a day ago
Hawthorn's AFLW star Tilly Lucas-Rodd undergoes gender affirming top surgery
Over the AFLW off-season, Hawthorn star Tilly Lucas-Rodd underwent top surgery, a gender-affirming procedure that involves the removal of breast tissue in essentially a double mastectomy.
"People often have asked me, 'How do I feel now that I've had it' — post surgery seeing myself," Lucas-Rodd told ABC Sport.
"A lot of people [who've had the operation] have really big emotions and really big elation.
"But for me, it was like, 'this is how I've always looked when I saw myself' … This is what I've always thought and always seen internally."
Lucas-Rodd had their nipples put back on with nipple graphs, which some people post-surgery choose not to.
Before the surgery, 29-year-old midfielder-turned-halfback would tape their chest or wear a really tight binder, including when they were playing footy.
The compression would restrict their rib cage movement, make it hard to breathe and hurt their back.
"But the alternative was to feel really uncomfortable on a national stage playing sport — and something that's so public," Lucas-Rodd said, who is an inaugural AFLW player, former Hawks captain and All Australian.
Lucas-Rodd even played in a guernsey at least two sizes too big, to hide their body.
"Last year I wore, I think, a size medium or large when I was previously an extra small," they said.
"I had huge discomfort around my chest, huge dysphoria. It didn't match up with what I felt internally I should look like."
Now, Lucas-Rodd beams when thinking about playing this season, which starts in August.
"I've already felt that with training and being able to just be free, to not wear a sports bra, not wear a binder, just put my jumper on," they said.
"Going out onto the track in our training guernseys or our singlets, I just feel so, so happy and so just like me."
Lucas-Rodd is the first current AFLW player to get top surgery.
Former players El Chaston (Collingwood, now captain of Essendon's VFLW side) and Tori Grooves-Little (Gold Coast) underwent the procedure after being delisted from their respective clubs.
Two years ago, Lucas-Rodd was the third player to come out as non-binary, following in the footsteps of Grooves-Little and Carlton star Darcy Vescio.
Through a video posted to Hawthorn's website, Lucas-Rodd told fans: "I don't really identify strongly as my assigned gender at birth, which is female.
"I don't really feel strongly that I fit into that label as a female, and at the same time I don't feel like I'm a male, either. I guess I'm in between that. So for me, the label 'non-binary' feels most comfortable about how I identify in terms of my gender."
Some people who identify as non-binary also use trans rhetoric, which Lucas-Rodd said they are exploring in their self-identity.
"Obviously I'm non-binary, but there's transmasc," they said.
"But it's something I'm still exploring and getting to and I think that's awesome.
Having other players be outspoken about their surgery journeys helped Lucas-Rodd. They often messaged Chaston leading into their own procedure for advice on recovery timeline and the process.
"I was messaging a friend a few weeks ago, and at first I wasn't going to come out publicly, and they were just curious, they said, 'Why wouldn't you?' It really made me reflect. What am I scared of?" they said.
"And then seeing two other people that have come from the same path of AFLW do it. I was like, 'Why can't I?' They've done it and they were accepted. So I could be the next one to do that."
A lot of people in Lucas-Rodd's own life don't know they've had the surgery yet.
"How do you bring it up?" they said. "It's daunting having to come out to individual people".
While their close friends at the club knew about the surgery prior to it — defender Jenna Richarson was in the hospital recovery room — the rest of the Hawks' playing group and staff found out at preseason camp.
"I knew that we were going to be doing water based activities and things like that — and also, being football, you do a lot of recovery, and are in the water a lot, in your bathing suits together — and for me, now the greatest thing is I don't have to wear anything on top," they said.
"So I knew going into camp that I'd kind of have to tell the team.
"I messaged the group and they were amazing. I saw them the next day at footy, and there were a few questions and lots of interest … But everyone just met me with such love and acceptance."
It is, however, a daunting prospect for Lucas-Rodd having the wider AFL community learn about their story.
"Nerve-racking," is the word they use.
"Whenever I've spoken out on queer issues, whether it be Pride Round or when I came out as non binary a few years ago, the comments that were hard to read were from probably not the AFLW community, it was the AFL and the broader Australian community," they said.
"There was some horrendous stuff (on X and Facebook). So I've definitely spoken to my family and friends about that, that possibility the broader AFL community will now have comment. It's not going to be in my safe space of just AFLW fans.
"But when you're doing it for something that's bigger than yourself, you kind of take that and you accept that that's going to happen.
"And I've got really supportive people in my close circle that will shower me with love, and put their arms around me."
Lucas-Rodd wanted to share their story for others who might be able to relate or feel seen.
"For people that might not be able to have these conversations, might not be able to start this process of gender affirming care, because they can't have those conversations with people in their own lives," they said.
"It's also to show gender diverse and trans people that there is a place for them in sport.
"Coming out publicly with top surgery, people will say and do what they want, but I'm trying to show people that no matter what gender you are, no matter how you express that, no matter anything about you, that you belong in sport and you belong in sport at a professional and elite level.
"That's a big thing for me … being like regardless of your gender and how you express that, there is this place for you in sport."
The main emotion tied to Lucas-Rodd's surgery is joy.
"If I see myself, especially shirtless, I'm like, 'This rocks,'" they said.
"Being on the other side now, it's a huge relief. You can kind of build it up in your head, and obviously there's nervousness and anxiety, and that's a real thing.
"There's real reasons you feel that. But being on the other side, yeah, it's amazing."
