9 hours ago
"I'm Too Old For That Stuff": Women Are Revealing The Things They "Stopped Pretending To Enjoy" After Turning 30, And, Honestly, I Get It
As we get older, it makes total sense to change our minds about how we feel about certain past habits. Maybe you used to tolerate wearing uncomfortable shoes because they matched your outfit, but you will only wear sneakers now that you're older. So, we asked the BuzzFeed Community: "Women, what's something you stopped pretending to enjoy after turning 30?" and the answers are incredibly honest. Here's what they said below:
1."Putting up with men's crap. If a relationship isn't bringing anything positive into my life, peace! I used to stay in crappy relationships because I kept thinking 'Maybe he'll change' or 'I've invested blah time in this relationship, I need to make it work.' I learned that he'll never change and that I'd rather be single than force myself to stay in a toxic relationship. My mental health is my priority now."
—missmissymaria143
2."Keeping my legs shaved all the dang time. Now, it's only if I know the legs will be showing."
—nanablanca
"I'm working my way up to stop shaving my legs. I don't see the point and it takes so much time and effort, and razors are really fucking expensive. And for what? Because razor companies decided they could increase their profits by over 50% if they convinced the world that women should be hairless. Dafuq?!"
—joyfulowl584
3."I stopped caring about looking foolish when I'm doing something I like, such as dancing. At a party one night in my mid-20s, I struck up a conversation with a delightful, shy violet. She was saying how much she loved a song, but didn't want to dance because nobody else was. So, I started dancing. I wanted her to feel comfortable, so I tried to be goofy and just have fun. It was a blast! She felt comfortable and started dancing, as did several others. It made me feel really good to help someone else overcome their fear that way, and we both had fun. Over 20 years later, she and I are best friends and go dancing at least once a month. We don't care if we look like idiots! Since that night, I genuinely stopped caring if others thought I looked silly."
—spasticentropy
4."Underwire bras are nothing but torture devices and should be banished from existence."
—ladysingstheblues
5."This will sound silly, but layovers when traveling. Get me directly from point A to point B. I don't have the patience to deal with airports that are more crowded than necessary."
—Anonymous, 30, Chicago
6."Playing dumb around guys. It's so screwed up. I realized I learned it as a way not to incur my grandfather's/mother's disapproval. After it occurred to me what I was doing, it still took years to adjust. I still have to fight initial responses, but much less of the time. On a positive note, I understand my mother's self-loathing behavior better. She was taught, but didn't unlearn. My sisters and I have vowed to and are breaking that cycle."
—fizzy59
7."Double dates. I no longer agree to them. Every time my husband tells me that he promised one of his friends that 'we'll get together sometime with the wives,' I bluntly refuse. Going out on a double date means that instead of staying home in my sweat pants, where I'm happy, I am forced to doll up and then try to entertain some woman I've never met before and with whom I have nothing in common. Meanwhile, the men guffaw and have a good ol' time, excluding us from their conversation completely. Nope! Never again! I'm done being uncomfortable so that you can look good to your golf buddies or coworkers or whoever."
"Men, please note that not all women are the same, and we don't all just get along automatically. Please stop promising your buddies that we'll hang out without asking us first, thanks."
—Anonymous
8."I will not back down on my politics anymore. I live in the middle of the Reddest of Red States. I used to just keep my mouth shut when people would start spouting their hatred, homophobia, or racism, because I was scared of getting hurt. I used to look the other way when I saw people speaking down to others. I used to hide the fact that I like witchy stuff and believe more in pagan history than in Christianity. Not anymore."
—abourque
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9."Hours-long sex marathons! Just hurry it up and get on with it, I've got laundry to fold and dishes to put away!"
—Crystal, 38
10."40+ here, and I've stopped caring what other women think of me. It is incredibly liberating when you stop wasting your precious energy on whether or not people will like you. I have who I need in my life, and it is enough."
—mushyhouse228
11."Loud bars and clubs. I've never liked them! The music is usually not great, so we don't feel like dancing, and then we can't talk because no one can hear each other."
—Anonymous, 35, Los Angeles
12."I am over super tight shirts and crop tops, but I can't seem to find just a relaxed fit shirt."
