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Telegraph
13 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Telegraph
I've got five sons named after characters on TV – it's only adults who are negative
'Before I had children, I didn't realise what a fraught business baby-naming was. I assumed you just picked a name you both liked for your child, and that was that. But after having five sons, I've come to realise people really care what others name their children – and they're not afraid to tell you if they don't like it. Lots of people raise an eyebrow when I reel off my sons' names: Jaxon, Noah, Cole, Bodhi and Leif-Ocean. They're often even more surprised when I reveal we named them all after characters from our favourite film and TV shows. We've been told one of them sounds like a criminal, and another one's name is too popular – we just can't win. Everyone had an opinion When I met my husband, Daniel, back in 2005, we didn't know if we wanted to have children. We spent our 20s working hard, him for fisheries, often away at sea, and me in local TV and radio. We spent our free time travelling the world and relaxing with friends in our hometown of Paignton, Devon. But once we reached our 30s, we both suddenly felt incredibly broody and knew we wanted to have children. We got married in 2013, and a year later, were expecting our first baby. Neither of us came prepared with any names that we desperately wanted to call our offspring, but as soon as we announced our pregnancy, we were inundated with people's opinions and suggestions. People went to no effort to hide their feelings about our name list – one friend screwed up her face as though there were a bad smell in the room when I mentioned the name Oscar. We had cries of, 'You can't use that name, I used to work with someone called that and they were awful!' Or, 'Amelia is terribly popular, there will be too many around.' Named and shamed I was shocked that people would offer such direct opinions. I know they'd never have told me if they hadn't liked, say, my wedding dress – but they thought it was fine to dictate their preferences for something so personal to us. The older generation, in particular, seemed to have very strong feelings about what were, and were not, acceptable options. My father-in-law not-so-subtly reminded us a few times that his name, Nigel, is on the 'danger list' as becoming extinct – though I think he'd have been thrilled if we'd used it, but we just couldn't picture it for a tiny baby. As soon as someone told us they hated a name, we really felt as though we had to take it off our list. We decided to keep our son's name to ourselves until he arrived. We realised that it's a lot more difficult to be rude about a name when it's accompanied by a tiny baby (but not impossible). Small screen inspiration Both Daniel and I are film buffs, and we spent a lot of our downtime watching movies and TV shows together. Near the end of my pregnancy, we were watching the TV series Sons of Anarchy. A drama series about a gun-wielding motorbike gang might not be the obvious place to go to for baby name inspiration, but we both loved the name of the main character, Jax. It felt a little wild, independent, and different, even though it probably wasn't what people were expecting. Our immediate family were so pleased to meet him, and had so much love, that none of them questioned his name at all. However, some friends weren't impressed. One messaged me to say: 'Why have you called him Jax? He sounds like a criminal!'. I'm usually quite thick-skinned, but that upset me just after I'd given birth. Ultimately though, I realised her opinion didn't matter. When I fell pregnant again, a year later, we immediately started looking for another name. We both found girls' names harder to pick, and luckily, we've never had to come up with one. While watching another film, The Notebook, we came across the name Noah. It was so peaceful, sweet and gentle, and when our second son was born, he immediately had that feel about him. We had far fewer raised eyebrows this time; Noah was the most popular name given to boys in England and Wales the previous year. Hollywood star's birth name When our third son arrived in 2016, we realised our niche was to picking names from a TV series – it felt like it had a bit more meaning than just choosing one from a baby name book. Cole was named after Joshua Jackson's character in the series The Affair and, in 2019 we had Bodhi, named after a character in the movie Point Break. When I had our final son, in 2022, we watched Signs with Joaquin Phoenix. After a quick Google, I found out Joaquin was originally named Leaf or Leif, if you use the traditional Nordic spelling. We live five minutes away from the beach and, during my pregnancy, I loved walking by the sea, so we used the name Leif coupled with Ocean. He was the only child born with the name Leif-Ocean in 2022. Even though people were used to us picking unusual names by now, we did notice lots of friends doing a double take