Latest news with #exHusband
ABC News
27-05-2025
- Health
- ABC News
This victim-survivor is fighting for her safety after her perpetrator's release from jail
Less than a year after Rhiannon Purcell's ex-husband was released from jail after violently assaulting her, he breached an apprehended domestic violence order (ADVO). WARNING: This story contains descriptions of violence and injuries that readers may find distressing. If you need help immediately call emergency services on triple-0 Now she is fighting to extend the ADVO after being told authorities could no longer help protect her from the man who put her in hospital. She feels NSW Police and the courts have only let her down. "It's disgusting … it's just not good enough," Ms Purcell said. She was with her ex-husband for 15 years and the pair have four children together. Ms Purcell claims the abuse began just one year into their relationship. "It started with little things, like controlling what I could wear, where I could go, things like that … and then it progressed to the verbal abuse and then physical abuse, financial abuse," she said. Ms Purcell said she finally decided to leave "when my children became the targets of his abuse". Even after leaving, she said her ex-husband continued to control and abuse her. One evening in March 2023, Ms Purcell drove to her ex-husband's family's home to pick up their youngest children. "He turned all of the outside lights off as he came out of the house … he jumped in the car with me," she said. According to court documents, he grabbed her phone off her before attacking her. "I got out of the car and I started running down the street. "He chased me and pushed me to the ground and was kicking me while I was on the ground." Family members who witnessed the attack managed to pull him off her and Ms Purcell was able to escape. "I didn't know the extent of my injuries until I was driving home and I could just feel warm blood just dripping from my head," she said. "My kids were so distraught and terrified. I had to get my scalp stapled back together." Hospital staff called police, who convinced her to make a statement. "They told me that I would be protected," she said. Her ex-husband was convicted over the assault and sentenced to nine months in jail with a non-parole period of just four months. Ms Purcell claims police discouraged her from reporting any previous abuse against her and the children during their marriage because there was not enough evidence. According to court documents, the man has "an extensive history of violent offending including domestic violence offences and personal violence offences". He was released from jail in late 2023 and a two-year ADVO was in place to protect Ms Purcell, which prohibited him contacting or going near her. But in mid-2024, Ms Purcell's ex-husband turned up at their son's football game, approaching their young children and standing just 1 metre away from her. "So after the game I drove straight to the police station, let them know there had been a breach. "They told me that it wasn't a breach because he had approached my [children] … but he hadn't spoken to me." Outraged by the lack of support from police, Ms Purcell posted on social media about her case. The post gained some traction after it was shared by her sister, media identity and writer Rosie Waterland. Ms Purcell believes this is the only reason police changed their minds about charging her ex-husband for breaching the ADVO. "I felt like it was only because of the social media post … they didn't care that I was unsafe and I was fearful, it was just that they looked bad," she said. The man pleaded guilty to the breach but was spared more jail time and instead handed a community corrections order. Now the ADVO is set to expire in July and Ms Purcell has been fighting to have it extended. She was told police will not apply to the court on her behalf for an extension and she would instead have to make the application herself or hire a private lawyer. "Now it's left me feeling really, really unsafe, my kids are scared," she said. "I just think if I can't get an extension to an AVO with a person that has put me in hospital, was convicted and did jail time … breached the AVO, has numerous violent offences in the past, then who can get their AVO extended?" After being contacted by ABC News, NSW Police have since contacted Ms Purcell and agreed to "support a new application" to extend the ADVO. "Where appropriate, police will seek to extend a current AVO or make a new application if there has been a continuation of offending and/or behaviour or new incidents have occurred," a NSW Police spokesperson said in a statement. "Given the circumstances of this matter, police would support a new application and the Bankstown Domestic and Family Violence Liaison Officer have contacted the person in need of protection to discuss the options," the statement said. Ms Purcell said she fears for other victims who feel let down by police and the courts in their fight to stay safe. Attorney-General Michael Daley said "the duration of an ADVO is determined by the court for as long as is necessary to ensure the safety and protection of the victim-survivor". "The NSW Government is always looking at ways the law can be improved to better protect victim-survivors of domestic and family violence," the statement said. According to domestic and family violence advocates, Ms Purcell's is not an isolated case. "Some [police] officers do it fantastically well and have a really nuanced and innate understanding of domestic and family violence and the complexity that sits around that, but unfortunately that's not every officer," Domestic Violence NSW senior policy and advocacy officer Angie Gehle said. Women's Legal Service NSW principal solicitor Pip Davis agreed cases like Ms Purcell's were "fairly common" and caused a "big access to justice issue". "I can only imagine given those hurdles, there are people that just drop off because it's too hard and the consequence is that they continue with an AVO that isn't as protective as it should be or one that has ceased, and they're unprotected," she said. Ms Gehle said there needed to be a "whole of systems" change to move away from "reactive policing" and focus on preventing domestic violence incidents. "DV NSW has been advocating for several years for at least a 50 per cent increase to baseline funding for domestic and family violence specialist services across NSW and we're still waiting," she said. Ms Gehle identified a pilot program being run in 10 NSW Police area commands placing a Women's Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service (WDVCAS) worker inside the station. She said the program was "working really well", but the government was yet to commit to extending its funding or expanding the program. In a statement, Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Prevention Minister Jodie Harrison said she would not "pre-empt the NSW budget" due to be handed down next month. "The NSW Government's $245.6 million budget for 2024/25 provided $24 million over four years to allow WDVCAS to deliver more intensive support to victim-survivors and help keep up with increasing demand for their services," the statement said. "Preliminary feedback of the pilots was positive." For Ms Purcell, she will continue to advocate for victim-survivors. "I want things to change for women. I don't want this to just keep happening over and over again and more women just dying every week."
