How My Wife and I Navigate Our Very Different Travel Styles

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3 days ago

Fact checked by Nicholas Blackmer
Cruising is not exactly my first mental image when I think of an adventure. But, as a parent, there's definitely something to be said for having some of the big decisions—like logistics and food and even excursions—already made for you on a cruise. Even and perhaps especially when you're finally traveling without the kids in tow.
After a 12-hour flight delay in Newark (you heard that right!) and plenty of lost luggage drama, my wife Sona and I arrived in Athens, bleary-eyed but excited. We were ready to board the 2000-room Holland America cruise ship, the Oosterdam, sailing through the Mediterranean, with stops in Greece and Turkey. It's an older ship—built in 2002—but it's gone through a lot of recent upgrades with beautiful artwork. We settled into a very comfortable stateroom with a lovely little balcony and stunning ocean views.Admittedly, we had two very different agendas: Sona wanted to unwind from regular parenting life and enjoy the amenities of the ship—the ocean views, all the dining options, the spa, and the ease of visiting places like Istanbul, Crete, and Mykonos. And then, perhaps more importantly, stepping right back onto the cruise ship to lounge poolside with a book.
I also wanted to unwind, but my method for doing so is a weird mix of structure and spontaneity. I like having a general plan and then veering away from it when the mood strikes. I like to call my travel style—much like my parenting style—organized chaos.
Sona is, let's just say, a plotter. She likes to have a neatly executed, preferably high-end itinerary. She likes the idea of adventure but is generally not a fan of the collateral damage that comes with it: the bugs, the messy hair, the dirt and grime. Likewise, I like a bit of luxury, but don't like having all the decisions laid out.
What we've learned over 20 years of marriage, parenting, and traveling together is that we each need to give a little—or sometimes, a lot. And learning to compromise while traveling has also taught us a lot about learning to compromise as parents.
Melding Travel Styles
To say that we have different traveling styles is putting it mildly. About a year after we first got married, we went on a big six-month honeymoon adventure across India where we discovered how much we love traveling together. We also discovered the fine art of compromise.
After Sona realized first class Indian train tickets included fresh sheets and private rooms (plus room service!), there was no going back to the rough and tumble life of uncomfortable seats. (New Jersey Transit is another story!) I was down for that bit of luxury, which we balanced out with lots of budget-friendly street food that Sona was more than happy to indulge in. That trip was all about learning to meet in the middle.
Finding Common Ground—Through Good Eats
If there's one area Sona and I really focus on in our travels, it's food. When planning our itineraries, most of our adventures center on the eternal question: 'What should we eat?'
While a cruise ship may not automatically inspire visions of high-sea adventures, when it comes to food, there's plenty of excitement to be had. On our seven-day Holland America adventure through the Mediterranean, we made it a mission to try nearly every restaurant on the boat. Favorites included the filet at the Pinnacle Grill, tea and scones for two in the main dining room, and, of course, room service breakfast on our ocean-view balcony—because nothing beats that.
Our Mediterranean cruise offered us a small taste of a lot of different locales, from Crete to Mykonos to Venice, so we upped the adventure on that trip by making sure we got to explore some of the street food. (Budget-friendly gyros for the win!)
But we were most excited about Istanbul. We knew the Turkish capital would be a culinary delight and decided to explore on our own the first day to hit some of the major sites: the Spice market, Hagia Sofia, and the Blue Mosque. Then, next day, we took a build-your-excursion through Holland America and turned it into an exploration of the Asian side of Istanbul in the hip neighborhoods of Kadıköy and Moda, exploring bookstores and record shops, and trying some strong Turkish coffee.
Istanbul was a culinary adventure of epic proportions, and while we were there, we indulged in plenty of doner and kebabs, tried some very fancy, freshly made baklava, and even grabbed some Turkish Delight at the Spice bazaar.
Know Your Limits (And Be Prepared!)
One of the joys of traveling is that it lays bare a lot of things usually left unsaid. Travel forces things into the open. And what we realized is that most of our arguments center around a lack of food. Avoiding traveling while hangry is probably one of the biggest lessons we've learned, and we now know to avoid at all costs.
This is what makes cruising so fun. There are so many food options, and you can try them all. If you don't like something, try something else. Go explore.
The only thing more irritating than hangry children are hangry parents. Food is a necessary part of travel and life, and it's one thing that I love about cruises.
Extend the Adventure
We knew two days in Turkey wouldn't be enough, so we decided to bookend our cruise with a return to Istanbul and Cappadocia for a little couple's getaway. And it was the perfect thing to amp up the adventure.
In Cappadocia, we got to go exploring through underground caves—and unwind in a gorgeous cave hotel in the evening. We took romantic photos on a hot air balloon ride and amongst the gorgeous Turkish carpets.
As a family, we've learned to keep our adventures going by bookending our bigger trips with smaller getaways before or after.
This summer's big trip to Greece, for example, was preceded by a two-day escape to Venice, Italy, so the kids could get a quick taste of the tiramisu and squid ink pasta, as well as gape at the stunning canals and Venetian masks.
Compromise Is Key
One of the things we've discovered as we've become parents—and over the many adventures we've taken together—is that neither of our approaches is ideal on its own.
Compromise is the key factor to making it work. Instead of me making a big production of waking up to catch a sunrise and dragging Sona along, we simply splurge on that balcony room.
With a cruise, we get to explore several different places on one trip without breaking the bank or driving ourselves crazy about logistics. Plus, we get a beautiful, ocean view room to come back to every night.
After a day's wine-tasting adventures in Souda or checking out the ruins in Olympia, just was relaxing knowing we could head back to the ship, grab a drink, and unwind with dinner at one of the dozen restaurants on board. We had the flexibility of doing our own exploration of an area without all the planning that usually comes with it.
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