Latest news with #secrecy
The Sun
27-05-2025
- Health
- The Sun
I went on husband's phone and found naked photo of my daughter in a secret folder – I'm disgusted and saddened
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband has behaved in the most depraved way and wants me to keep his seedy secret to myself. We tied the knot seven years ago but it's a second marriage for us both. We are in our mid fifties and he has daughters aged 22 and 20, while I have a daughter of 19 and a son who is almost 16. My husband got a new phone and I was having a clear out and decided to see whether I could sell some old mobiles online. I thought I should check if they were clear of any data, but what I found on my husband's recent phone shocked me to the core. There was a file called 'private' and, when I opened it, the first thing I saw was a photograph of my daughter — naked. He had obviously taken it without her knowledge. There were also sordid snaps of him with different men, having sex with them or them performing sexual acts on him. There was film footage as well. I feel so disgusted and saddened. When he came in from work, I confronted him immediately and his whole world came crashing down. He said he didn't know how my daughter's picture had ended up on his phone. He claimed she must have put it there. There's no way she knew he had taken this photo. I could tell he was lying. At his request, I have agreed not to tell his girls about him meeting other men, but why should I protect him? He has hurt us all. DEIDRE SAYS: I'm so sorry. He's not the person you thought you married. He has betrayed all of you – especially your daughter. There is no acceptable reason that would explain why he has a naked photograph of her. I'm sorry, but you have to assume he has behaved as a voyeur and taken photos without consent, which is illegal. I would urge you to talk to an organisation called Stop It Now ( 0808 1000 900), which can give you advice. You need support to work out your next steps but, as you are already realising, this man does not deserve protection. Family secrets have a habit of coming out, so put your focus on your daughter rather than worrying about him. This is his mess to get out of. My support pack, How Counselling Can Help, will show you where to find emotional support. CRUSHED BY HIS GUSHING LOVE LETTER TO OLD FLAME DEAR DEIDRE: A LETTER my husband wrote to an ex-girlfriend 30 years ago has broken my heart. I stumbled across it when we were clearing through some paperwork. Our children have grown up, so we are selling up and buying a smaller property nearer to our daughter. I saw an envelope with his writing on the front, addressed to his ex. After showing it to my husband, who is 58, he told me he never had the courage to send it, but he had written it to her after they'd broken up, just before he met me. In the letter, he described how wonderful she was, how intoxicating her perfume was and how empty he felt when she left his bed in the morning. He has never written anything like that to me or ever expressed such romantic feelings. I feel so upset. Am I overthinking this? DEIDRE SAYS: You can't deny your own feelings. You've now seen a side of him that you might not have experienced yourself, so you are bound to be comparing yourself to her – even if it was many years ago. Be open and honest with him about how the letter makes you feel. He may be able to reassure you that he was a very different person then and his ex is history – and you are the love of his life. My support pack, Dealing With Jealousy, will help you and show you where to find support. WRONGLY CHARGED IN HI-TECH CAR PARK DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been fined for parking in my local car park when I didn't even find a space. The ticket machine had been replaced with cameras. I'm a man of 76 and I have used this car park for years without any issue, but that was when you could put money in the machine. Now, cameras record visits and apparently you need to type in your registration plate on the machine instead. There was a fete in the town so it was very busy that day. I drove up the three floors and couldn't find anywhere to park, so I drove out again. There were a lot of cars ahead of me, so it took a little while, but I didn't register my car in the machine. I have now received a letter about me staying in the car park for 17 minutes and not paying the fee. I don't know how to fight it. DEIDRE SAYS: You have a right to challenge a parking ticket if there was no parking space. If you have another receipt from an alternative car park around that time, it might help substantiate your case. You can write back to the issuer of the fine explaining the circumstances, or use a template from To find the template, put 'parking fines' in the search bar. Or you can make an appointment to go in and see someone if you prefer – but take your paperwork with you. LOVER WANTS TO LIVE IN UKRAINE DEAR DEIDRE: THE love of my life might have to move back home to Ukraine. I met her when she came over here under the Government's programme to help Ukrainian civilians after Russia's 2022 invasion. I work as an account manager and she joined our workplace in our logistics department. Her English is excellent and we hit it off when we were introduced. She is 38 and I'm 41. I was single, so I offered to show her around the local area at the weekend. From there, we started dating, then she moved in with me. It's been amazing to love her and feel loved by her, and I could really see a future together. She worries about her parents, though. They're now in their seventies and not in good health. She has been back to see them twice since she first arrived in the UK. But now she has decided she has to go back to Ukraine for longer, to help look after them. Although she has asked me to go too, I have a comfortable life here and I don't want to go to a war-torn country. I don't want to lose her, though. DEIDRE SAYS: Of course you don't, and moving to Ukraine would bring up all kinds of difficulties, not least because of the war. Your girlfriend is being pulled in two directions, and going back to see her parents might help her feel more connected to them, but in time she may even decide to return to the UK. Even if she were to stay there permanently, you could visit her to see if you can envisage yourself living there. If you can't, you're going to have to make a decision about whether you want to have a long-distance relationship, or accept this won't work. Discuss your options with a counsellor through the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy ( 01455 883 300).
Washington Post
10-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Washington Post
My dad has two sugar babies and asked me to lie to my mom about them
Arts & Entertainments My dad has two sugar babies and asked me to lie to my mom May 10, 2025 | 7:10 PM GMT Washington Post advice columnist Carolyn Hax tells a reader what to do when their father asks them not to tell their mother about the sex workers who he is financing.