this time around; the older boys' teachers definitely raised an eyebrow when they told them their brother's name, and we got used to people asking us to repeat it, before adding: 'Where did you get that from?' However, we did make sure he had a more 'mainstream' middle name, Caleb, in case he wants to use that one day. A head start in life? I post about our name choices a lot online, on my Instagram account @beachlifemuma, and I get a lot of negative comments on there. People say we've been cruel to our children, or that we've set them up to be bullied. I can honestly say none of my boys have ever been teased or bullied by other children because of their names; it's only ever adults who pull a face or make a comment. One mum who mentioned how 'unusual' my boys' names were had a toddler named Graham, which I don't think I'd have ever picked for a baby, so each to their own. I was 42 when I had Leif, and I think being an older parent has given me confidence in our name choices. Lots of people are lovely and really compliment the boys' names too. People sometimes ask if Noah ever wishes his name was more unusual, but I don't think any of them really have any concept of that. We don't know any other Noahs, so to him, it's just as unique as Leif-Ocean. Children's names seem to be much more unique these days, and children are generally very accepting of each other. They don't know if a name has a particular connotation unless an adult tells them it does, they just judge their peers on whether they like them or not. I know there are many things children can get picked on for at school, but I really don't think their name is one of them. Lots of their school friends have unusual names too. When Daniel and I were at school, we both knew lots of people with the same name as us. We didn't hate it, but we do like that our boys' names stand out a bit more. Some people have suggested to us that their names might hold them back in life, or stop them getting a job when they're older. I honestly don't think my boys are going to end up unemployed because they haven't got a name in the top 100 names. If anything, I'd like to think their unusual names might actually help them stand out a bit – because ultimately, it's their personality that counts, and they have bags of that. As told to Heather Main
Telegraph
13-05-2025
- General
- Telegraph
I hid my baby's unique name from my friends so they wouldn't steal it
Anyone who's recently named their child Leo may be experiencing buyer's remorse right now: given the appointment of the new Pope, it's set to become even more popular. As The Telegraph recently reported, the business of baby naming has never been more controversial: one in five grandparents baulks at the name bestowed upon their grandchild, as the trend for giving children increasingly unusual names continues. Children are far more likely to find themselves friends with a Jaxx or an Artemis than a Michael or Sarah as parents turn to more unusual names in order to avoid the horror of your child sharing the same name as someone in their classroom. But what's it really like to grow up with a name that stands out from the crowd? Is it really the key to being memorable in a modern world where promoting yourself as a brand is increasingly important – or a burden? Here, we meet a new mum who is determined that the unique name she has picked for her daughter will help her stand out in life – and one woman who knows all too well the potential pitfalls of growing up with a unique name. 'I don't want my daughter to share her name with half her class like I did' Catherine Lamb, 36, hated growing up with a name shared by others in her class, and was determined the same fate would not befall her own children. She and her husband, Nathaniel, 35, from Westerham, Kent, named their 14-month-old daughter Theia (pronounced Thay-ah), after the Greek titan goddess. Catherine, a writer, says: 'When I was a child, I hated having the same name as everyone else. There was nothing particular about the name that I disliked, other than it was very popular. 'There were three Catherines in my class at school, and more in other year groups. I ended up being known as Cathy, to differentiate me from my classmates Kate and Catherine. 'When I met my husband, Nathaniel, I was envious that he had been the only Nathaniel not only in his class, but his entire school – although it's a name I think has since grown in popularity.' Catherine's experience of growing up with a popular name meant she had already spent years considering names for her own offspring. 'I was always determined to give my own children a unique name. Not something completely made up, but something they weren't likely to share with anyone else in their class at school,' she explains. 'I thought it would be nice to have a name that is memorable. 'About two years before I had Theia, I fell in love with the name Thea after hearing it on a TV show, and earmarked it for my future daughter.' But by the time Catherine had got pregnant, she realised the name was more popular than they had thought. 