2 days ago
Bride secretly sells alcohol behind her husband's back at their 'dry wedding' - and her reasoning has left people baffled
A bride has been criticised and called 'manipulative and selfish' after setting up a secret bar at her 'dry' wedding behind her husband's back.
The 27-year-old woman, thought to be from the U.S, commented on a San Francisco-based online chat forum Reddit under the thread: 'Am I the a**hole?'
She said that she and her husband, who is 29, had a big wedding with 300 guests which she described as 'beautiful, honestly a dream'.
However, because both of their families are 'super conservative and very religious', the couple told everyone that it would be a dry wedding with no alcohol to 'keep the peace' with their parents and extended family.
The couple were footing most of the bill themselves so the bride saw an opportunity to make some of their money back by creating a 'wedding speakeasy'.
She wrote: 'I saw an opportunity and took it. I hired a licensed bartender friend of mine to set up a 'VIP bar' hidden at the venue (it was at a large event hall with a garden and private side rooms).
'I gave a heads-up to about 75 of our younger friends and more chill cousins, and basically had them pay for drinks- think wedding speakeasy.'
But she faced backlash online because she didn't tell her husband about her plan of action beforehand and said she was even called 'manipulative and selfish' by her new mother-in-law after they found out the secret bar.
The woman said that drinks were 'reasonably priced' and charged $5 for beer and $8 for cocktails, which people 'were happy to pay' as she described open bar weddings as rare in their social circle and said her guests thought it was 'kind of fun'.
The bride - who said that she paid her bartender the tips he earned from the day - managed to make $2,000 from around 75 wedding guests, which helped the pair cover part of their catering bill.
But it wasn't long before the word got out and a few of her aunts overheard other guests chatting about the 'secret bar'.
She said: 'Now my mom is livid. She says I lied to everyone, disrespected the family, and made a "mockery of our values." My [mother-in-law] also called me "manipulative and selfish."
'But honestly, most of our guests didn't even know it happened, and the ones who did loved it. We didn't force anyone to drink. We just gave the option discreetly.'
The woman said that she didn't tell her husband because she thought he would get stressed and 'would say no out of guilt'.
'My husband is kind of in the middle. He gets why I did it but wishes I had told him beforehand.'
The woman asked whether she was an a**hole for keeping it under wraps, even from her spouse, to which one Redditor commented: 'Dude, I was SO on board with you! This was a great idea…. Until you neglected to inform your spouse!!!!
'If you both had agreed then frankly I'd say your conservative family's opinions don't matter, BUT your spouse's does!!!
'Let this be a lesson in marriage for the future: always consult your partner. The rest of the world can be against you, but you both should always have the other's back. By lying to them you weren't being a good life partner.'
Another penned: 'Definitely, you're the a**hole] to the other 200 guests who weren't told there was a bar.
'Imagine having to sit through someone's 'dry' wedding only to find out they and their friends were drinking the whole time.'
A third said: 'Honestly, I thought your wedding speakeasy was an awesome idea.
'[You're the a**hole] big time for not including your husband in on it, but you're [not the a**hole] for doing it. You guys are a team and it was both your wedding.
'However, your life and your values are YOURS. Nobody has the right to tell you how you should live your life.
'You're a grown, married woman. Grow a backbone and stop letting them try to control you.
'Your husband should do the same. It's not going to get any better when you buy a house or have children. If they don't like it, tough.'
