the 'non-medical'agencies and other sources of help actually offer by way of home care workers. The word 'nurse' is used by the public to suggest that that is the caregiver they're looking for. But skilled nursing is expensive, and for long term care at home, Medicare does not pay for skilled nursing. Only licensed home health agencies offer skilled nursing, generally together with physical therapy, occupational and speech therapy. Short term help with skilled care is sometimes offered after a family member had a stroke, for example, and is being discharged from a hospital or 'rehab' facility, also called a skilled nursing facility. Once the patient has reached what they call 'maximum rehab potential' with these skilled services at home, Medicare cuts off payment and services end. This care may last a few weeks only. What is 'non-medical' care at home? Care at home Individual providers and home care agencies, which do not provide any skilled nursing or skilled therapies may offer a variety of worker types. They may be classified as follows: 1. Certified Nursing Assistants. These folks are trained to work in skilled nursing facilities if they choose to do so. They know how to take blood pressure and other vital signs and work in a team. Different states have different qualifications, but usually the CNA has at least a few weeks of training to become certified. 2. Certified Home Health Aides. Like CNAs, HHAs have specific training to work in the home setting, and expect to do so. Certification of any kinds sets this worker a little apart from any uncertified worker, because the training is specific and standardized in the state. 3. Dementia-trained home care workers. Caring for individuals with dementia can present specific challenges. Behavior may be difficult. Aggressive verbal or physical outbursts, wandering, sleeping during the day and being awake all night are some examples. Training for workers to manage dementia-related issues is not standardized. Typically, if an agency holds itself out as offering dementia trained workers, it will charge a higher hourly rate for this. One seeking this kind of worker needs to ask a lot of questions about the qualification and training of any worker offered. 4. Home care workers, general. This is the most common kind of help people hire for an elder at home. They assist with things we call 'activities of daily living' (ADLs), which means walking, bathing, toileting, dressing, eating and getting from bed to chair and back. Some workers took care of an elder in their own families and that is their only training. Others have had in person or online courses in home care. And some have little to no formal training. If you need to keep costs down, this level worker tends to be less expensive on an hourly basis compared with those certified or specially trained, but it does have risks. 5. Companion care workers. These are folks who do not help with ADLs but offer socialization, transportation, and may do cooking and shopping and other tasks with or for the person in need. This level of care is also available through many home care, non-medical agencies. It is a way to prevent social isolation. It's company, conversation and someone to take your elder to enjoyable events. You have to know what to ask for if this lower level of need is what your elder requires. It typically costs less than someone who assists an elder with ADLs. In summary, it can be daunting to figure out what the elder can afford, what kind of worker will be best and where to find the right person to assist your loved one. However, by giving a clear description of what your elder needs to those who offer services, and by asking the right questions, you can find a match. Prevent Pitfalls in Hiring It is critical that you or your elder hire right. For guidance on avoiding mistakes, see my book, Hiring A Home Care Worker: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? It draws on my years of being an RN who visited people at home all day and in training and supervising home care workers myself. You want to be able to understand the risks of having an unknown person with an elder, probably unsupervised, for many hours. If you are considering getting help for a family member with dementia, be particularly cautious about protecting the vulnerable person from abuse.
Forbes
19-05-2025
- Health
- Forbes
The Silent Connection: Hearing Loss And Dementia Risk
When you speak to your aging parent, do they keep saying, 'what?' Do they answer with something that is not what you asked? These are hints that hearing loss may be a problem. Typically, it gradually gets worse over time. And perhaps you have noticed that when anyone suggests hearing aids, there is resistance. That annoying thing of having to repeat yourself to an aging loved one who didn't hear you is not just an inconvenience. It can also be a sign of increased risk for cognitive decline and dementia. According to numerous studies, adults with even mild hearing loss face an increased risk of developing dementia compared to those with normal hearing. The risk increases for those with moderate hearing loss and becomes significantly higher for those with severe untreated hearing impairment. Hearing loss can increase dementia risk Academic researchers report identified hearing loss as the largest potentially modifiable risk factor for dementia—responsible for about 8% of dementia cases. That's a higher percentage than more widely recognized risk factors like smoking or depression. What is different about hearing loss from many other risk factors for dementia is that in most cases, it can be fixed or improved quickly with devices. We can't say the same for risk factors like obesity, diabetes, unhealthy diet or sedentary lifestyle. Scientists have proposed several mechanisms that might explain this connection: We may all know someone who has an obvious hearing loss who doesn't seem to recognize it. It gets politely mentioned but the elder won't acknowledge this. We also know that a lot of aging parents may be told they have a problem hearing but they refuse to get hearing aids. Then there's the issue of having hearing aids but not wearing them or frequently losing them. To some, a hearing aid shows 'I'm old.' Not for me, they think. Here are a few things that work for others and have worked in our own family with my mother-in-law, at age 87 who definitely had an untreated hearing loss.
