Latest news with #disconnection
Yahoo
19-05-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
Poll shows support for Starmer's ‘island of strangers' warning
Sir Keir Starmer was right to warn that Britain risks becoming an island of strangers, a poll suggests. British people feel disconnected from society, wary of other people and worried about community tensions, according to the survey carried out by the non-profit More in Common. Half of adults said they felt disconnected from society, while 44 per cent said they sometimes felt like a 'stranger' in their own country. The findings come a week after Sir Keir Starmer argued that Britain risked becoming an 'island of strangers' if immigration did not come down. The poll suggested that the reasons for disconnection went beyond immigration and culture, with 47 per cent of British Asians saying they felt like a stranger in Britain – more than the 44 per cent of white Britons who said the same thing. The survey found economic insecurity was most closely related to alienation. Two thirds of people who said that they struggled to make ends meet also said they felt disconnected, compared to only 37 per cent of those were more comfortable financially. Focus groups also suggested that a decline in face-to-face interaction driven by technology, social media and working from home had changed how people interacted with each other. Luke Tryl, director of More In Common, said the research showed 'an urgent need to think again about how we rebuild a united and cohesive society'. He added: 'The polling puts into sharp relief something that will come as no surprise to many Britons – a growing sense that we've turned inward, away from each other, becoming more distant and less connected.' The study marks the launch of a new national project – This Place Matters – focused on strengthening social bonds and backed by the UCL Policy Lab, campaign group Citizens UK and More In Common. Matthew Bolton, executive director of Citizens UK, said: 'The answers to this don't lie in Whitehall. 'By listening to people closest to the ground about what causes division and what builds unity in their neighbourhood, we can build a blueprint for cohesion rooted in local leadership and community power.' As well as increasing feelings of isolation, the poll suggested significant rates of mistrust, with 53 per cent of people agreeing that 'you can't be too careful with most people'. Younger people were far less like to trust others, with the figure rising to 65 per cent among those aged between 18 and 24 and 62 per cent among 25-34-year-olds. The public is also split on whether multiculturalism benefits or threatens Britain's national identity, with 53 per cent saying it is a benefit and 47 per cent saying it is a threat, with some saying they believe there has not been enough integration. More In Common said focus groups had shown the fallout from last year's riots 'continues to reverberate and affect community cohesion', with many seeing the Prime Minister's response as 'one of his most impressive moments', but a minority feeling the Government had been 'too heavy-handed'. The More In Common poll surveyed 13,464 British adults between March 14 and April 7. Broaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 1 month with unlimited access to our award-winning website, exclusive app, money-saving offers and more.
Telegraph
19-05-2025
- Politics
- Telegraph
Poll shows support for Starmer's ‘island of strangers' warning
Sir Keir Starmer was right to warn that Britain risks becoming an island of strangers, a poll suggests. British people feel disconnected from society, wary of other people and worried about community tensions, according to the survey carried out by the non-profit More in Common. Half of adults said they felt disconnected from society, while 44 per cent said they sometimes felt like a 'stranger' in their own country. The findings come a week after Sir Keir Starmer argued that Britain risked becoming an ' island of strangers ' if immigration did not come down. The poll suggested that the reasons for disconnection went beyond immigration and culture, with 47 per cent of British Asians saying they felt like a stranger in Britain – more than the 44 per cent of white Britons who said the same thing. The survey found economic insecurity was most closely related to alienation. Two thirds of people who said that they struggled to make ends meet also said they felt disconnected, compared to only 37 per cent of those were more comfortable financially. Focus groups also suggested that a decline in face-to-face interaction driven by technology, social media and working from home had changed how people interacted with each other. Luke Tryl, director of More In Common, said the research showed 'an urgent need to think again about how we rebuild a united and cohesive society'. He added: 'The polling puts into sharp relief something that will come as no surprise to many Britons – a growing sense that we've turned inward, away from each other, becoming more distant and less connected.' The study marks the launch of a new national project – This Place Matters – focused on strengthening social bonds and backed by the UCL Policy Lab, campaign group Citizens UK and More In Common. Matthew Bolton, executive director of Citizens UK, said: 'The answers to this don't lie in Whitehall. 'By listening to people closest to the ground about what causes division and what builds unity in their neighbourhood, we can build a blueprint for cohesion rooted in local leadership and community power.' As well as increasing feelings of isolation, the poll suggested significant rates of mistrust, with 53 per cent of people agreeing that 'you can't be too careful with most people'. Younger people were far less like to trust others, with the figure rising to 65 per cent among those aged between 18 and 24 and 62 per cent among 25-34-year-olds. The public is also split on whether multiculturalism benefits or threatens Britain's national identity, with 53 per cent saying it is a benefit and 47 per cent saying it is a threat, with some saying they believe there has not been enough integration. More In Common said focus groups had shown the fallout from last year's riots 'continues to reverberate and affect community cohesion', with many seeing the Prime Minister's response as 'one of his most impressive moments', but a minority feeling the Government had been 'too heavy-handed'. The More In Common poll surveyed 13,464 British adults between March 14 and April 7.
