16-05-2025
I'm a parenting expert, this is why I won't send my kids to birthday parties
A mother has come under fire revealing she often doesn't allow her children to go to birthday parties.
Emily Oster, 45, who write books on parenting, appeared on the We Met At Acme podcast last month to discuss motherhood, and said she didn't allow her children, aged 10 and 14, to attend parties.
The economist and author, from the US, is known for voicing her sometimes controversial opinions on motherhood said she'd rather prioritise 'family time'.
Emily, who is also CEO for the ParentData blog, told the podcast, hosted by Lindsey Metselaar, that she wasn't 'categorically opposed' to parties, but that she would turn down invitations if they clashed with family plans.
A video recording of the conversation shared to the podcast's social media channels racked up more than 234,000 views, with thousands of parents left seething by Emily's divisive remarks.
Viewers accused her of being 'controlling' and making a 'bad parenting choice'.
Explaining her view, she said: 'For our family, this idea of prioritising some time that the four of us can spend together that is family time, that's very central, and that's not everybody's thing, but that's our thing. And once we have that, it sort of rules out many other things.'
'It's not that I'm categorically opposed to the concept of a birthday party,' she clarified, adding that she would rather take the opportunity to spend time together as a family unit.
Only if they weren't 'generally doing things as a family', would she allow her children the chance to attend the birthday celebrations of other
'If there were a Sunday afternoon birthday party, which is a time at which we don't generally do things as a family, I would be happy to let my kid go if they wanted,'
'But if the birthday party is Sunday morning, which is a time that we like to go hiking or do other stuff together, it's just no.
'It's just like we decided a thing that was important, and this other thing is less important because we said this first thing was the most important.'
Viewers were less than impressed by Emily's comments, with many accusing her of 'excluding' her children and for making 'bad parenting choices'.
One furious parent wrote: 'I'm a teacher. Kids talk about their birthday parties all week and after the weekend. You're excluding your child not just from the party, but from the whole experience around it. It's isolating.'
A second said: 'Hate this but thanks for sharing your bad parenting choice.'
Others pointed to the value of 'friendship' and 'community' in allowing their children to socialise at parties.
Viewers were less than impressed by Emily's comments, with many accusing her of 'excluding' her children and for making 'bad parenting choices'
'But I want my kids to value friendship, community, showing up for people! And I have to teach them that by example. And parties are what, an hour? Two?,' another pointed out.
Another insisted she had 'control issues' for refusing her to allow her brood to take part in birthday celebrations.
After amassing a slew of negative backlash, Emily later told Good Morning America, where she told hosts that she hoped more people would listen to the podcast in it's entirety to full understand her position.
'If you just said, 'My family likes to spend time together on Sunday morning,' I don't think that's a very controversial statement,' she told the publication.
'My kids go to birthday parties. My kids spend time with other students [and] kids. We have play dates, etc. It is just about, in this particular example, a way in which a family might prioritise or think about their time.'
The parenting expert said she and her husband have long held a commitment to 'family time', and that they enjoy a range of activities with their children, who are aged 10 and 14.
Acknowledging that not everyone would agree with her take on the matter, she told the media outlet said she hoped parents could look decipher their own priorities according to their individual needs.
'The idea that we would like to spend some time together as a family, that is part of the core values that my husband and I share, and I think it's very similar to many other families,' she said.
'What I urge people is to think about what you want your weekends to look like … so then you can make the life that you love.'
