21 hours ago
Should I fight the sexist boys' club at work? NICOLA HORLICK replies
Working life today is full of constantly evolving challenges and pitfalls.
When is it OK to date a co-worker? Can you tell your team to get back into the office five days a week?
Whether you're a baffled Boomer, a muddled millennial, or a confused Gen Z-er, our brilliant columnist Nicola Horlick can help.
Dear Nicola,
I took on a new role six months ago. I was told the department I would be joining was a 'boys' club' where I'd struggle to be heard. I didn't take that literally, in order to gain new experience.
Now I wish I had listened. I am finding I am being talked over in meetings and excluded from after-work socialising, where the best deals and leads are shared out. Someone told me they all think my outfits, which I think make me look professional, are chosen to attract male attention.
I don't want to come over as humourless, but I am fed up of borderline sexist in-jokes and the unspoken assumption that men come up with the best ideas. At first I thought the behaviour was unintentional but I suspect they are careful not to overstep the line so I cannot complain. My boyfriend says they're dinosaurs who won't change, so I should look for another job. But I can't bear to think they've won and will do this to any other women who join this division.
Yours, Miranda
Dear Miranda,
The problem here is the culture of an organisation or division is created by the people who lead. If they're happy with this banter and aren't prepared to challenge sexist behaviour, then it's difficult to see how you can promote change.
Having a strong culture is vital if a business is to succeed. When I left university, I was lucky to get a job at SG Warburg, then the most successful bank in the City.
The bank had been founded by a Jewish refugee just after the war and quickly became a force to be reckoned with. Its rivals, which were centuries old, couldn't understand how this upstart had done so well in such a short period of time.
When I arrived it quickly became apparent to me. There were equal numbers of men and women in my cohort, and from different social backgrounds, some from abroad. There was a sense the firm was a meritocracy with hard work rewarded. Managers were keen to delegate to younger colleagues so they could learn. I never felt less valued than my male colleagues.
Many of us spend most of our waking hours at work and it is important to feel happy and valued. You clearly don't, and I fear your boyfriend is right. If you like the company, but not this division, perhaps you could move back.
If not, you need to find a job with a company that shares your values and has a more positive culture.
