9 hours ago
A Video of My Kids Interrupting My Sister's Wedding Went Viral — & People Are Heated
Hundreds of people have called me a bad mom in the last 24 hours. I can't lie — it stings a little. Especially because not a single person actually knows me or my three kids. They just saw a 10-second video I posted on Instagram and made all kinds of assumptions about who I am as a person and what kind of mom I am. It's a stark (and heartbreaking!) reminder of how much our society hates kids. Not to mention, how much people villainize moms — I can't imagine that this video would have received the same hateful reaction if a dad posted it.
Let's start from the beginning. The video in question captures my sister and her bride having their first dance on their wedding day. As the two brides twirl around the dance floor, my three sons, ages 7, 6, and 3, join them, twirling purple napkins in the air and encircling them, making my sisters laugh.
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I wrote over the video, 'My sister and her bride were having a beautiful first dance until my 3 kids thought they needed some company.' In the caption, I quipped, 'So THIS is why some people have kid-free weddings!'
The video quickly went viral and currently has 762k views. Almost every single one of the 400+ comments are hateful vitriol aimed at me and my parenting skills. 'Go get them???' one person commented, which received 15.1k likes. Another comment (with 13k likes) stated that I 'totally ruined their moment' and called me 'a bad parent for not correcting them.'
Let me state for the record: this was a joke. Some people have kid-free weddings, which is real and valid, but this was not that. My sister and sister-in-law had an intimate wedding with close friends and family, and my three boys were some of the only children there. These kids were also in the wedding as a ring bearer and flower boys (don't even get me started on what happened when my youngest two started fighting over the flowers right before walking down the aisle!).
I barely have over 1,000 followers, most of whom are extended friends and family, and everyone who attended this wedding — including, most importantly, the brides — loved that my kids joined them for their first dance. No, it wasn't a planned moment. But what you didn't see in the video was that when my kids ran out toward the end of the brides' song, my sisters smiled and said it was OK.
Afterward, the brides told me how sweet and fun it was that my kids joined them for the dance — and many other wedding guests said the same. Later, the brides had father-daughter dances, cut the cake, had a last dance, and more, during all of which my kids stayed close by my side and did not interrupt.
I debated whether or not to write this explanation. After all, it's none of anyone's damn business! But in the end, I wanted to say something because kids have a right to exist, to have fun, and to express themselves in public. A parent's job is to guide and teach, and yes, if I felt what they were doing was wrong or inappropriate — or made my sister and her bride upset — I would have quickly gotten my kids. That's not what happened, but if it did, everyone would have moved on. Kids just do that kind of thing, and you can't get mad every time they act like, well, kids.
In case you didn't know, children are a wild card, and no matter where you bring them — restaurants, airplanes, weddings — someone is going to have a problem with how they're acting. It's all part of living in a society that despises children.
Yolanda Williams, a conscious parenting coach and founder of 'Parenting Decolonized' told CNN last year that many people dislike the newer gentle-parenting styles that are a stark contrast from the authoritarian styles of old. She explained that people expect parents to prioritize the needs of adults in public settings over the needs of their child. And I've definitely seen that!
'A lot of us are still raised to think children should be seen and not heard,' Williams told the outlet. 'So when you see children who are just loud and they're able to be themselves, it's jarring to people.'
Birth rates in the U.S. have been down for several years, anti-abortion laws are stricter than ever, and politics are promoting a movement where women stay home with their children and comply with traditional gender roles. (While men are praised for the bare minimum.) Women don't get paid maternity leave, help with childcare, or support from society. Kids aren't just not supported, they're despised — and as a mom, I'm sick of it. I'll proudly bring my kids in public, without letting fear of tantrums or meltdowns or judgmental looks from strangers stop me from living my life.
If you can't even control yourself from posting rude, mom-shaming comments on a stranger's Instagram, then how do you expect me to stop a kid from being a kid? I have a simple solution for everyone who doesn't want to see kids in public: don't go in public. And go ahead and log off Instagram while you're at of SheKnows
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