3 days ago
Brush with death led couple to marry - 45 years after first date
A loved-up couple is tying the knot more than four decades down the line after coming face-to-face with a "brutal reality". Jean Whittaker and Greg Banks fell in love nearly 45 years ago, but never thought about getting married until a shocking brush with death spurred them to enshrine their relationship in law.
The retired civil servants enjoyed a peaceful life with their pets until November 2018, when Greg, 74, was struck down with a severe spinal infection that left him fighting for his life in hospital.
He survived a cardiac arrest - but when he woke up, he found his entire body had been paralysed below the shoulders, leaving him only able to move his head.
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Jean, 70, said: "Greg started having difficulty walking and difficulty speaking, and his back was hurting. He had a sore throat and over a couple of weeks he got worse, and eventually we got an appointment with our GP. But the GP thought it was muscular or a side effect of his statin medication.
"That was a Friday morning. By Monday morning, it had all gone wrong, and he was on the floor. By this point he couldn't get upstairs to bed. He was lying on the settee.
"During the night, he became paralysed completely. When the ambulance crew arrived, he was on the floor and couldn't move. They had no idea what it was."
Greg was rushed to Salford Royal Hospital, where an MRI scan found a huge epidural abscess covering his spine "from top to bottom".
He was later transferred to the spinal unit in Southport Hospital, where he has lived for the past eight years, with Jean visiting from Walkden in Salford, Greater Manchester, six days a week.
The pair are finally getting married today - 44 years, five months, and 23 days since their first date after meeting at work, at what was then the Department of Social Security.
Jean said: "The day John Lennon was shot was our first date. I do recollect that being the overwhelming news of the day.
"We don't really have an answer why we waited so long. While Greg has been in the spinal unit, we've had a lot of ups and downs, mainly downs. He'd only been there one week when he had a respiratory arrest and had to be resuscitated. So it has given us a lot of thought.
"We've been through a lot of trauma. He developed sepsis and was in a coma for six months in 2022, and we thought, We're not getting any younger, and life's not getting any longer - let's get married. It was being brought up against the brutal reality of life and death that got us to think about it."
The ceremony took place at the Waterfront Southport Hotel and was attended by Greg's nursing team from Southport Hospital, who have supported him for eight years.
Jean said: "Things have been very difficult for Greg and very difficult for me. It's more than life-changing; it's life-shattering. He's a very stoical person. He did a degree in philosophy during his student days, and he doesn't lie there asking, 'Why me?' He just takes it on the chin and tries to get on with his life as best he can.
"He has the warmest of relationships with his nursing team, and quite a lot of them are coming with us to Manchester when we finally get back there. That's how close we are. They have gone a long, long way to getting Greg through this, especially during the terrible lockdown period when nobody could go in, not even me."
She said they would not be having a honeymoon due to Greg's medical needs - but that they were looking forward to finally getting back to normality, as they have spent the past several years making a fully accessible house for Greg back in Walkden.
Jean said: "Greg needs so much medical intervention; if we're not in a hospital, it's very difficult. In the future we might be able to arrange a honeymoon. But we're just going to be happy and thank our lucky stars we have gotten to this stage and look forward to Greg getting back to his home this summer.
"We've lived here for 40 years, so we know all the neighbours. It's a road where people stay a long time, and everybody is looking forward to him coming back."