Yahoo
25-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Sophie Turner shows support for ex-husband Joe Jonas
Sophie Turner has taken to social media to show support for Joe Jonas, her ex-husband.
Daily Mail
10-05-2025
- Daily Mail
I tried the risky sex fantasy all the middle-class mothers talk about. Now I'm the harlot of the school gate and I'll never live it down: SAUCY SECRETS
Dear Jana, I'll get straight to the point: I slept with my ex-husband at his father's funeral.
News.com.au
07-05-2025
- News.com.au
‘Lap dances': Horror for woman making $1k a day as dad's secret life exposed
When Queensland woman Caitlyn* saw her salary soar to $1000 a day, she thought she had finally made it - but she couldn't imagine the devastation that lay ahead. Caitlyn met her ex-husband as a single mum and said she essentially became a 'slave' to his financial demands. A pattern emerged where he worked very little and could never hold down a job, while she was employed the whole time. 'I got a degree and was doing really well and he just would never look after the children and I would have to have the kids in childcare, even when he wasn't working,' she told Exhausted from doing everything for the children on top of working full time, she demanded a break from her job but was told by her ex-husband it wouldn't happen as they would lose the house. Caitlyn said she was even forced to borrow money from her parents, despite the couple sharing a joint back account. 'There were times I would look at the bank account and see weird things,' she revealed. 'He would disappear for a night and spend $1000. I suspect it was $70 a go having lap dances, but the bank won't tell you what he had spent the money on as you aren't the primary cardholder.' 'My Frankenstein monster' The Queensland woman didn't only experience economic abuse in the relationship, it was much worse. 'There was violence and coercion in the marriage. I didn't realise it was that. I thought domestic violence was getting strangled and punched in the face, not getting shoved and pinched and generally yelled at,' she added. Eventually, she left the marriage but she was shocked at how the child support system enabled the economic abuse to continue. 'I was supporting three households at one point – my own, his and my elderly parents. Every time I got a payrise he would know how much I earned and would take that and use that against me,' she said. 'It was disheartening. It interfered with so many aspects of my life and you work really hard and really long hours to benefit someone who doesn't want the best for you or your kids.' Things took a devastating turn when one of the children decided to live with her full time. 'At that point he screamed at [our daughter] that she had made his life untenable by leaving the house as he would no longer get child support – that's what he screamed at a 14-year-old,' she explained. 'His whole life had been around using that child support system for 10 years. I used to call him my Frankenstein monster as he was always there – able to poke and prod. It's been devastating to my mental health as I couldn't get away from him.' 'I will always earn more than him' Piper* is another high earner, who is bringing in $134,000 a year after tax, who experienced emotional and physical abuse during her relationship. 'Towards the end it got really bad. I felt like I was always defending my kids and it ended up with him breaking my finger and putting me in hospital and I needed surgery for that,' she told 'The relationship went on for just under another a year and it was awful and everything got worse. In the end, I had to go see a lawyer and go to the police basically to get him out of the house.' But she revealed that's exactly when the economic abuse began. 'I have majority care of my children and pay child support. I will always earn more than him. My ex-partner does not contribute to school costs, medical, dental bills or for other activities for my children,' she said. 'Prior to my most recent IVO on my ex-partner, I was constantly verbally abused about how I make more money than him and can afford it. He constantly approves school activities for payment and doesn't pay – telling the children he has approved it and then leaving it to myself to pay. 'I still bear the brunt of it and he gloats about it. 'Everyone seems to think if you earn over six figures that you are wealthy – when you are still paying everything.' Invasion of privacy Caitlyn is highly critical of key aspects of the child support system. 'Every tax time he got to see exactly what I was earning and it was such an invasion of privacy,' she said. Piper is also furious about the system's invasive nature and said the level of financial detail required on child support forms is 'ridiculous' and unnecessary. 'It asks for absolutely everything that you have got financially and any mortgages or personal loans and that information you are expected to fill out every time,' she said. She wants to see the child support formulas reassessed and the level of detail supplied changed. 'To put all those details on those child support forms – there is no reason to know it,' she said. 'They don't need to know that you have $2500 in your savings account or your mortgage is whatever value, they don't base it on that. They just base it on the salary from the ATO at tax time. 'They don't take into account all those other financial pieces that they are asking you for. 'I think the government has put it all in the too hard basket and I don't see it getting better before my kids turn 18 as the government processes are so slow.' 'Angry and angsty' The battle to prove a ex-partner is making money has also been a widespread criticism of the system, including for Caitlyn. 