32 Things You Can Buy Because You're An Adult And Make Your Own Decisions

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2 days ago

A shaker of Thin Mint seasoning for the person who stocks up on Girl Scout cookies every year but always runs out pre-maturely. This fairy dust will make anything from milkshakes to popcorn taste like your favorite elusive treat.
A somewhat rude sticker to make your commute feel a little more like Mario Kart. Leave those slow-driving jerks in the dust!
Promising review: "I put this on the driver-side mirror of my car. The instructions were clear and simple. It came with two decals, but I only used one because my passenger mirror has the usual writing about objects in the distance. I've been through a few car washes, and so far, it's stayed in place. I love that it is subtle, but gives me a chuckle when I remember that it's on my mirror." —J.Z.Get it from Amazon for $2.22.
A jar of black truffle "caviar" for when you want to feel tuxedo-level fancy, but don't have the funds (or heart) for the real deal. These truffle pearls are made with squid ink, so they still have an ocean-y kick without any sturgeon endangerment.
A pack of colorful Starface pimple patches — hydrocolloid stickers that protect open pimples while slowly sucking out gunk from your skin, potentially speeding up the healing process. Bonus: On top of their classic star shape, they now have these really cool fruit sticker designs so you can do your best apple-at-the-grocery store impression.
A shaker of edible cocktail glitter, because what drink wouldn't benefit from a little razzle dazzle? The halal- and kosher-certified glitter is exactly what you need if you're going for "my bartender is a fairy" type vibes.
A pack of glittery highlighters for people who want some extra ~oomph~ when they highlight a really juicy part of their textbook.
A wind-up toy shaped like a cat riding a robot vacuum. We've all seen the videos — it's time to recreate it at home.
A working claw machine you can fill with any tiny treats you'd like, from squishy toys to candy to...uhm...bones. Now you can say, "we have claw machine at home."
Chatter mouth silicone grips for a somewhat unsettling cooking experience. These pot holders can withstand up to 450 degrees and double as a tool to torment your guests with lil' nibbles. >:)
A "Bling Thing" calculator with rhinestone buttons offering a new definition for "girl math." Sure, your phone has a calculator. But is it this cute?
A NeeDoh Dream Drop that even comes with its own little stand to really sell the appearance of a droplet of magical goo. The mesmerizing glitter is already a treat, but you'll be in love once you feel how satisfyingly SQUISHY this is.
A pair of chandelier earrings for an over-to-top, iconic look that will make everyone's eye light up when they see your earrings light up. They don't just look swanky: They're made with flexible oxidized silver and clear Czech teardrop crystals.
An enormous, five-pound bag of gummy bears, because you're financially independent and can buy your own candy, Halloween be damned.
Listen, I'm gonna leave a short review here, but click through and read some of the dang novel-length reviews some people are leaving. People are passionate about these gummies! Maybe it's because they're softer than other brands and have 11 (!!!) flavors. Promising review: "As a gummy fanatic for more years than I care to admit, I have tried all sorts of brands, both popular brands and generic, domestically and internationally. In terms of taste, moisture, aroma, and variety, Albanese gummy bears are unmatched. Yes, they're pricey, but if you prioritize quality over quantity, this is the purchase for you. Treat yourself to absolute quality and go for Albanese." —trev rogersGet it from Amazon for $17.76+ (available in various pack sizes and 11 flavors).
A "Grievance Journal," aka a "burn book for the discerning misanthrope" for people who use complaining as their main form of communication. There are 52 prompts and "darkly funny" quotes to guide you through a thorough vent sesh. Your only complaint when you get this will be, "Why didn't I get this sooner?"
A pack of merit badges for the modern adult who needs a little encouragement. Congrats on flossing — it's a big accomplishment!
Promising review: "These badges are beautifully made, high quality, with vivid colors and no fraying — looked just like the pictures. Very easy to adhere. I used these to personalize my work bag, which is made out of heavy canvas. Highly recommend it, will buy more." —M SimonGet a pack of three from Amazon for $17.99+ (available in 28 sets).
Mystical Flames — a cool invention that turns your boring old fire into a rainbow fire. Camping has never felt so rave-like.
Just don't use these packets if you're planning on roasting food. Promising review: Mystical Fire Colorant is amazing. For a really fun experience, get some of these for your next camping trip. As if a campfire needs improvement... but this stuff is really neat. I'd say the adults love it even more than the kids. We only used one packet, and the colors were so good — it seems like they lasted at least 20 minutes. There was even color left in the ashes the next day. We will never go camping again without several packs of Mystical Fire on hand." —TeNeGet a pack of six from Amazon for $7.20+.
An "ugly" custom pet pillow offering a hilariously warped version of your scrunkly companion. Just send in a photo that you think could be distorted into something perfectly meme-able.
A mini Bob Ross paint-by-numbers kit that comes with three different numbered canvas designs, seven paint pots, a mini brush, and an easel to display your tiny masterpieces. It's perfect for adults and teens looking for a quick project and kids working on their fine motor skills.
An infectious disease coloring book oozing with hours of gross relaxation. This purchase is nothing to sneeze at.
A ransom note sticker book so you can spend less time cutting up old magazines and more time sending threatening letters. With fewer magazines in print these days, it's getting harder to kidnap people the right way.
A Grim Steeper silicone tea infuser that doubles as a useful reminder to people not to bother you until you're done with your morning cuppa.
Nostalgic bath pearls for anyone who misses taking a truly fun bath. Throw a couple into your tub, put on "Candy" by Mandy Moore, and recapture some '90s magic.
A set of cowboy straw toppers that add a little "don't mess with Texas" vibe to your water bottle by protecting the drinking straw from strangers bumping into it. Look how cute this bottle looks with a lil' hat on! It thinks it's people. :')
A Lego cherry blossom kit for decor you can build yourself. The 430-piece set comes with everything you need to build two stems, and at less than $15, it's a steal compared to most Lego kits.
A Skin1004 Zombie Pack to bring your skin back to life in a good, non-horror movie way. The mask tightens as it dries, creating a fun undead look (just like the more expensive Hanacure). When you wash it off, you might be pleasantly surprised to see bouncier, more hydrated skin.
A teeny-tiny board game (like Operation, Connect 4, and Hungry Hungry Hippos) with working pieces for the competitive mouse in your life.
A pack of six giant catnip joints so you can get high with your cat. That's everyone's dream, right? The "Meowijuana" is made of catnip rolled in Raw rolling papers. Instead of smoking it, your cat can bat it around.
A mini desktop dog park because dog parks are the best places on earth so having one nearby could only help.
A "Gracula" garlic crusher that ironically helps you with one of the most tedious chores in the kitchen. Just throw in the peeled cloves, twist, and feel grateful you Let the Right One In...to your kitchen.
An unbelievably cute tomato lamp so you can bathe your home in a saucy red glow. Reviewers say it's just as cute as the more expensive one you might've seen on Urban.
A dino nugget plush because stuffed animals make the best throw pillows. Now you can just add some stuffed peas and a plush pile of mashed potatoes to hide them under.
An enamel pin shaped like a stamp from a magical realm. You may never get the opportunity to visit Emerald City or Hyrule, but you can dress like a letter that's been posted from there!