2 days ago
I'm a psychologist and there are 5 things your kids must NEVER do if they have ADHD – or they risk making symptoms worse
MOST of us will know someone with ADHD - maybe a person in your friendship group, a work colleague, even your own son or daughter.
While it's commonly understood that people with ADHD have difficulties with attention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, it's less well known what can exacerbate symptoms, especially among children.
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Children are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD - which stands for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder - than adults.
The condition can be identified at any age, but symptoms typically begin in childhood.
While the condition affects both children and adults, the experience and challenges can differ significantly.
Children often struggle more with hyperactivity and impulsivity, so knowing how not to exacerbate your child's symptoms is very important.
There's been a notable increase in diagnoses over the past two decades, particularly among adults, and we know so much more about it - although figures suggest many cases remain undiagnosed.
As of 2024, 2.6 million people in the UK were estimated to have ADHD, approximately 708,000 children and 1.9 million adults.
Prescriptions for ADHD increased significantly from around 25 items per 1,000 people in 2019-20 to 41.55 items in 2023-24.
But this increase isn't necessarily due to a true surge in cases.
It reflects a number of factors, such as increased awareness and recognition of the condition, updates in diagnostic guidelines, and sociocultural pressures such as overstimulating digital environments.
While the rise partly reflects these factors, it also raises important questions about overdiagnosis, the medicalisation of typical behaviour, and the need for individualised care.
Do you or your child have ADHD- Here's the NHS test as Brits waiting two years for diagnosis
To better understand the condition, chartered counselling psychologist Dr Sheena Kumar shared everything you need to know - from telltale signs to what to avoid.
Signs you might have ADHD
ADHD isn't just about being hyper or distracted or struggling under a heavy workload, says Dr Kumar.
Instead, it's a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how you focus, organise, and manage impulses.
Dr Kumar explains: "While everyone struggles with attention sometimes, ADHD symptoms are persistent; they do
not come and go.
"They show up in different parts of life like work, school, and relationships, and make things feel harder than they should be."
According to Dr Kumar, the following symptoms always start in childhood, even if they weren't recognised:
Losing focus, even in conversations or reading
Misplacing things, forgetting tasks, or missing deadlines
Struggling to start or finish tasks that need mental effort
Feeling restless, talking a lot, or interrupting without meaning, which impacts your relationships
Having trouble managing time, emotions, or priorities
For adults, it might look less like physical hyperactivity and more like feeling mentally scattered or overwhelmed all the time, says Dr Kumar.
What NOT to do if you have ADHD
For people with ADHD, their brain works differently to neurotypical people, especially in areas like attention, impulse control, and executive functioning.
Because of this, some habits and choices can make symptoms worse or lead to burnout - especially for kids.
Dr Kumar says: "You want to find ways to support your brain rather than to add extra demand to it."
ADHD in children and young people
Symptoms of ADHD usually start before the age of 12.
A child or young person may show signs of being inattentive, such as:
being easily distracted
finding it hard to listen to what people are saying or to follow instructions
forgetting everyday tasks, like brushing their teeth or putting on socks
They may show signs of being hyperactive and impulsive, including:
having high energy levels
fidgeting or tapping their hands and feet
talking noisily
feeling restless, or getting up and moving around when they're supposed to sit still
finding it hard to wait their turn, or interrupting conversations
Most children and young people with ADHD have symptoms of both the inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive type.
Some only show signs of one type.
ADHD is thought to be recognised less often in girls than boys.
This may be because girls with ADHD more commonly have inattentive symptoms and these can be harder to recognise.
If you're worried that ADHD may be affecting your child, talk to one of their teachers.
The teacher will usually make a referral to the school's special educational needs co-ordinator (SENCO), who can discuss support in the classroom or with homework, or help with building confidence and friendships.
If you're still worried or you think your child needs additional support, you may want to make an appointment with a GP.
Source: NHS
Here are five things she recommends to avoid:
1. Prioritise sleep
People with ADHD tend to have a higher rate of sleep disorders.
Studies indicate that 50 to 80 per cent of people with ADHD experience sleep difficulties, including a higher likelihood of insomnia, sleep apnoea, periodic limb movement disorder, and restless leg syndrome.
For children, ADHD can lead to trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, and getting up in the morning.