Times
18-05-2025
- Politics
- Times
Britons feel detached from society and distrustful of strangers
Britons feel disconnected from society, wary of other people and worried about community tensions, according to a survey. A poll of more than 13,000 British adults found that 50 per cent said they felt disengaged and 44 per cent said that they sometimes felt like a stranger in their own country. Sir Keir Starmer argued last week that Britain risked becoming an 'island of strangers' if immigration numbers did not decrease. The poll by the organisation More In Common suggested, however, that the reasons for feelings of detachment went beyond immigration and culture. It found that 47 per cent of British Asians felt like a stranger in their country compared with 44 per cent of white Britons. Economic insecurity was most closely related to alienation,
Yahoo
18-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
13 Signs Your Husband Is Quietly Checking Out Of Your Life Together
Some relationships don't end with a bang—they just slowly dissolve, undone by disconnection, silence, and withdrawal. If your husband seems emotionally unavailable, distant, or simply 'not there' in the ways that used to matter, it might not be your imagination. While every marriage goes through phases, consistent signs of emotional absence can be clues that he's checking out—quietly and without confrontation. He shows up physically, but emotionally, it's like talking to a wall. Conversations are short, responses are flat, and eye contact is rare. You may find yourself carrying the entire emotional weight of the relationship, while he drifts through daily routines with no depth of connection. It's like you're cohabiting, not truly living life together. Even shared moments—like dinners or downtime—feel vacant. His silence isn't peaceful, it's deafening. When you try to talk about your day or emotions, he tunes out or changes the subject. If he used to be engaged and now he's just… there, something's shifted. Being independent is healthy—until it becomes a form of detachment. If he's making major decisions, booking trips, or spending time in ways that exclude you, that's not space—it's separation. Watch for patterns: solo plans, vague explanations, or a reluctance to include you in his life outside of home. He might insist he's "just busy" or "needs alone time," but there's a difference between recharging and re-routing the marriage. If you're no longer part of his inner world, it could be because he's carving out a version of life that doesn't include you. This isn't just about sex. It's about the small gestures: touching your back as he passes, holding your hand in public, a goodnight kiss. When affection drops off completely, it can indicate a deeper emotional exit. You may notice that he avoids any form of closeness or creates excuses for why he's not in the mood. When emotional connection fades, so does physical intimacy. And if the distance has become the norm—with no conversation about it—it could signal he's pulling away in all the ways that matter most. If your husband once comforted you during hard moments but now rolls his eyes or tells you you're "too sensitive," that's a red flag. Emotional withdrawal often comes with a lack of empathy. He doesn't ask how you're doing, and when you offer vulnerability, it's met with criticism or indifference. It might feel like your emotions are inconvenient to him. Instead of validating your experience, he invalidates it. Over time, this makes it harder for you to speak up—so you bottle it in, and the emotional chasm only widens. A lack of conflict might sound like peace, but in some marriages, it's just silence replacing care. If your husband no longer reacts to disagreements or simply walks away