9 hours ago
'I Used To Dread The Gym With My Chronic Illness. These 3 Moves Transformed My Strength.'
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Back in 2020, at 32 years old, I had a stroke. As a result, I was bedridden for weeks and ultimately diagnosed with functional neurological disorder (FND), a chronic condition caused by changes in how the brain networks work, leading to unexpected and temporary paralysis of the limbs, seizures, and speech difficulties. My FND symptoms can last anywhere from hours to weeks at a time, and over the last five years since my diagnosis, I've frequently had to use a wheelchair.
There's not necessarily a specific trigger behind my FND symptoms, but I also struggle with endometriosis (when the inner lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus) and adenomyosis (when tissue from the lining of the uterus grows into the muscular wall of the uterus); for me, I've noticed that when symptoms of one condition worsen, the other condition usually isn't far behind.
Exercise isn't always accessible with a disabled body, and I don't have a ton of support from doctors, but I've found incredible workout inspiration on Instagram. Accounts like @micagetsit and @k.a.t.r.i.n.a_0fficial share exercise resources and modifications to traditional movements, along with inclusive accountability tips. For example, if running or jumping isn't accessible to me, I've learned to march in place.
Every week looks different depending on how I physically feel, but I try to move my body twice a week. I still get residual effects of paralysis in my legs, so lower body strength is a priority.
I typically do three moves per session at the gym, with three sets of 10 reps. Hip thrusts, hamstring curls, and leg presses are the staples in my routine to improve my lower body strength and stability, and I aim to slightly increase weight with each set. Most recently, I was able to do 10 reps of a 35-kilogram leg press (roughly 77 pounds). Gentle pilates stretching and core exercises are also part of my routine to help with overall mobility and stability.
On top of that, I walk outside as much as I'm able and love exploring different types of movements. For me, exercise isn't just about being in the gym and cranking out reps. It's about being grateful for my body, honoring its limitations, and moving in any way that feels good.
Working out has absolutely improved my endurance and made everyday tasks like gardening and going up the stairs easier, but I also take recovery very seriously. The steam room and sauna are my happy place—it's where I stretch, relax, and focus on controlled breathwork. Muscle spasms are a common symptom of FND, but the steam room and sauna have tremendously helped with my pain management. I also regularly use a vibration plate, which helps me alleviate muscular tension and boost circulation when I feel stiff or sore.
That said, despite my best efforts to feel good and strong, there are days or weeks when my chronic conditions require me to completely rest, and that's okay. I understand my body's limitations and listen when I need to scale back.
I also experiment with herbal medicine for symptom management and pain relief. I've been on and off various medications since my stroke, but they tend to make me sick and cause an unhealthy amount of weight loss. However, as a certified herbalist and aromatherapist, I take a variety of natural supplements and herbs to help with my symptom management and pain relief.
Capsules supplements are typically my go-to, but I also love infusing a hot bath with herbal essential oils. As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, lemon balm and St. John's wort have worked well for my mood management when I'm feeling on edge. I've also had success with peppermint and castor oil to help manage cramps caused by my endometriosis and adenomyosis.
First, I constantly remind myself that we only have one life, and I never give up. This might sound cliché, but having a stroke at such a young age taught me that life is short. I've accepted that I'm not the same person I was prior to my stroke in 2020, but my mission is to live my life to the fullest. Instead of focusing on the negative and dwelling on what I can't do, I learned to prioritize the positive and celebrate what I can. I owe it to myself to live the life I want to live.
I'll always have a chronic disease, but I will not let it define me—it's just one part of my story. My journey has been far from easy, and I know there will be future ups and downs, but I'm so proud of how far I've come. If there is one thing I've learned in the last five years since my stroke, it's that giving up is not an option. When things get hard, I focus on taking one day or one step at a time. Why? Because small steps often lead to big wins.
Secondly, if I feel down about myself or my training, I try to take a moment to appreciate that my body is resilient, and I'm capable of progress. Living with chronic health conditions is hard and scary, but I'm so proud of my body for overcoming the challenges. Doctors didn't think I would be able to walk again after my stroke, but through all the pain, uncertainty, and hospitalizations, here I am at 37, not only walking, but also lifting heavy weights.
My strength journey is full of setbacks since my FND flares still unexpectedly happen, but I've learned that progress in and out of the gym is not always linear. Progress is about listening to my body, honoring its current ability, and celebrating its resilience. My body may look and feel different than it once did, but I am still strong, capable, and very committed to living the life I want to live.
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