Pooja Bedi recalls mother Protima Bedi's death: ‘Her body was never found; she drew up her will, wrote me a letter and went…'

Indian Express

9 hours ago

Iconoclastic and a free spirit, Protima Bedi found popularity as a model-turned dancer who gave India a cultural hub in the form of Nrityagram, a dance village near Bangalore. Married to actor Kabir Bedi, she was mother to actor Pooja Bedi and Siddharth. A few days after her death anniversary, Pooja speaks about the life of her late mother. Protima challenged societal norms throughout her life. She tragically passed away in 1998 during a pilgrimage to Kailash Mansarovar. Her legacy lives on through her contributions to Indian dance.
Teaching me ABCs on the sands of Juhu beach, being somebody who hugged and kissed us constantly, a free spirit, somebody who laughed a lot. I've got thousands of memories in my head about mama. I think the most outstanding ones would be that she used to scold us if we ever got homework home and started to do it and she'd say, 'I don't give you ghar ka kaam to take to school, how can they give you schoolwork to bring home? This is my time with you, don't do your homework.'
She was very unconventional. She was full of life, full of fun. Thank God for her full-throated, deep laughter that had everybody in splits, a great sense of humour. She was just the happiest person and curious about everything possible and she never told us we couldn't do something. She not just believed in her own dreams, she believed in our dreams, she believed in everyone's dreams and she always helped and supported everybody to the nth degree, whatever she could bring and do to enhance anybody's life. My mom was a woman meant for whatever she wanted to be. If she wanted to be domestic, she would. If she wanted to be a free bird, she would. If she wanted to be a woman who wore bikinis and smoked cigarettes, she did. When she wanted to put on gajras and sarees and become a classical dancer, she did. If she wanted to be a woman who was a fashion model walking the ramp, she was. If she wanted to be a hardcore entrepreneur, passionate visionary who went off to Nrityagram, 10 acres of barren land, put up a tent and created India's greatest dance school, she did that as well.
She has lived on through every gesture, through every action, through every word, through every touch, through every, you know, for simply being her. She's left the world a better place.
There are so many regrets about her leaving the planet before she even turned 50. There is so much that I wish I had done with her. But she was a woman who lived life on her terms. She lived the way she wanted and she literally died the way she wanted. She always said she wanted to die out in nature and, you know, be one with nature. At the end of this beautiful, glorious life, she didn't want to be pushed into some crematorium with a mock ceremony of her ashes being put in the Ganga. She wanted to die out in nature; that was going to be a grand finale. And that's exactly the way it panned out. Her body was never found. You know, it was one with the universe, one with the earth. She was just this incredible energy.
She came to me, wrote out her will, handed me her jewellery, handed me all her documents, handed me her property papers, and said, you never know. I said why are you being so dramatic? And she just said, 'you never know, darling'. She'd handed me everything that she ever possessed. And she said, 'Siddhartha's no more, he's committed suicide. I've handed over Nrityagram to Lynn Fernandez, you're my only mooring. I want you to let me go. And she went off to Kulu Manali, wrote me a 12-page letter summarising her entire life from birth, from her childhood, to her relationships, to her marriages, to her kids, to her dance journey, to where she was before her death, saying, 'I'm in Kullu, Kullu means Valley of the Gods, and may all the gods and goddesses know of my eternal gratitude, I'm happy. I'm so very, very happy.' And then she went off and that was the last we ever heard from her. So what a journey, what a life, what a woman, what a mother!
What my mother taught us is that to be a parent means to empower your child to live their life without dependence. And most parents that I see want children to be completely dependent on them and then to be there for them in their old age. She had zero expectations and she empowered us to be completely self-sufficient and independent. Her her whole focus was, 'tomorrow, if I'm not there, my children shouldn't be lost. My children shouldn't try to figure life out because Mama had taken care of everything'. She wanted us to be strong. She wanted us to be independent. She wanted us to be self-reliant and self-sufficient. And I think that was the greatest learning for me as a parent was that my children should love me and want to be with me, not because they don't know better. They don't know how to do anything without me. They should be fully empowered to live life completely on their terms. Should I not be there, they shouldn't be lost at all.
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She was one of the most loving human beings on the planet. Larger than life, warm, most incredible hugs, made the most incredible aloo dum, but completely unconventional. I remember one day I told her, I said, 'Mama, all my friends, their mothers ask them, what will you eat? And when we go to their house, they're feeding us all these yummy things. And all these mothers, they're very concerned about their children. Where are you going? And what time are you coming back? And who are your friends? And you never ask us any questions like these. You're not protective about us and possessive about us and strict with us.'And so my mother looked at me very shocked. She said, 'You want me to be strict with you?' I said, 'Well, all other mothers are this way. That's how mothers are. And she laughed and said, all right, well, I want you to put oil in your hair. I want you to press my feet. I'm a dancer, my feet hurt. And I want you to learn classical dance as well.' And I said, Mama, I'm not going to do all of that. And she said, 'Why? You want me to play the perfect mother? I want you to play the perfect daughter, so we can do role playing or we can just get on the business of being ourselves and letting each other be who we want to be.' So she was very out of the box and she lived life on her terms and she gave us all the strength and the courage to do the same.
She's always around me. I don't know if you know the story of the dragonfly. It's going to be coming out on YouTube very soon. I'm doing an entire YouTube video on my journey with the dragonfly, and my mother through it all.