mid-conversation, that's a sign he's emotionally disengaged. Passion, even in conflict, reflects investment. When you stop fighting, you stop trying. And when only one of you is still trying to fix things, it becomes painfully clear that the other may have already given up. He jokes with coworkers, texts his siblings, and lights up around his friends—but with you, he's flat. You've become the exception, not the rule. When a man invests his warmth, curiosity, and empathy everywhere except home, it often means he's redirecting emotional energy elsewhere. You might even feel like a roommate or an afterthought. It stings to watch him show up emotionally in other areas of life while you're stuck navigating the cold shoulder at home. Couples dream together—weekends, trips, even retirement. If your husband avoids making any plans that include you, take note. According to Psychology Today, emotional detachment often shows up in the small ways people avoid envisioning a future with you in it. You might find he talks about 'someday' or 'after this busy season,' but never commits to anything. And when you bring up shared goals, the conversation dies or shifts to logistics only. It's not just procrastination—it's disinterest. Irritability is often a mask for suppressed resentment or guilt. If your husband is snapping at you over small things but avoids deeper conversations, he may be acting out his disconnection rather than admitting it. You might feel like you're constantly walking on eggshells. Instead of unpacking what's really going on, he lashes out—or shuts down. This emotional volatility creates distance and confusion, leaving you unsure whether he's just stressed or secretly unhappy. Phones, hobbies, work—anything to avoid being fully present. While everyone zones out now and then, habitual distraction is a form of avoidance. You can't have a meaningful conversation because he's always 'in the middle of something.' The issue isn't just the device in his hand—it's the emotional unavailability that comes with it. You're trying to connect, and he's buffering. Every moment missed builds the quiet space between you even wider. You initiate the texts. You plan the dinners. You ask the questions. Over time, this one-sided effort becomes exhausting—and telling. If your husband never reaches toward you emotionally, he's likely drifting away. Relationships require reciprocity. When someone stops reaching back, they're often stepping away—quietly, passively, but deliberately. And you're left carrying the weight of the connection. He used to be curious about your world—your opinions, your projects, your inner life. Now, he doesn't ask. And when you offer something, it's met with a nod or a distracted 'uh-huh.' His disengagement may not be loud, but it's painfully clear. When someone stops wondering about you, they stop investing. Emotional intimacy thrives on curiosity, and the absence of it is one of the quietest, saddest signs someone is emotionally exiting. Bringing up anything emotional is met with sighs, shutdowns, or deflections. If you can't talk about what's wrong, you can't fix what's wrong. Avoidance may be his way of keeping the peace—but at the cost of connection. This refusal to engage in hard conversations isn't passivity—it's withdrawal. The silence becomes a strategy, and you're left holding all the emotional labor of the marriage on your own. This is the most telling sign of all. You're not alone, but you feel like you are. That ache in your chest when you're sitting next to the person who once made you feel seen? That's what emotional abandonment feels like. Loneliness in a marriage cuts deeper than solitude. When your partner checks out, you're left holding space for a relationship that no longer holds space for you.
