Latest news with #toxicfamily
Yahoo
14 hours ago
- General
- Yahoo
Woman Says Her Boyfriend's Mom Called Her a 'Backup Plan' in Front of Him, Then Claimed She Was 'Just Teasing'
A Reddit user is being encouraged to "ditch" her relationship after her boyfriend's mom called her a "backup plan" at a family dinner The 24-year-old woman claimed her boyfriend did not come to her defense after the comment was made, but rather told her she was "overreacting" Fellow Reddit users expressed concern for her future, warning her that this behavior likely would not stop no matter how serious the relationship getsA woman says her boyfriend's mom has never liked her — and it's really starting to take a toll on her. In a recent Reddit post, the 24-year-old woman claimed that in the year or so since she began dating her boyfriend, 26, his mom has made her feelings crystal clear. But a recent family dinner at his parents' house went too far. "Things were fine until his mom started reminiscing about his 'first real girlfriend,' saying things like, 'She was so classy and put together… you know, not everyone has that natural polish,' " the woman wrote. The woman then said his mom smiled at her and said, 'But you're a solid backup plan. Some men just want simple, and that's okay too!" The comment left the woman 'stunned,' and she said her boyfriend 'just kind of awkwardly chuckled and didn't say anything.' Since he didn't step up for her, the woman said that she asked her boyfriend's mom if she could 'please not refer to me as a backup plan." But in response, the woman wrote that his mom told her she was "just teasing" and to not "be so sensitive." The woman 'quietly excused' herself from the dinner table and later on, her boyfriend suggested that maybe she had 'overreacted' to his mom's comment. 'I try to be polite and not take things personally, but it's starting to wear me down,' the woman explained in her post before asking if she was in the wrong. Many of the commenters were critical of the mom's 'passive aggressive' behavior. One commenter suggested the woman 'rethink the relationship,' noting that the mom likely will never change. 'At best it's going to be constant low level conflict,' they wrote, 'and at worst he's going to have to choose between you. It might be the first time he's been in this position so he could learn to stand up to her but it takes a lot so make sure he has it before you commit.' Another person agreed, noting that the mom 'was way out of line' with her comment. They also encouraged the woman to 'have another conversation' with her boyfriend about the situation. 'If he isn't going to defend you with mom, it will never get better - and will give mom the green light to be as nasty as she wants with you for as long as your relationship lasts,' the commenter wrote. 'Are you sure you want this in your life?' Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Several other people recommended the woman reconsider her relationship too. 'A boy will awkwardly chuckle and ignore the insensitive, hurtful comments that his mommy makes to his girlfriend,' one commenter wrote. 'A man will recognize that despite this being his mother, her nasty, hurtful, passive-aggressive comments are inappropriate, disrespectful, unproductive, and unnecessary." Read the original article on People
Yahoo
24-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Dear Abby: My husband won't stop my in-laws from trash-talking us
DEAR ABBY: My in-laws have repeatedly attempted to destroy my marriage. My husband knows they trash-talk us to family, thinking we don't know it, but he won't put up any meaningful boundaries or check them whatsoever. I have lost all respect for him because he lies to me, telling me he has confronted them, when I know for a fact he hasn't. We separated over this issue, and he spent four years dragging his feet until I got sick of his stalling and began dating to get him to act. He wanted to reconcile, so I made the terms of getting back together clear: Confront his family about their toxic behavior, get therapy for his self-esteem issues and finish working on our house so we could sell it and move away from our neighbor, the heroin dealer who had been harassing us for years. He finished the house, and after two years on and off the market, I ended up selling it. But the confrontation with his family never happened. I still catch them talking trash about us, and he has refused to go to therapy. I've been through therapy and anger management and have come a long way. But he's firmly entrenched in his dysfunction and doesn't see or care how it affects me. I spent the first 10 years of our marriage being an unprioritized afterthought of a wife. I refuse to continue to be that person after everything we've been through. When is enough enough? — AT A CROSSROADS IN THE SOUTH DEAR CROSSROADS: Enough was enough when you finally realized your husband wasn't going to change and accepted that he will never be strong enough to draw the line with his abusive family. I'm surprised your marriage has lasted this long. DEAR ABBY: How do you handle a friend who never stops talking? My longtime friend has always been a good storyteller, but as we become older, she hijacks every conversation when we get together. She's oblivious to verbal or body cues that the rest of us are done with the 'conversation' she has chosen and would like to move on. If someone is able to get a word in edgewise, she immediately returns to the previous subject. I come away from gatherings feeling angry and frustrated. Is there a way to address this without blowing up a lifelong relationship? — MUZZLED IN THE MIDWEST DEAR MUZZLED: I don't think there is. You stated that your longtime friend has always been a good storyteller. It is possible that, as you all are growing older, she has begun having cognitive problems. It may also be a reason why she's not picking up on social cues. Would her spouse (if she has one) or her children (if she has any) have noticed any changes? Start asking. And if the response you receive is that this is 'just the way she is,' for the sake of your sanity, see her less often. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Yahoo
24-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
DEAR ABBY: In-laws have been a constant source of tension for couple
DEAR ABBY: My in-laws have repeatedly attempted to destroy my marriage. My husband knows they trash-talk us to family, thinking we don't know it, but he won't put up any meaningful boundaries or check them whatsoever. I have lost all respect for him because he lies to me, telling me he has confronted them, when I know for a fact he hasn't. We separated over this issue, and he spent four years dragging his feet until I got sick of his stalling and began dating to get him to act. He wanted to reconcile, so I made the terms of getting back together clear: Confront his family about their toxic behaviour, get therapy for his self-esteem issues and finish working on our house so we could sell it and move away from our neighbour, the heroin dealer who had been harassing us for years. He finished the house, and after two years on and off the market, I ended up selling it. But the confrontation with his family never happened. I still catch them talking trash about us, and he has refused to go to therapy. I've been through therapy and anger management and have come a long way. But he's firmly entrenched in his dysfunction and doesn't see or care how it affects me. I spent the first 10 years of our marriage being an unprioritized afterthought of a wife. I refuse to continue to be that person after everything we've been through. When is enough enough? — AT A CROSSROADS IN THE SOUTH DEAR CROSSROADS: Enough was enough when you finally realized your husband wasn't going to change and accepted that he will never be strong enough to draw the line with his abusive family. I'm surprised your marriage has lasted this long. DEAR ABBY: How do you handle a friend who never stops talking? My longtime friend has always been a good storyteller, but as we become older, she hijacks every conversation when we get together. She's oblivious to verbal or body cues that the rest of us are done with the 'conversation' she has chosen and would like to move on. If someone is able to get a word in edgewise, she immediately returns to the previous subject. I come away from gatherings feeling angry and frustrated. Is there a way to address this without blowing up a lifelong relationship? — MUZZLED IN THE MIDWEST DEAR MUZZLED: I don't think there is. You stated that your longtime friend has always been a good storyteller. It is possible that, as you all are growing older, she has begun having cognitive problems. It may also be a reason why she's not picking up on social cues. Would her spouse (if she has one) or her children (if she has any) have noticed any changes? Start asking. And if the response you receive is that this is 'just the way she is,' for the sake of your sanity, see her less often. — Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
