2 days ago
Community-based parenting programs rarely put focus on dads. That needs to change.
How are we making space for dads to show up — messy, honest, and human? (Getty image)
Each June, we pause to celebrate fathers. We share cards, fire up the grill, and scroll through social media posts honoring fathers near and far. But when the smoke clears and Monday rolls around, how often do we stop to ask: What do fathers really need to thrive — and are we, as a community, truly supporting them?
For too long, the story of fatherhood has been told in extremes — either lionized as stoic protectors or vilified in the absence. What's missing is the middle: the everyday father who's trying, stumbling, learning, and growing. The father who wants to break harmful and oftentimes generational patterns, to love better, to be present. The father who — like all of us — needs support, not judgment.
We often say it takes a village to raise a child. But let's be honest — most of that village has been built around motherhood. Parent groups, baby showers, parenting blogs — these are cultural scaffolds that help mothers feel seen, heard, and supported. And they should. But where is that scaffolding for fathers?
Nationwide, fewer than 1 in 5 community-based parenting programs are designed specifically with fathers in mind. The gap is even wider when it comes to programs that address fatherhood in the context of trauma, domestic conflict, or behavioral health/conflict resolution. And yet, engaged fathers are linked to better outcomes in nearly every measure of child development — from higher school achievement to lower rates of incarceration, mental illness, and substance use.
Too many fathers — especially those who have made mistakes — are navigating parenthood without a map or a hand to hold. They face shame, isolation, and often don't have a safe space to reflect, grow, or reconnect with their children.
Parent groups, baby showers, parenting blogs — these are cultural scaffolds that help mothers feel seen, heard, and supported. And they should. But where is that scaffolding for fathers?
One example of what's possible when we invest in fathers is the Family Service of Rhode Island program, Caring Dads. The 17-week program doesn't just teach parenting skills — it fosters self-awareness, empathy, and accountability. Participants learn how their actions have impacted their families and are equipped with practical strategies to build healthy, child-centered relationships. This isn't about excusing harm — it's about transforming it. Each cohort is supported with group sessions, individual check-ins, and connection to foster community services. Mothers are also engaged in parallel, ensuring transparency and safety. In many cases, fathers in the program are able to reestablish trust, increase positive communication and create more stable environments for their children.
We know from decades of research that children do better when both parents are positively engaged. Yet our systems often write off fathers too quickly — especially Black and Brown fathers, who are twice as likely to be in the child welfare system and face greater barriers to reunification. If we are serious about equity, we must dismantle the narrative that fatherhood is expendable. We must challenge ourselves to ask: How are we making space for dads to show up — messy, honest, and human?
Supporting fathers isn't just a feel-good gesture for Father's Day. It's a year-round commitment to community well-being. When we support fathers, we interrupt cycles of trauma, and longstanding stereotypes that impact fathers ability to be present and engage, strengthen families, and create safer, more nurturing environments for children to grow.
This Father's Day, let's expand our idea of celebration. Let's reach out — not just with praise, but with partnership. Let's build father-friendly spaces. Let's ask dads what they need, and listen with compassion.
Because when fathers thrive, families heal. And when we embrace dads as a vital part of the village, everyone wins.
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