Forbes
15-05-2025
- Health
- Forbes
2 Communication Styles That Create Distance In Love, By A Psychologist
Some of the most painful moments in relationships stem from subtle communication habits that protect ... More instead of connect. Here are two that can slowly push partners apart. Emotional distance in long-term relationships rarely begins with a major rupture. Instead, it often starts with subtle, recurring patterns such as missed cues, unmet bids for connection and conversations that leave one or both partners feeling unseen. These moments can easily compound into a quiet loneliness, even in the presence of physical closeness. Statements such as the following often signal relationship decline. These are not always problems of compatibility or conflict — they are symptoms of disconnection. At the root of disconnection are repeated micro-moments of misattunement in how we speak and listen to each other. Certain communication styles, when habitual, signal a deeper emotional shift: from reaching toward one another to protecting oneself from vulnerability. Here are the two communication styles that predict long-term disconnection in relationships. Dismissive responding often hides behind a mask of calm rationality: On the surface, these statements can sound composed or even well-meaning. But underneath lies a pattern of emotional invalidation. When one partner repeatedly minimizes, redirects or shuts down emotional expression, it sends a powerful message: 'Your feelings don't belong here.' Over time, the other person learns that to stay close, they have to shut off parts of themselves. Research published in the Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association found that emotionally distant individuals are not detached due to apathy, but because emotional closeness feels threatening. This defense often stems from early experiences as children, where their emotions were inadequately mirrored by a caregiver. Without consistent emotional attunement, the child develops a fragile identity, one that is built around the need to avoid vulnerability to preserve a sense of self. In adult relationships, this manifests as a retreat into logic, control or detachment whenever emotions surface. Dismissiveness, then, becomes a self-protective strategy — less about ignoring the other person's feelings, and more about preserving a shaky internal equilibrium. Emotional expression feels overwhelming, and validation feels like a step too close to engulfment or loss of self. As this pattern persists, the relationship begins to feel emotionally sterile. Conversations revolve around tasks. Vulnerability is edited out. One partner withdraws and the other goes silent because they never learned how to stay present with difficult feelings. Repair, in this case, begins with presence over problem-solving. Instead of fixing, slow down and feel. Simple responses can open the door to connection: Remember, validation doesn't necessarily mean agreement, it means making room for your partner's emotional reality without trying to alter it. For emotionally distant individuals, learning to tolerate this kind of closeness is not just about better communication, but about healing long-standing fears of intimacy and identity erosion. Scorekeeping in relationships rarely stems from a genuine pursuit of fairness. Instead, it stems from emotional depletion. When one or both partners keep a running tally of who did more, gave more or tried harder, it's often an attempt to communicate unspoken pain such as, 'I feel invisible,' or 'I don't feel safe asking for what I need.' Resentment begins to replace vulnerability. It might sound like: But deep down, it's not about chores or calendars. Instead, it's about longing for recognition, balance and relief. A 2013 study published in Contemporary Psychoanalysis highlights how couples often frame their struggles in moral language, invoking ideas of fairness, justice and responsibility. While these frameworks may appear principled, they often mask the discomfort of vulnerability in intimate relationships. Drawing from psychoanalytic and attachment theory, the study suggests that this preoccupation with fairness can act as a defense against the anxiety of seeking emotional need fulfilment and healthy dependence. In practice, this means scorekeeping becomes a relational shield or an emotionally distant way to ask for closeness. When couples focus on who owes whom, it prevents them from acknowledging the softer truth: 'I need more from you, and I don't know how to say it without feeling exposed.' In real life, this turns scorekeeping into a substitute for closeness. Instead of saying, 'I'm hurting and I need more from you,' couples fall into a pattern of tit-for-tat. The relationship becomes transactional and all acts of love feel calculated, accompanied by hidden caveats. To course coorect, you must look beneath the ledger and listen for the longing. Ask yourself: Then, shift from tallying to tending. Instead of: 'I did the dishes three times this week,' try: 'I've been feeling burnt out. Could you take over the dishes tomorrow so I can recharge?' Real intimacy doesn't always come from even exchanges, but from emotional transparency, especially when it's hardest to ask for and give in reciprocation. At their core, both dismissiveness and scorekeeping aren't just poor communication habits, they're emotional coping mechanisms. One shields against vulnerability while the other pleads for recognition. But both speak to the same underlying truth: a deep need to be seen, heard and emotionally held. Healing disconnection begins when we stop asking, 'Who's right?' and start asking, 'Where does it hurt?' Because disconnection isn't the end of love. It's a call to listen differently. It reminds us to move beyond roles and routines, and speak to each other from the tender, human places of our fears, our longings and our desire to feel safe in each other's presence. If you've ever felt emotionally alone in the presence of your partner, know that you're not imagining it, and you're definitely not alone. Take the science-backed Loneliness In Intimate Relationships Scale to learn how it may be impacting you.
