2 days ago
How To Help New Fathers Deal With Sleep Deprivation
(Original Caption) Man waking up to alarm clock. Undated Photograph. BPA2# 1121
When we talk about new parents and sleep deprivation, the spotlight typically shines on mothers. And rightfully so: postpartum recovery, breastfeeding schedules, and hormonal shifts create a perfect storm of sleepless nights for new moms. But, the lesser known issue is the ways in which sleep deprivation impacts new fathers.
While mothers navigate the immediate physical and biological demands of caring for a newborn, fathers experience what experts call the "residual effect" of sleep disruption. It's not just about being tired, but research reveals that this sleep deprivation has serious implications for fathers' overall health and wellbeing, creating a ripple effect that touches every aspect of their lives.
A systematic review published in February 2022 examined research into the effects of children's sleep patterns (up to age 12) on fathers' health and wellbeing. The findings were clear: when children are poor sleepers, it directly results in poorer health and wellbeing among dads. This isn't just correlation, but a documented cause-and-effect relationship that deserves serious attention.
What makes this particularly challenging is that sleep disruption significantly increases the risk of developing anxiety, depression, and paternal postnatal depression (PPND). Up to 25% of new fathers develop PPND, a staggering statistic that highlights just how widespread this issue has become. For context, this compares to the "baby blues" that affect up to 80% of new mothers, though the experiences differ in important ways.
BERLIN, GERMANY - AUGUST 13: Symbolic photo on the subject of migraines and headaches. A man rubs ... More his aching head with his hand on August 13, 2024 in Berlin, Germany. (Photo Illustration by Ute Grabowsky/Photothek via Getty Images)
According to Meg O'Leary, sleep expert and founder of A Restful Night, "Both parents are typically sleep deprived in the beginning, even though their experiences postpartum are fundamentally different." She points to a particularly modern dilemma: "It's common to see fathers navigating delayed (or even no) paternity leave. This leaves dad the impossible task of focusing at work with very little sleep, but also managing the guilt of having a partner at home caring for the baby solo."
This creates an exhausting psychological tug-of-war. New fathers often feel pulled in opposite directions, with their duty to their family and their job feeling at conflict with each other. Unlike mothers who may have maternity leave to adjust to their new reality, many fathers are expected to maintain their professional performance while operating on minimal sleep.
Perinatal Mental Health Treatment Specialist Marilyn Cross Coleman offers additional insight into how fathers' sleep challenges differ from mothers': "Many new dads face sleep challenges that are like those new moms experience but differ in important ways. New moms have a different biological response to their babies due to shifts in postpartum hormones, the demands of breastfeeding and default caregiving responsibilities, while new dads often experience sleep deprivation that's more erratic."
The unpredictability factor cannot be understated. While new parents often attempt to "tag team" night feedings, Coleman notes that "it often lacks a consistent rhythm making sleep unpredictable." This erratic pattern can be more psychologically taxing than consistent sleep deprivation because the body and mind never know what to expect.
AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND - OCTOBER 18: Safe in the loving arms of his Dad, David Snook, onemonth old ... More baby boy Zane Flavell is recovering from Whooping Cough in Middlemore Hospital. On the bed his 13month old brother Marley is fast HERALD. (Photo by)
Perhaps most poignantly, Coleman also observes how new dads feel excluded from the bond that mothers have with their new infants. While parenting an infant is generally intuitive for new moms, it can be less-so with dads, which may lead to increased stress and disrupted sleep for dads.
What to Expect parenting experts note that new fathers commonly experience emotional exhaustion and feeling run-down due to sleep deprivation. The symptoms can manifest in various ways, including persistent decreased mood or irritability, decreased ability to function at work, inability to be present with their baby or partner, postpartum insomnia, and chronic physical symptoms like headaches or gastrointestinal upset.
The good news is that there are effective strategies to help new fathers get better rest. The most effective approach involves sharing night duties by taking turns with wake-ups, diaper changes, and feeding (using expressed milk or formula once breastfeeding is established), while practicing good sleep hygiene with a dark, quiet bedroom and avoiding screens before bed.
(Original Caption) 1/2/1953-New York, NY- A retailing store of singular distinction is the Lewis & ... More Conger Sleep Shop. An insomniac's paradise, the shop is the only one of its kind in the world, selling items devoted exclusively to wooing comfort in bed and good old sleep. Television comic Wally Cox, who is sometimes troubled with uneasy slumberings (even as you and I), was caught trying out some of the newest bedtime innovations. Photo shows: Wally Cox catches up on some pertinent readings while wearing an electric facial mask that soothes aches and pains with gentle heat. His head rests on a neck pillow that props and supports the head for reading at a good angle.
Don't underestimate the power of accepting help. When family members or friends offer to watch the baby, take them up on it and use that time to nap. Consider practical adjustments like moving the bassinet to your bedroom for shorter night trips.
O'Leary recommends strategic napping: "When overnight sleep is broken, try to squeeze a nap in during the day - even if it's just once. Short daytime rest helps buffer against full exhaustion. This is a chance to brush up on your sleep hygiene too, take advantage of tools like white noise and blackout shades as you implement them for your baby!"
The other obvious ways to improve sleep include no caffeine after a certain time (no matter how tempting it may be!). Apps like BetterSleep can provide guided support to manage stress and help with deep breathing exercises that are a good starting point.
New fathers should seek professional help if sleep disturbances occur alongside warning signs like persistent mood changes, inability to function effectively at work or home, or new physical symptoms. As Coleman notes: "While more resources are becoming available for new fathers, they often remain underutilized. Many perinatal mental health professionals are trained to treat new dads, and there are many who specialize in paternal mental health. Postpartum Support International (PSI) offers several virtual support groups for new dads, often at no or low cost."
For additional support, books like "The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year" by Armin Brott are often found helpful and easy to digest for new fathers navigating this challenging transition.
The journey of new fatherhood doesn't have to be suffered in silence. By acknowledging the real impact of sleep deprivation on fathers and implementing practical strategies for better rest, new dads can better support both themselves and their families during this transformative time.
