12 Things Confident Women Never Apologize For

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2 days ago

Beyoncé declared that girls run the world. Kesha loudly declared that she was an woman, and Demi Lovato asked, "What's wrong with being confident?"The answer to that question? Absolutely nothing. Yet, despite the messages of female empowerment out there, women still feel the need to default to saying "I'm sorry" for everything from the weather to raising their hand to offer an idea during a work meeting. What gives?"From a young age, girls are often praised for being polite, agreeable or low-maintenance," explains ., licensed psychologist. "Saying 'I'm sorry' becomes a shortcut for staying safe, preserving peace and softening discomfort—especially in male-dominated environments, family systems where emotions were discouraged, or workplaces that reward compliance over clarity."Dr. McGeehan says sometimes apologies are necessary—beautiful even. Yet, in a plot twist, apologies can also be harmful."Using them as a default weakens your authority, confuses boundaries and slowly erodes self-trust," Dr. McGeehan says. "In short, over-apologizing leads to self-abandonment."Stay unapologetically true to yourself by taking a page from a confident woman's playbook. Dr. McGeehan and other psychologists share 12 things confident women don't apologize for.Related:
Women are often told they're "too emotional" or "too sensitive." However, one psychologist shares that confident women know emotions aren't liabilities or worthy of insults."Emotions are a natural part of being human, not a sign of weakness," says , a psychologist with Veritas Psychology Partners. "A confident woman understands that acknowledging her emotions, whether joy, sadness, anger or fear, is part of her strength."Related:
Climbing the career ladder or smashing a PR in a marathon doesn't need disclaimers or apologies."A woman who has set, reached and even surpassed her own goals should never feel the need to apologize or downplay her successes," reports , a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. "It takes talent, hard work and intelligence to achieve, and no woman should feel the need to make herself smaller. Instead, be proud of the accomplishments that were earned."Related:
People with kids or grandkids who love Frozen 2 will know that Elsa learned to show herself, in part, by stepping into her power unapologetically. The message isn't a fairytale—it's something real-life confident women own daily."'Power' is not a dirty word, but should be wielded carefully," Dr. MacBride says. "Power is the ability to influence your own life and the world around you. Whether this power comes from her intellect, skills, leadership or charisma, a confident woman should never downplay her strengths to make others comfortable. Apologizing for being powerful only reinforces the idea that a woman's strength is something to be ashamed of, rather than celebrated."Related:
You are allowed to exist, even in a crowded room. "Taking up space might look like speaking in a meeting, sharing a success, or simply not shrinking in your body or voice," Dr. McGeehan says. "Apologizing for taking up space signals internalized shame about your presence. A confident woman enters a room like she belongs—not because she's arrogant, but because she has stopped seeking permission and knows that she belongs in every space she is in."Related:
Dr. MacBride shares that confident women know their views have value, and that "diverse perspectives drive progress.""She should never feel pressured to conform just to avoid conflict or please others," she emphasizes. "Apologizing for differing opinions suggests that her thoughts or ideas are less important than those of others. Apologizing for this can undermine your own confidence and how seriously others take you. It also prioritizes conflict avoidance rather than asking the group to take seriously an alternative view of the situation."
Even confident, empowered women know they are not all-powerful."A confident woman understands that there are things that will happen outside of her control," Dr. McGeehan says. "She knows how to navigate these situations by acknowledging they happened, while taking the appropriate amount of responsibility. She might respond by thanking others for their patience when she arrives late to a meeting."Confident women won't apologize for a subway being late and ruining a colleague's commute, but they will show empathy. In these cases, Dr. McGeehan says the woman might say, 'I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard morning."Related:People Who Never Heard 'I'm Sorry' From Their Parents Often Develop These 10 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
Dr. McGeehan says apologizing for needs is a big one with women and wishes they weren't."Needs aren't burdens—they're the foundation of honest, mutual connection and they are human," she says. "Confident women know that their needs are not too much—they're information and how to interact with them respectfully."
"Self-care is not selfish—it is self-preservation," shares Dr. Jan Miller, Ph.D., licensed psychologist with Thriveworks.Of course, Dr. Miller says it can be hard to see it that way in a society that values productivity as a good moral and slowing down as "lazy.""Women are often made to feel like they must justify and apologize for taking a break," she explains. "The reality is that breaks are equally valuable as producing and doing. In fact, being rested helps us do the things we need and want to do better."Related:
While we're talking about rest not being laziness: "You're allowed to move at a sustainable pace," Dr. McGeehan says. "Other people's procrastination is not your emergency, and it is not your job to be available to everyone else at the drop of a hat."However, she says apologizing for not responding immediately makes it sound like you did something wrong, which you did not."Apologizing for not responding instantly reinforces urgency culture and teaches others to expect constant access to you," she explains. "Confident women protect their energy and reply when they're ready and leave it at that."Related:
You literally cannot say yes to everything."When women over-apologize for declining requests, they invite negotiation or guilt where none is needed," Dr. McGeehan says. "Confident women say no clearly, not cruelly, and trust that boundaries create clarity—not conflict."When Dr. McGeehan needs to decline something, she kindly communicates the boundary with this line: "Thank you so much for your request. However, my plate is currently as full as I like it, so I'm not moving forward with additional social engagements.'Related:
Confident women live, learn and let go."Those past choices allow women to learn and grow," Dr. Goldman points out. "Those past choices resulted in getting to the place they are at in the present day. Therefore, that is not something to apologize for. Instead, [it] can be something that a confident woman can feel [grateful for]."Related:
Dr. Miller says women receive messages about what their bodies "should" look like from a young age."Each woman's body is unique and never needs an apology—ever," she shares. "Apologizing for perceived shortcomings in one's body can lead to shame, anxiety, depression and disordered eating."She stresses that accepting your body as is can boost self-love, body confidence and overall happiness.Related:
Confident women also know when an apology is in order. "There are times when apologies are needed and can be helpful," Dr. Miller says. "The purpose of an apology is to demonstrate insight that you've violated a rule or boundary and, as a result, hurt someone. So, women should apologize when they recognize that they have done something wrong. This allows an opportunity for repair and healing."
Dr. McGeehan agrees that it's especially crucial to apologize for crossing someone else's boundary, especially if you knew better. She also shares that confident women often understand that no one—not even they—is perfect, and are willing to 'fess up."It's inevitable that we will cross someone else's boundary at some point because we are human," Dr. McGeehan says. "It's just critical to take accountability when we do. Confident women don't just try to avoid harm—they also take accountability when it happens."
Up Next:Dr. Brittany McGeehan, Ph.D., licensed psychologist
Dr. Gayle MacBride, Ph.D., LP, a psychologist with Veritas Psychology Partners
Dr. Michele Goldman, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor
Dr. Jan Miller, Ph.D., licensed psychologist with Thriveworks
12 Things Confident Women Never Apologize For first appeared on Parade on May 28, 2025