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Does Kash Patel deserve to run the FBI? Of course he does – and I'll take a lie detector test to prove it

Does Kash Patel deserve to run the FBI? Of course he does – and I'll take a lie detector test to prove it

The Guardian6 hours ago
'Once upon a time, in the land of the free, there lived a wizard called Kash the Distinguished Discoverer.' That piece of verbal wizardry is the opening line of a children's book trilogy called The Plot Against the King (aimed at children aged three and above) by a Mr Kash Patel. The first book, published in 2022, is like Harry Potter for conspiracy theorists. Kash helps King Donald battle Hillary Queenton and a 'shifty knight', who have been spreading lies about the king working with the Russionians. In the final book in the trilogy (The Plot Against the King 3: The Return of the King) a couple of villains called Comma‑la‑la‑la and Baron Von Biden make an appearance.
Not so long ago, publishing deeply weird books about the president while also promoting wild QAnon conspiracy theories would get you put on some kind of watchlist. Now it gets you a top job as the guy in charge of watchlists. Patel is not just a children's book author; he is also the director of the FBI. His chief qualification for the role appears to be his extreme devotion to President Donald Trump. He certainly didn't have any FBI experience before getting the job as head of the agency.
I don't know if Patel suffers from impostor syndrome – a condition that normally afflicts overqualified women – but he does seem a tad insecure. Last week the New York Times reported that Patel's FBI has 'significantly' increased its use of lie detector tests to screen employees for loyalty. According to the Times, some people have specifically been asked if they've ever been rude about their boss; 'disparaging Mr Patel or his deputy, Dan Bongino … could cost people their job'. Woe betide the FBI underling who admits that they think Patel's official photo on the US Department of Defense website (which has been much-memed online) looks as if he's just been caught smoking joints behind the bike shed and is trying his very best to act sober.
Polygraph tests, which track physiological reactions (eg did your heart rate spike?) while you answer questions, are notoriously unreliable. They can be successfully gamed by people who know how they work and are adept at controlling their bodily responses in high-pressure situations. You know, people like FBI employees. That said, it's certainly possible that the FBI is secretly in possession of infallible lie-detecting technology (called something like WaterboardingAI™?).
While Patel may come across as insecure, paranoid and generally doolally, he is not always wrong. In his 2023 opus Government Gangsters: The Deep State, the Truth, and the Battle for Our Democracy, which is written for 'grownups', he writes about how power works in Washington.
'I regularly used to tell people that the fastest way to move up in the government is to just screw up, and the bigger the screw-up, the bigger the promotion,' he writes. 'Every person implicated in your mistakes has an interest in covering up what they did, so they will promote you. That means the people at the very top are usually the most immoral, unethical people in the entire agency.' No comment there.
Anyway, I think I've screwed up myself. Like a dimwit, I've just realised that all of the above might sound a tad disparaging towards Patel. Which, as a British-Palestinian on a green card that's up for renewal, was certainly not my intention. So, just to clarify, Kash, I've been writing in English-English. While American English tends to be blunt, the king's English is a whole different kettle of fish.
When we say, 'That's very interesting,' for example, we often mean it's absolute tripe. When we say 'quite good', it means either that something was indeed quite good or that it was actually quite disappointing – you've got to read the room. Calling something 'not bad', on the other hand, often means it's very good.
And, of course, the British are also very fond of sarcasm, which Americans can sometimes miss. So, with the greatest respect, Mr Patel, I do not think you are an idiot. I think you are a 'distinguished discoverer' and the greatest FBI director to ever walk God's green Earth. And I'll even take a lie detector test to prove it.
Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist
Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.
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The Epstein Files: How the saga unfolded within Trump's administration
The Epstein Files: How the saga unfolded within Trump's administration