'I overheard a mother talking to her daughter, called Thea, when we were out one day,' Catherine says, 'and immediately, it put me off. In 2023, the name Thea was the 63rd-most popular girls' name in the UK, according to Office for National Statistics data, and was given to 716 baby girls. 'Then, some distant relatives in New Zealand also had a daughter named Thea, and I felt it was just too popular to use.' 'I immediately started Googling similar names, and found that the origin of the name Thea is actually from Theia, pronounced slightly differently, the Greek goddess of light. I loved that it was a strong and elegant name that had some history and mythology behind it. 'We both loved the name, but we kept it a closely guarded secret from friends and family. I didn't want anyone to try to put us off the name, or worse still, use it themselves.' When their daughter was born, the couple received a lot of compliments on their choice, even though many friends and even family members struggled to pronounce it at first. 'When Nathaniel called my mum to tell her Theia had arrived, she initially repeated the name as Thea – he had to correct her. 'Everyone has said they love the name, but people do forget how to say it. I've still only met two people who have known how to pronounce her name from seeing it written down. They usually plump for Thea, or sometimes 'Thee-ay-ah', or 'Thigh-ah'. 'It is a bit frustrating having to constantly correct people, especially after you've told them multiple times, and I suppose Theia might feel the same once she's older. 'But ultimately, I hope she grows to love her unique and memorable name.' 'It was perpetually awkward – I longed to be a Laura or an Emily' Dayna Clarke, 37, was named after her mother's favourite character in the American soap opera Dynasty, Dana Waring – although the unusual spelling is down to her dyslexic father registering her birth. 'My mum loved watching Dynasty while pregnant with me,' Dayna, a therapist, explains. 'Dana Waring was American; glamorous and feisty in a way that probably felt impossibly far from our rural corner of east Devon. 'My dad added the 'Y' to the name when he registered my birth. He was highly dyslexic, so I suspect it was a genuine mistake rather than a deliberate decision – although sadly, he's no longer around to ask. 'Growing up, having a name like Dayna in a rural community was perpetually awkward. I used to long to be a Laura or an Emily, to have the kind of name that you could find on a personalised keyring. 'My schooldays were difficult. The only other Dana anyone had heard of was Dana Scully, from The X-Files. I had the theme tune hummed at me a lot.' But the unusual spelling of Dayna's name meant that even having a famous namesake didn't help people pronounce her name correctly. 'I absolutely dreaded having a new teacher. I'd brace myself during registration for them to hesitate when they got to my name, before attempting Diana, Danya, or even Diner. There was always a lot of laughter. 'I don't have a middle name, but when I was a teenager, I gave myself the middle name Alicia, in the hope people might use that instead. It wasn't very successful. 'As an adult, I've missed appointments while waiting for my name to be called and it being mispronounced so badly I didn't even realise I was being called. There's a special kind of loneliness from having to explain yourself before you've even said hello.' Dayna was an adult before she had met anyone who shared her unusual name. 'It was only two years ago when I met someone else called Dana, at a party. When she introduced herself, I genuinely thought she was mocking me. 'It felt surreal and quite disorientating to say the name out loud to someone else who responded to it.' But Dayna has eventually grown to love her unusual name. 'When I was younger, unfamiliar names stood out, and I was desperate to fit in,' she explains. 'But as I travelled more, my perception of my name shifted. I met people from other cultures, and everyone's name seemed to have a story. 'People still struggled to pronounce it, but then, people started telling me it was a beautiful name, rather than laughing about it, and I really began to embrace it.' 'I started to see the charm in being the only Dayna on the email thread or the office whiteboard. 'Recently, a good friend told me her sister had named her daughter Dayna. I was stunned – it felt strange but quite beautiful to hear it chosen.' But despite the moniker being chosen by others, Dayna insists that if she has children herself, she'll opt for a more traditional name. 'I don't think I'd bestow a name as unique as Dayna on my own children,' she says. 'I love it now, but it's been a long process, and I think as a child I'd have preferred something slightly more mainstream. 'I still feel a flush of embarrassment when someone stumbles over my name, or consistently mispronounces it wrong, but I no longer dislike it. 'I've come to accept it's part of who I am.'