Bloomberg
07-05-2025
- Politics
- Bloomberg
How New Popes Are Chosen: Secrets of the Conclave, Explained
For centuries, the head of the Roman Catholic Church has been chosen through what's known as a papal conclave. The proceedings are cloaked in secrecy, making them the subject of speculation and intrigue. On Wednesday, 133 senior members of the clergy, known as cardinals, will head into the Vatican's Sistine Chapel to cast ballots. They aren't allowed to leave or communicate with the outside world until they've reached an agreement. The process can last days, weeks, sometimes years.
CNA
07-05-2025
- Politics
- CNA
Conclave to choose the next leader of the Catholic Church is set to begin
The solemn process of selecting a new pope is set to begin on Wednesday (May 7) at the Vatican as 133 cardinals prepare to enter into seclusion for the conclave. In the afternoon, they will form a procession to enter the Sistine Chapel and take their solemn oath of secrecy. Everyone not involved in the conclave will then be ordered to leave and the chapel doors will be closed. The first vote may be cast in the evening. Trent Murray reports from Rome.
Forbes
06-05-2025
- Business
- Forbes
Why Nearly One-Third Of Employees Keep AI-Driven Productivity A Secret
Employees are keeping AI productivity a secret at work. getty As organizations invest billions in AI and employees scramble to implement it, there's a new phenomenon taking shape. Many corporate professionals are quietly leveraging AI tools on a daily basis. Not only that—they are keeping it a secret. According to Ivanti's recent 2025 Technology at Work Report, nearly one-third of employees using AI tools at work keep it a secret from their employers. This revelation comes at a time when AI adoption has increased dramatically—from 26% of employees using AI at work in 2024 to 42% in 2025. The obvious question is, what is driving professionals to conceal their AI usage? Here's a look at the psychology behind the secrecy and what this hidden AI productivity means for the future of work. The research uncovered three primary reasons employees keep their AI productivity hidden: 36% of employees enjoy having a "secret advantage" over their colleagues. In competitive workplace environments, AI tools provide an edge that some people are reluctant to share. 30% worry that their jobs may be eliminated if employers discover that AI can perform portions of their work. This fear reflects broader anxieties about automation and job security that accompany the increase in AI use. According to a Pew Research survey, over half of workers (52%) worry about the future impact of AI in the workplace, while 32% think it will lead to fewer job opportunities in the long run. 27% experience what researchers call "AI-fueled imposter syndrome," expressing that they "don't want people to question their ability." This psychological dimension reveals how deeply intertwined our professional identities are with the work we produce. While companies invest heavily in AI implementations, they often miss valuable insights about how employees actually leverage these tools to boost productivity. This disconnect is especially evident in the IT sector. Despite 74% of IT professionals using AI tools, fewer than half of organizations deploy AI and automation for scenarios where it proves highly effective: 42% use AI for predictive IT maintenance 41% employ it for automating routine self-service tasks 36% utilize AI for detecting traffic anomalies and threats Beyond that, employees are concerned that increased productivity will lead to more work without additional recognition or rewards. According to the research, 52% of office workers agree with the statement, "When I work more efficiently, my employer gives me more work." This creates an incentive structure where employees feel punished rather than rewarded for productivity gains. It also explains why 46% of office workers report using AI tools that aren't employer-provided. When productivity enhancements are perceived as potentially harmful to one's career, employees naturally seek solutions that stay under the radar. A serious downside to the unauthorized use of AI tools is that it creates significant security vulnerabilities. Employees using unapproved AI platforms may inadvertently expose sensitive company data to systems that don't meet organizational security standards. As Brooke Johnson, Ivanti's Chief Legal Counsel and SVP of HR and Security, notes, "Employees adopting this technology without proper guidelines or approval could be fueling threat actors, violating company contracts, and risking valuable company IP." This security concern adds urgency to addressing the secrecy of AI use. Bridging the AI Trust Gap For organizations that want to utilize the full potential of AI while addressing employee concerns, several approaches can help bridge the trust gap: Clear guidelines about acceptable AI tool usage can help employees feel more comfortable using these technologies openly. These policies should address data security concerns while encouraging innovation. Address the "productivity penalty" perception Organizations need to ensure that employees who enhance their productivity through AI are rewarded rather than simply assigned more work. This might involve revisiting performance metrics and compensation structures. Provide comprehensive AI training The research found that 44% of professionals say their companies have invested in AI, but employees lack adequate training to use these tools effectively. Closing this skills gap can help normalize AI usage. Recognize the psychological implications Addressing imposter syndrome requires creating a culture where using AI tools is seen as skill enhancement rather than skill replacement . Leaders should acknowledge that AI proficiency is a valuable skill and celebrate employees who effectively leverage these tools to deliver better outcomes. Transforming Hidden AI Productivity The fact that nearly one-third of employees keep their AI-driven productivity a secret represents both a challenge and an opportunity for organizations. The challenge lies in addressing employee concerns, including fears about job security, professional identity, and the "productivity penalty." The opportunity comes in maximizing the innovative ways employees already use AI at work. As AI transforms how work gets done, organizations must rethink how they measure and reward productivity. The future belongs not to organizations that simply deploy AI tools but to those that develop new productivity models focused on outcomes rather than processes.