—quirkyraptor53
13."Loyalty. I wasted my youth dealing with people I should've cut off as soon as I left home because 'FaMiLy.' There's nothing wrong with faithfulness as long as it's reciprocated. But nobody — and I mean NOBODY — deserves your loyalty except you."
—certified_drapetomaniac
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14."Smoking weed. Smoked a few times since I was a teen. By the time I was in my 30s, I realized I never truly liked it."
—Anonymous, 34, New York
15."I'm five years into teaching, and the pressure to come in early and stay multiple hours after school is overwhelming STILL. One of the things I started saying no to this year, now that I'm 30, is staying later after school more than two days a week. I'm forced to when it comes to meetings, but otherwise I deserve to go home!"
—sweetpea95
16."Anything on a weekday. Doing stuff after working 8-9 hours, sitting at a desk in front of a screen? Why does everything feel exhausting after work? I don't even want to cook dinner after work because I feel so fucking exhausted."
—Anonymous, 30, Illinois
17."Running. It seemed like women love running. I don't, I tried. I found weightlifting and fell in love, and even went on to compete."
—bringbackclippy
18."Everyone keeps telling me to date. However, I find it utterly exhausting. While it would be nice to find a lifelong partner, I'm ok being alone. I don't understand why that is hard for people to understand."
—grouchybutterfly108
19."Not wearing heels. Dressing for comfort, not style. Not watching TV or movies I don't like or I'm not interested in. Not drinking as much as it's not worth it."
—jaclynjoanb
20."What have I stopped doing? I stopped passing up buying something I really like because I should be 'saving my money.' I have found my regrets are not things that I have done or purchased, but things I failed to do or didn't buy. The world has changed, so many things are uncertain; I realize I should enjoy every minute I have, and understand it could all end at any time. I've stopped decluttering. It's my stuff, I like it, so I'm keeping it here in my house."
—crispymeat752
21."After 40 years of cooking dinner for my family (and hubby is retired), I decided I was tired of cooking every single day. I suggested, since now we're a family of three (our son is still home due to a disability), we should take turns and each take a night or two per week, and they can make whatever they want on their nights. Well, my hubby stepped up, but my son didn't. Now, if I cook two nights a week, it's a lot. Hubby does most of it, and I have zero regrets. He doesn't seem to mind, and neither do I. Best decision I ever made!"
—ru4real
22."Faking orgasms to bolster a man's fragile ego."
—rebegee
"Add BJ's here. I don't enjoy doing it. Never have. I have neck problems, jaw problems, and have just overall found it gross. When it comes to sex, if we're not BOTH enjoying it, I'm not going to do it. There are plenty of things we can do that feel good to both of us."—truthmatters
23."Attending events I don't want to go to out of some sense of obligation. My second cousin's wedding? Nope. I'll send my regards and stay home, thanks."
—jessethecowgirl
"Totally agree. Plus, I think a lot of people are invited to weddings out of obligation. I certainly invited some cousins because I felt it was rude just to invite the ones I'm closer to."
—noimpillagingeverybody
24."Football! I stopped pretending like I was interested. So freeing!"
—meakseas
25."Chasing the corporate ladder. I want to spend time with my family and loved ones while earning a living. Not living to work 80-90 hours a week and glimpse my kids after they've gone to bed for a title. No thanks. Been there, done that, not going back."
—Anonymous, 38, California
26."Going anywhere that doesn't have a parking lot. I live in the suburbs of a major metro area, and there's no way I'm getting dressed up, leaving my house, driving downtown, finding street parking or $30 ramp parking, paying $60 for a meal, then reversing out and getting home after 11. I'm too old for that stuff! Let's go to the place down the street with free parking and 2-for-1 drinks, please!"
—katkat007
27."Brunch. While it might be lovely to some, I just don't understand or have the patience for a weird breakfast and lunch hybrid. Maybe I'm a creature of habit, but it feels overrated, overpriced, and mainly for people who want a reason to drink a gallon of watered-down mimosas on a Sunday."
—Anonymous, 43, Washington, DC
Women, share with us the thing you stopped pretending to enjoy after turning 30 in the comments or anonymously in the Google form below.
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