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Noel Edmonds's health regime might seem bonkers, but he looks incredible at 76
If you're not watching ITV's Noel Edmonds' Kiwi Adventure, please make your way to the television immediately you've finished reading this. The television presenter, who was essentially one of the most famous men in Britain throughout most of our lives, has started again in New Zealand, and there's a documentary film crew there to capture all the thrilling vicissitudes.
It's Edmonds's can-do optimism versus all manner of locally produced adversity. There's lots to see: the majestic landscape, his innuendo-strewn pub, the gigantic estate, but easily the most compelling sight is the former TV star's athletic 76-year-old body. Edmonds is a walking miracle.
He gasps with perfect comic timing as he's hit by the freezing water from his shower nozzle. I'm a health journalist and former editor of Men's Health, and it is impossible not to be impressed by his muscular torso (and leonine head of hair). I hate cold showers. They bring to mind the shabby rental flats of my youth. But if Edmonds takes them, I'm in.
This is Edmonds' recipe for vitality, and we are invited to watch him demonstrate it. Some of it is at the more 'committed' end of alternative therapy, some of it more mainstream. He claims to have 'cracked the code' to better health with a six-pillar wellness routine made up of these six components:
1) Structured water
2) Pulsed electromagnetism field therapy (PEMF)
3) Tranquil power (a form of slow exercise)
4) VIBE (Visualisation of Body Energy)
5) Meditation
6) Nutrition
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As a 61-year-old man on the right side of fit, I watch Edmonds in action, performing his wellness routine – sometimes using layman's terms and sometimes giving the activities Noel-speak names – and have two competing voices in my head. The first deeply sceptical, the second just, 'Doesn't he look incredible?' on repeat. We might think the 76-year-old is bonkers – but are there some lessons to be learnt? I think so.
1) Structured water
Edmonds swears by this water in which, advocates claim, the molecular structure has been altered to enhance its effects. For believers, the water is altered by being magnetised. The science on this one is weak. Studies are inconclusive or have questionable methodology. He claims it is water in its purest form and is more easily absorbed by the body.
For a take on this less mainstream advice, I turn to a woman who is a wholehearted believer in alternative therapies and the antidote to my science-obsessed cynicism. Sarah Jones St John is the founder of the Grey Wolfe wellness facility in Barnes, London, that provides many of the approaches that Edmonds has installed in his New Zealand home.
'Structured water carries a clear, life-friendly pattern. Drinking it with intention helps every cell stay vibrant and well-hydrated,' she says.
Structured water machines retail for just under £300, and having neither Edmonds' wealth or faith, I'm unlikely to invest, however, I aim for 2.5 litres of water a day as a 70kg active man.
2) Pulsed electromagnetic field therapy (PEMF)
When not drinking the special water, the former TV presenter attaches himself to a pad that generates pulses of electromagnetism. Edmonds claims it helps his cells work properly. There is some science to this one. I found a study carried out in Taiwan into the pain-relieving benefits of PEMF found it did indeed have an effect on patients suffering shoulder issues: 'PEMF therapy significantly improved short-term pain scores and both short-term and long-term functional capacity in patients with shoulder impingement syndrome.'
St John's take? 'PEMF magnetic waves simply echo the earth's natural pulse, resetting our own bio-electric field so we feel energised and balanced.'
3) Tranquil power
Edmonds was awarded Heat magazine's 'Torso of the Week' slot earlier this month. While not a peer-reviewed academic paper, at 76, that's data I find hard to ignore. And when you see the former presenter of Multi-Coloured Swap Shop in his home gym, the work that goes into his award-winning physique is impressive.
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Inside, we see him practising his 'tranquil power' lifting technique. It seems to be Edmonds's version of 'Time under tension training' – an entirely legitimate approach to strength work. Edmonds slows down each movement and pauses during the really tough part. Taking time over the whole process is proven to be effective, and the increased mental focus is also beneficial.
With research published in the Strength and Conditioning Journal suggesting that 'mechanical tension, metabolic stress, and muscle damage are increased when the exerciser focuses their attention,' Noel is definitely onto something here, as these are the factors that boost muscle size, which becomes increasingly important with age.