The Independent

time43 minutes ago

  • The Independent

The Epstein Files: How the saga unfolded within Trump's administration

Jeffrey Epstein may have been dead for six years, but the circumstances surrounding his death and the evidence supporting federal charges of child sex trafficking continue to make headlines. Most recently, they have caused a schism in MAGA world, reigniting anger from some supporters of President Donald Trump over his campaign promise to release the FBI files on the Epstein case, which the Department of Justice now says will not happen. At the heart of the anger is the supposed existence of a 'client list' of celebrities, politicians, and other prominent associates, whom some claim that Epstein blackmailed over their alleged involvement in his trafficking ring. Conspiracy theorists have long demanded its release, but now the Trump administration says there is no evidence it exists, despite Attorney General Pam Bondi having said in February that it was on her desk. Bondi now says she was referring to the overall case file. The attorney general also said officials at the Justice Department were examining a 'truckload' of evidence that had previously not been made public. However, the department concluded that public disclosure would not be appropriate, and much of the material was sealed by a judge. This has added fuel to rampant speculation that Trump is on the alleged list, despite its apparent nonexistence. This caused a storm among right-wing influencers, including commentator Tucker Carlson, activist Laura Loomer, and former Trump adviser Steve Bannon, who are outraged over this lack of transparency. Here's what you need to know about the case and why MAGA is up in arms. What are the so-called 'Epstein Files'? Epstein was a wealthy and very well-connected financier who was arrested in 2019 on federal sex trafficking charges. He was found dead in his cell at a federal jail in New York City about a month after his arrest. Investigators concluded he died by suicide. His former girlfriend, socialite Ghislaine Maxwell, was charged with helping him abuse teenage girls, and at trial in late 2021, was convicted of sex trafficking and sentenced to 20 years in prison. Because the couple's social circle included royals, presidents, and billionaires, the case gained massive attention and fueled some of the biggest conspiracy theories driving Trump's supporters. Trump himself was a friend of Epstein, and the two were photographed and filmed together on several occasions. In 2002, Trump described Epstein as a 'terrific guy' whom he had known for 15 years, in an interview with New York magazine. He added: 'It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.' Being so well-connected, key figures in the MAGA movement have long propagated unsubstantiated claims that Epstein was murdered and that 'deep state' actors in the government are hiding lists of his clients, videos of crimes being committed, and other evidence. Among those figures were now-FBI Director Kash Patel and his deputy Dan Bongino, who both stoked conspiracy theories surrounding Epstein's death, with the latter telling listeners in 2023 that there are people in the 'Washington swamp who are not telling you the truth.' In 2019, Trump himself suggested there was a cover-up and was asked on Fox News on the 2024 campaign trail if he would declassify documents relating to the case once he took office again — these became known as the 'Epstein Files.' Then-candidate Trump said he would, alongside files relating to 9/11 and the JFK assassination, but hedged his answer on Epstein, adding: 'I think that less so because you don't want to affect people's lives if it's phony stuff in there, because it's a lot of phony stuff with that whole world. But I think I would.' What has happened since Trump returned to the White House? In February, weeks after Trump's inauguration, Bondi was asked during a Fox News interview whether the DOJ would release the alleged client list. She responded: 'It's sitting on my desk right now to review. That's been a directive by President Trump. I'm reviewing that.' A few days later, Bondi told the network that the Justice Department planned to publish 'a lot of flight logs' and 'a lot of names' related to Epstein. On February 27, far-right influencers, including Jack Posobiec and Scott Presler, as well as the individuals behind the LibsofTikTok and DC_Draino accounts, were invited to an event at the White House and provided with binders marked 'The Epstein Files: Phase 1' and 'Declassified.' After jubilant images of the group holding the binders aloft were published, their excitement quickly faded when they realized that the content was already almost entirely in the public domain. Some were outraged and blamed Bondi. Loomer blasted the handling of the publication, writing on X: "The Epstein files were released in an unprofessional manner with paid, partisan social media influencers to curate their binders for us. I can't trust anything in the binder. Neither should you." In May, Bondi claimed there were 'tens of thousands of videos of Epstein with children or child porn,' adding further fuel to conspiracy theories that powerful people were being protected and the decision to release 'Phase 1' had been to allow time for some kind of cover-up. Bondi pushed back on this notion, saying: 'It's a new administration and everything is going to come out to the public.' Multiple people who worked on the criminal cases of Epstein and Maxwell told The Associated Press that they had not seen and were unaware of a trove of recordings similar to what Bondi had referenced. June 5 — Musk and Trump's feud explodes with Epstein allegation As the months-long bromance between Trump and Tesla CEO Elon Musk came to a spectacular end with a social media battle for the ages, the topic of Epstein arose in one of the most explosive posts exchanged that day. Musk tweeted: 'Files linked to the investigation of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein have emerged as a point of fixation for Trump and his allies and right-wing media figures. 'Time to drop the really big bomb: Donald Trump is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public.' Shortly after, he wrote: 'Mark this post for the future. The truth will come out.' Later, perhaps as cooler heads prevailed, Musk deleted the tweet. July 7 — MAGA world erupts over DOJ memo At the close of the Independence Day federal holiday weekend, the Justice Department announced in a two-page memo, in conjunction with the FBI, that there was no client list and no additional files relating to the case would be made public. The DOJ, it said, had determined that no 'further disclosure would be appropriate or warranted,' much was sealed by a court to protect Epstein's victims, and 'only a fraction of it 'would have been aired publicly had Epstein gone to trial.' Additionally, the memo said that no further charges were expected as investigators 'did not uncover evidence that could predicate an investigation against uncharged third parties.' Also released were hours of footage, which officials say further confirms Epstein died by suicide while in custody in his jail cell in Manhattan in 2019. The 11-hour video of Epstein's final hours in New York's Metropolitan Correctional Center had one minute of footage missing, and forensic experts concluded that the clip had been 'modified,' adding fuel to the fire. While the memo said the government's highest priority was combatting child exploitation, it added: 'Perpetuating unfounded theories about Epstein serves neither of those ends.' Right-wing conspiracy theories and renewed suspicions of a cover-up went into overdrive over this retreat by