15-05-2025
How I lost 5st and kept it off
I never really thought much about my body when I was growing up. I was naturally slim, enjoyed sports, and didn't give food or fitness a second thought. Then when I was 20, I moved away from home into a flat share for the first time. I quickly fell into bad habits as I tried to get to grips with cooking for myself, looking after rent and bills and trying to figure out how to be an adult. It's a stressful time for anyone. I went from being a size eight to being a size 16 in the space of a year, and I just didn't feel like myself.
I was tired all the time, I lost a huge amount of confidence and I really didn't recognise the person that I saw in the mirror. I didn't understand very much about nutrition at all. I'd skip breakfast most days, grab Chinese takeaway food from the market near my office, and snack on chocolate, lollipops and crisps before I ordered something in for dinner. Food was comforting but I didn't always appreciate how it would impact my health and make me feel. It led to shame, and feeling embarrassed about how I was eating. Sometimes I'd take myself to McDonald's and pretend to be on the phone to someone while I ordered a family share box, so it looked like I wasn't planning to eat the whole thing.
Then there was the drinking. I'd have seven or eight cocktails with my friends on Wednesdays, when we had our flat game night, and I'd drink as many beers on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays too. Before I knew it, I was almost 14st (87kg) at 5ft 2in. I felt uncomfortable with how I looked but most of all, I just didn't feel like myself.
Like so many women, I tried everything to 'fix it': keto, skinny teas, cutting carbs, cutting sugar, eating nothing... all the usual fads you find on Google. I lost a few pounds which encouraged me, so I kept it up, on and off, for almost three years thinking it would help. None of it stuck because none of it taught me how to actually have a healthy relationship with food or with myself. Little did I know, it would have all been water weight: your body builds up excess fluids when you're eating a lot of unhealthy food. Then I decided to cut out sugar entirely, but of course, it just made me snack even more on crisps, chips and burgers.
Then Covid came. In New Zealand where I'm from, lockdown was strict. I couldn't order takeaways, so I had no choice but to cook for myself. I also had to slow down which gave me the space to reflect on how I had been treating myself. I remember making myself breakfast one morning – a mix of streaky bacon and eggs with heavy cream, cheese and two thick slices of bread – and counting the calories I was consuming, for the first time ever. That meal alone came up to 700 calories, nearly half of what I should have been eating in a whole day.
It was a real lightbulb moment. Even though I'd been treating food in a restrictive way, skipping breakfast and having a Mars Bar for lunch before a big dinner in the evening, I'd actually still been overeating hugely, just because I had never known how many calories those foods contained. Having that knowledge changed everything.
I also knew that the other way to change my health was to get more exercise. The only thing that was available to me in lockdown was to walk. So that's what I did: the next day I got out for a walk, just aiming to get 10,000 steps a day, compared with the 3,000 I must have been getting beforehand at most.
I also learnt how to make lighter versions of my favourite foods so that they were higher in protein and more satisfying – ham with more eggs for protein, no cream, and one slice of bread, a meal I remember coming in at about 400 calories. I didn't starve myself or do anything extreme. Between those two things, I lost 2.2lb (1kg) a week, which increased to 1st 5lb (10kg) in a few months and I finally felt ready to join the gym.
Week by week I felt more confident. I picked up boxing and found that I loved it. Going to classes at the gym every week, I saw the same people and started to actually look forward to exercise. Between that and keeping my steps up, I got down to 10st (63kg) and back into a size 8. I was so much happier – not just because I was slimmer but because I was fitter and stronger. I don't judge the girl that I was a few years ago because she was just doing her best, but getting fit and treating my body well has really changed me from the inside out.
At around the same time, I met my now ex-boyfriend. Relationships hadn't come naturally before. I was always hiding under baggy T-shirts and never put myself out there. He was a lovely person and I was over the moon when he showed interest in me. I never told him that I had been overweight, but when I posted my first weight loss video online, it unexpectedly went viral. I couldn't hide it any more. He told me that he was so proud of me and so happy that I was in a good place.
I kept up the boxing but I also gained an interest in building muscle and having a strong, curvy look. Despite upping my calories to put on muscle, I kept losing fat, and got down to 9st (59kg). I felt like I had made it.
It's fair to say I looked amazing, but how I felt didn't match. I discovered that having 'healthy' goals can spiral into intense behaviours and routines that don't make you feel good. I signed up for a bodybuilding competition, which involves a show at the end, and you're expected to be incredibly lean for it. I was overtraining, under-eating, and obsessing over my weight. I dropped to 8st 5lb (54kg), but it came at a cost. I lost touch with joy, and it led my relationship with my boyfriend to break down. I was deeply unhappy.
After the competition ended, I was in a bad spot, physically and emotionally. Food became a comfort for me again and I put on 1st 5lb (10kg) in just five weeks. As a fitness coach with a growing online business, I was terrified that people would judge me. But what I've learnt is that if you don't give up on hitting your goals and keep bouncing back when you slip up, then you'll get there in the end, even if it takes longer than you might have thought. Making progress isn't a straight line and when it comes to getting fit, it's common to push yourself too hard.
I went back to basics, focusing on boxing and walking. I ate whole foods most of the time and treated myself occasionally. I call it the 80/20 rule and it's still how I live now. If I ever slipped up and had a bigger meal than I'd planned, or missed a workout, I'd just go straight back to eating well right afterwards instead of slipping into a cycle of binging and restricting, or putting myself through punishing workouts. I rarely drink heavily, but I'll enjoy a glass of red wine or two on the weekends. My weight sits at around 8st 6lb (55kg). I'm the healthiest I've ever been and the most comfortable I've ever felt in my skin.
I got a degree in nutrition and personal training at the end of 2022, and shortly after I quit my full-time job as a travel agent to focus on my fitness coaching business. I love helping other women achieve their fitness goals and transform their confidence. I really want all of us to feel strong and free. Not long after I broke up with my ex last January, I went out on a limb and moved to Thailand. That's something the girl I was a few years ago would never have been confident enough to do. There I discovered Muay Thai, a type of martial art, which has become a huge passion of mine and what keeps me fit today.
Now I am just so happy with life, and the best part is that I don't feel like I'm giving up on anything at all to have a body that I feel good in. I have built a life that feels like mine.
Diet before
Breakfast
A sugary coffee from Starbucks.
Lunch
A bag of chips or a nut bar, or a takeaway from the food market.
Dinner
A Chinese takeaway.
Snacks
Chocolate, crisps, lollipops.
Diet after
Breakfast
A high-protein meal, usually overnight oats or eggs on toast with avocado, and a coffee.
Lunch
A rice bowl or salad bowl with lots of protein and fibre – a chicken bowl with wholegrain rice and vegetables.
Dinner
Lean protein with rice or carbs – a Mexican rice bowl with spicy chicken or beef, beans, avocado, salsa and sour cream.
Snacks
I have something sweet every day. Usually a yogurt bowl with some chocolate and fruit or an ice cream if it's a hot day and I want it.
Exercise before
Nothing, 3000-4000 steps per day if that. Exercise felt very overwhelming
Exercise after
10,000 steps a day, with a 25-minute walk early in the morning before work to clear my head. I train around five times a week – Muay Thai two to three times a week, plus strength training and some light treadmill running while I answer emails. The biggest difference is that I don't force it, as I've found what works for me.