'It just causes them to be angry and angsty at the kids,' she noted. Piper said she is sure her ex-partner is fiddling with his tax return to decrease his salary as much as possible, claiming he makes less than $20,000 a year. She also wants to see changes made when she claims other parents are exploiting child support money. 'I know they try to make the kids have the same lifestyle between the same houses and that's generally benefited people, who have been primary caregivers and haven't been able to work,' she said. 'I respect that but I think there needs to be another category for people who are entirely capable of working and a test that this person is more than capable of working and deliberately not earning an income.' A system used to further control Caitlyn added there is also no way of testing how the child support money is used and in her case it meant the kids 'missing out' when they were with their father as he used it to fund his lifestyle. Instead, she was forced to cough up for anything extra curricular or even a new pair of footy boots. 'Once he stopped getting any child support for the kids at all, he completely cut them off,' she revealed. Piper agrees that the child support system makes an assumption when calculating payments that both parents are providing for the children's educational, medical and dental costs when the kids are in their care. 'However in reality this does not always occur and the current child support assessment system does not allow for that assumption to be challenged to ensure that the other parent does contribute fairly. Abusers know this and use it to control their ex-partner. This needs to be addressed,' she said. Now in her 50s, Caitlyn said she wanted to bust the myth that it was only men paying child support. 'Most people have this idea that women sit at home. There is nothing about women paying child support, it's always about these poor blokes and he has to cough up child support,' she noted. 'There's never anything about what happens to women who leave a violent relationship.' Caitlyn has been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder from the domestic violence she experienced. 'It's curtailed what I can earn as its gotten on top of me,' she said. 'It's hard to explain what it's like. The kids grew up and suddenly I didn't have to earn all this money to support them and I have fallen in a heap. 'We are not all high flying with great mental health. Some of us are just ordinary people who have tried really hard and been screwed over.' Count down until children reach 18 While Caitlyn is now free of the child support system, Piper dreads still having to deal with it for years to come and being 'harassed'. 'You don't want to wish your child's lives away,' she noted sadly. Every time the care arrangements change she said it takes a minimum of four months for the child support agency to assess how much should be paid. She said even when her son decided he no longer wanted to live with his dad, an interim period to assess the situation still meant she was out of pocket by $1000 despite her child being in her care full time. 'I was completely stressed by the system,' she added. 'The process is way too long and very inflexible.' 'Ultimate injustice' Professor Kay Cook, Swinburne University of Technology associate dean of research in social sciences, said often women's incomes come under a much higher level of scrutiny, particularly as many rely on the benefits system. 'Men have their own business and it's a primary vehicle where taxable incomes are reduced to almost nothing and they are then entitled to a share of the other person's income,' she noted. She said men are weaponising the child support system to continue economic abuse. 'The entire system has been able to be gained to have the victim-survivor paying them as the ultimate injustice,' she said. Professor Cook agreed the ability to challenge child support assessments was extremely difficult. 'If the person who feels like they have been treated unjustly is the victim-survivor, it's an enormous process. It's an administrative burden and cost to generate all the data and supply all the information and to try and make the case that the other parent has higher means than they reporting,' she explained. 'The other party has no obligation to engage with the process but they receive all the information the complainant submits and it's passed through to other party in the name of fairness and transparency. It benefits the respondent as not providing information makes it harder to make a decision and then a decision is more likely to go in their favour.' 'Burn' the system down Professor Cook believes the only solution is 'burn' the entire child support system down in its current form as its created a 'battleground' for 'administrate warfare' with an ex-partner. 'It's in a black hole. It's family law, it's financial counselling, financial justice, it's with the tax and benefits system – it has intersections with all these systems – and no one owns it and no one really knows what to do it,' she said. 'There is no where to get help. You can't go into the Centrelink office and get help, its only a phone line and it's hours long wait times or incomprehensible info on a website or a massive form – it's not working.' She suggests rather than an individualised system, it should be non resident parents paying higher tax to the government, which is then distributed. A spokesperson for Department of Social Services said recommendations have been made by the Joint Select Committee on Australia's Family Law System into the Child Support Scheme. They are being examined by the Department of Social Services, Services Australia, the Australian Taxation Office and the Treasury, with a particular focus on improved collection and enforcement. 'This work will inform future arrangements, including to continue efforts to ensure the Child Support Scheme is not able to be used to continue financial control and abuse after separation,' they said.