And sleep deprivation amplifies ADHD symptoms.
It hinders the brain's ability to concentrate, making it more challenging for individuals with ADHD to stay focused and attentive.
Dr Kumar advises: "Prioritise sleep, and if you struggle, research and try different ways to help sleep."
2. Don't overcommit
The impulsivity and difficulty with time management associated with ADHD can contribute to taking on more tasks than one can realistically manage.
Kids in particular may also struggle to say 'no'.
This could be related to schoolwork, exams, or social situations such as hanging out with their friends.
But overcommitment can be particularly problematic for individuals with ADHD, often leading to stress, burnout, and difficulty following through on commitments.
Dr Kumar says: "Learning to say 'no' doesn't make you rude, it makes you honest."
3. 'Just try harder'
The belief that someone with ADHD must exert extra effort to perform tasks can negatively impact self-esteem, warns Dr Kumar.
This can be due to a combination of factors, including the feeling of being constantly behind, the internalisation of external criticism, and the challenges associated with emotional regulation.
Telling a child with ADHD to 'just try harder' is ineffective and can be harmful because ADHD is a neurological condition, not a lack of effort or motivation.
Instead of focusing on the perceived need to exert more effort, people with ADHD should adopt strategies to improve focus, organisation, and overall functioning.
These strategies should be tailored to individual needs and preferences, and may include using tools to manage time and tasks, incorporating physical activity, and seeking professional guidance.
4. Ignore your emotions
People with ADHD shouldn't ignore their emotions because neglecting them can lead to a number of difficulties.
Children with ADHD may especially have difficulty regulating and managing their emotions.
This can potentially result in intense outbursts and difficulty managing everyday situations.
"Working on regulation skills helps," says Dr Kumar.
5. Never self-diagnose or self-medicate
While parents are key to recognising potential ADHD symptoms and initiating the process of seeking a diagnosis from a doctor, they should never diagnose their child with the condition themselves.
Self-diagnosing and self-medicating ADHD is strongly discouraged because it can lead to inaccurate diagnoses, ineffective treatment, and potential harm.
A formal diagnosis requires a thorough evaluation by a qualified healthcare professional, and treatment plans should be tailored to individual needs under the supervision of a medical professional.
You risk the danger of making symptoms worse, says Dr Kumar.
The best way to get diagnosed
To go down the NHS route, visit your GP and ask for a referral to an ADHD specialist (only certain professionals are qualified to diagnose, such as psychiatrists and psychologists).
Dr Kumar advises: "You'll usually be asked to bring examples of how your symptoms affect your daily life.
"But note - while the NHS pathway is free, unfortunately waiting times can be up to three years.
"If a private assessment is an option for you, diagnosis tends to be a lot quicker.
"In my clinic I also do online ADHD assessment and diagnosis with adults."
What happens if ADHD is never diagnosed?
ADHD that is never diagnosed can hide under layers of frustration, burnout, or health issues.
A diagnosis can be the first step toward understanding yourself, finding effective strategies, and feeling less alone.
Dr Kumar adds: "Many people experience underachievement, feeling capable but consistently falling short due to disorganisation, missed deadlines, or procrastination.
"This often leads to low self-esteem, with individuals internalising harmful beliefs like 'I'm lazy' which can increase the risk of anxiety and depression.
"Without understanding the root cause, people may turn to coping mechanisms like excessive caffeine, or other substances to self-regulate.
"Relationships may also suffer due to impulsivity, forgetfulness, or emotional reactivity, all of which can create unnecessary conflict.
"Getting a diagnosis can bring clarity, relief, and a starting point for meaningful support."
How ADHD is treated
For some people, just knowing their diagnosis brings relief as it helps them to make sense of themselves and they do not want formalised treatment.
For those that want treatment, that can look like a combination of medication, psychological support, and lifestyle adjustments, says Dr Kumar.
She explains: "Psychological therapies, such as cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), support managing time, emotions, and daily challenges, often alongside coaching and family education.
"Lifestyle changes like establishing routines, using organisational tools, exercising, and prioritising good sleep also play an important role.
" Schools may provide additional support through formal plans, and regular follow-ups with healthcare professionals ensure the treatment is effective and adjusted as needed.
"Overall, treatment is personalised to help improve daily functioning and quality of life."