Bondi. Former Trump adviser Bannon questioned if the administration is really as transparent as it claims to be. Loomer called on Bondi to resign 'for lying to the American people,' a call echoed by fellow MAGA influencer Glenn Beck. Podcaster Megyn Kelly called Bondi 'either lazy or incompetent,' and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones accused the Trump administration of being part of the cover-up. July 8 — Trump tries to deflect while Bondi attempts clean-up In a Cabinet meeting on July 8, with reporters present, Trump interrupted a question on the topic, saying: 'Are you still talking about Jeffrey Epstein? This guy's been talked about for years. You're asking — we have Texas, we have this, we have all of the things. And are people still talking about this guy, this creep? That is unbelievable.' Bondi then clarified her past comments on the case: 'In February, I did an interview on Fox, and it's been getting a lot of attention because I said I was asked a question about the client list, and my response was, it's sitting on my desk to be reviewed, meaning the file along with the JFK, MLK files as well. That's what I meant by that.' Concerning her later comments about the 'tens of thousands' of videos, she said that they had 'turned out to be child porn downloaded by that disgusting Jeffrey Epstein.' Musk once again joined the conversation, posting on X: 'How can people be expected to have faith in Trump if he won't release the Epstein files?' The former DOGE administrator also claimed, with no evidence, that his nemesis, Bannon, was in the files. July 11 — Bongino's future in doubt The most public split within the Trump administration emerged between Bondi and Bongino, with the deputy FBI director expressing dissatisfaction with how the memo had been released. He told allies that he may resign as the storm over the memo continued within MAGA world. According to reports, the two had a fiery confrontation with Bongino attacking Bondi for her handling of the situation. To try and diffuse speculation about infighting within the administration, Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche said on X that he had personally worked with both Bongino and Patel on the memo. 'All of us signed off on the contents of the memo and the conclusions stated in the memo,' Blanche wrote. 'The suggestion by anyone that there was any daylight between the FBI and DOJ leadership on this memo's composition and release is patently false.' This provoked an angry response from Loomer, who asked why no one had signed their name on the memo, speculating that the FBI had wanted to release more information and Bondi — whom she refers to as 'Blondi' — had refused. 'Blondi is literally blowing up the Trump admin by concealing information, spending time on Fox News lying to MAGA base and by releasing contradictory statements,' wrote Loomer on X. July 12 — Trump defends Bondi amid continuing MAGA outrage Only one person could attempt to diffuse internal strife within the administration, and so on Saturday, the president took to Truth Social and, in an extraordinarily lengthy post, defended Bondi amid continued calls for her resignation from his base. Trump praised her for doing a 'fantastic job' and urged his 'boys' and 'gals' in MAGA world to stop attacking her. 'What's going on with my 'boys' and, in some cases, 'gals?'' Trump wrote. 'They're all going after Attorney General Pam Bondi, who is doing a FANTASTIC JOB! We're on one Team, MAGA, and I don't like what's happening.' 'We have a PERFECT Administration, THE TALK OF THE WORLD, and 'selfish people' are trying to hurt it, all over a guy who never dies, Jeffrey Epstein,' Trump protested. The president's post did little to quell the anger from his base, who continued to call for the release of the files. His first-term national security adviser, retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, wrote on X: '@realdonaldtrump please understand the EPSTEIN AFFAIR is not going away.' He added that failing to address unanswered questions about Epstein would make facing other national challenges 'much harder.' Musk once again commented on X, replying to a post: Seriously. He [Trump] said 'Epstein' half a dozen times while telling everyone to stop talking about Epstein. Just release the files as promised.' On the same day, rumors circulated that Patel, like Bongino, was also considering leaving the FBI. The director wrote on X that it is an honor to serve the president and 'I'll continue to do so for as long as he calls on me.' The following day, asked about Bongino's future, Trump said he was in 'good shape,' adding: 'I spoke to him today, Dan Bongino, very good guy. I've known him a long time.' Before this, it had been reported that Trump was angry at Bongino over the situation. The president's daughter-in-law appeared to be off-message in terms of tamping down the scandal when she told Bennie Johnson on his podcast that there needed to be 'more transparency' from the administration regarding the Epstein case and that more information would be released 'sooner rather than later.' On the same day, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries told reporters at a news conference that there were only two things possibly be happening regarding the case. 'Option one, Donald Trump, Pam Bondi, and the MAGA extremists intentionally lied to the American people for years about the Jeffrey Epstein situation,' he said. 'Option two is that, in fact, there's reason for the American people to be concerned as it relates to what information has not been released that could be damaging to the Trump administration and the friends and family of the Trump administration and their billionaire, corrupt supporters. And so, they're actively engaging in a cover-up,' Jeffries continued. He added that if the administration was 'hiding something,' it was up to Congress to 'uncover the truth for the American people.' Later, Texas Democratic Rep. Marc Beasey introduced a resolution calling for the immediate release of all unclassified Epstein Files. That echoed calls from MAGA Republicans. 'America deserves the truth about Jeffrey Epstein and the rich powerful elites in his circle,' Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene wrote on X Monday. Nevertheless, House Republicans blocked another Democrat push to force the Trump administration to release the 'FULL' Epstein files. Seizing on growing MAGA infighting, California Representative Ro Khanna introduced an amendment to the GENIUS Act on Monday, calling on Bondi to compile and release all Epstein records within 30 days. Late Monday evening, the House Rules Committee voted 7–5 to block the proposal from reaching the lower chamber. July 15 — Trump says Bondi should release 'whatever she thinks is credible' On Tuesday, with the scandal refusing to die down, Trump told reporters on the South Lawn that Bondi should release 'whatever she thinks is credible' on Epstein. When asked if Bondi had informed him that his name appeared in the file, the president said no and that he had received a 'very quick briefing' on the review of the Epstein files before the release of the memo a week earlier. 'And in terms of the credibility of the different things that they've seen, and I would say that, you know, these files were made up by Comey, they were made up by Obama, they were made up by the Biden -- and you know, we and we went through years of that with the Russia, Russia, Russia hoax, with all of the different things that we had to go through,' Trump said. 'We've gone through years of it, but she's handled it very well, and it's going to be up to her,' Trump said of Bondi. 'Whatever she thinks is credible, she should release.'