Personal trainer Matt Roberts agrees: 'Whether we like it or not, midlife comes with a battle against muscle loss and hormone changes that make new challenges appear seemingly out of the blue. Good muscular strength is the number one goal for everyone – period. Without it, there is a knock-on effect on your entire body. Muscular strength affects your bones, skin, gut, brain and hormone system.'
4) Nutrition
It's worth saying that a session of tranquil power will not make you slim and athletic like Edmonds unless your diet is part of your plan. Noel is yet to reveal much detail about his nutrition regime, but we gather he's a meal skipper. Which, with countless studies nodding to the benefits of fasting, is a great way to manage calories if you can handle the hunger. He avoids processed foods and acidic foods like meat, eggs and favours fruit and vegetables, nuts, seeds and pulses.
5) VIBE (visualisation of body energy)
Building on the mind-management techniques, he employs VIBE, a Noel-speak acronym. Visualisation is a technique that involves imagining a desired outcome in as much sensory detail as possible. There have been studies into the positive effects of visualisation, and Cancer Research UK quotes a 2016 study that suggested it helped people cope with treatment side effects.
One of the more memorable moments in episode one is where we see our protagonist lying on a bed under an array of crystals, wearing headphones and meditating. The effect is very science fiction; Edmonds looks set to wake up on a distant planet.
There's no science to confirm crystals' power to heal, but they appear to have a real air of magic suspended over the former Deal or No Deal presenter. It's not entirely clear how the crystal bed is believed to work, but it appears to be connected to what he calls 'body energy systems'.
6) Meditation
I can't quite bring myself to turn to crystals. But when it comes to meditation – Noel's final pillar – I'm on board because there are countless studies that speak to its benefits. A meta study carried out in 2013 in California into the effects of transcendental meditation (TM) on people with anxiety found, 'TM practice is more effective than treatment as usual and most alternative treatments, with greatest effects observed in individuals with high anxiety'.
It's been a long time since I tried meditation, but seeing Noel drift off under his array of illuminated crystals, I lay somewhat guiltily on my bed and attempted a 15-minute guided inner journey that I found on Spotify. The first five minutes are just my own mind thinking: 'Am I meditating yet?', but I'm fairly sure I did eventually find some true moments of stillness.
The verdict
Ultimately, Noel's formula for health and longevity is a mix. If you're someone who waits for definitive evidence, much of what he does probably isn't for you.
It's hard to separate the effectiveness of Noel's techniques from the power of his belief in them. I can't say I'll be lying on a crystal bed any time soon, but I will be attempting to emulate some of his positive energy and dedication. There is something irresistible about his vigour and optimism - and it helps that he looks extremely good for his age.
The bio-hacking equipment included in Noel's wellness plan
Pulsed electromagnetic field (PEMF) therapy
Pulsed electromagnetic field (PEMF) therapy is a non-invasive form of therapy where low-frequency electromagnetic pulses are applied to a targeted part of the body for a short period of time. You can stand or lie on a PEMF pad, depending on its size.
Infrared sauna
Unlike a traditional sauna, which heats the air around you, an infrared sauna emits rays of light that warm up the body directly. The heat penetrates deeper into the skin while the air temperature is lower than a traditional sauna, making it easier to sit in. A 2018 study published in JAMA Internal Medicine found that men who used saunas four to seven times per week had a 63 per cent reduced risk of sudden cardiac death. Advocates of infrared claim it boosts cardiovascular health, prevents muscle soreness after exercise, and improves circulation.
Hyperbaric oxygen chamber
In these containers, the air pressure is increased two to three times higher than usual, meaning the lungs can gather much more oxygen than would normally be possible. Originally these chambers – which you climb into and lay down in – were used to treat a condition called decompression sickness which is caused by rapid drops in water pressure. Athletes also use them to speed up recovery and, more recently, they have been adopted by biohackers. A 2021 research overview carried out in Spain found, 'as wounds need oxygen to regenerate tissues properly, an exposure of 100 per cent oxygen accelerates this process.' Proponents say time in a chamber speeds up exercise recovery and supports the immune system.