Trump says his enemies ‘made up' the Epstein files
Trump says his enemies ‘made up' the Epstein files

Times

timean hour ago

  • Times

Trump says his enemies ‘made up' the Epstein files

President Trump has defended his administration's decision not to release the Jeffrey Epstein files amid a growing Maga backlash, as he accused Barack Obama and Joe Biden of 'making up' their existence. The US president said that Pam Bondi had handled the files 'very well', despite calls from prominent Trump supporters for his attorney general to be fired. After Bondi's decision last week not to release the files, Trump has tried to persuade Maga supporters to drop their calls for transparency. Conspiracy theorists have alleged the files contain a 'client list' with the names of prominent associates of Epstein as well as details about the death of the disgraced financier and paedophile, who committed suicide in his prison cell in 2019. A memo released by Bondi last week said there was no evidence Epstein was murdered or that he kept a client list. After his election last year, Trump appointed Maga proponents of the Epstein conspiracy theories to his administration including Kash Patel, the director of the FBI, and Dan Bongino, the agency's deputy director. But these same figures have now found themselves part of an administration defending the decision not to release the trove of evidence. In a change of tactics, Trump accused James Comey, the former director of the FBI under Obama, of inventing the files. 'These files were made up by Comey, they were made up by Obama, they were made up by the Biden [administration],' he said on Tuesday. Democrats in Congress are pushing for the files to be released, exposing splits among Trump's supporters. On Tuesday, Republicans in the House blocked attempts to force their disclosure. 'That was probably not the last time that you're going to see us deal with this issue,' Jim McGovern, a Democrat from Massachusetts and the House rules committee ranking member, told Axios. Trump, a friend of Epstein, once described the sex trafficker as a 'terrific guy'. 'It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side,' Trump said in an interview in 2002.

US House Speaker Johnson calls for 'transparency' on Epstein, in departure from Trump
US House Speaker Johnson calls for 'transparency' on Epstein, in departure from Trump

BBC News

timean hour ago

  • BBC News

US House Speaker Johnson calls for 'transparency' on Epstein, in departure from Trump

US House of Representatives Speaker Mike Johnson has called for the justice department to release all its files on sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, in a split with President Donald Trump, who has sought to draw a line under the matter."We should put everything out there and let the people decide," Johnson, an ally of the president, said in an came as Trump said Attorney General Pam Bondi should release "whatever she thinks is credible" on Epstein. At the weekend, the president urged supporters not to "waste time and energy" on Epstein. Bondi is under fire after she last week said there was no evidence Epstein kept a "client list" or was blackmailing powerful figures. Convicted paedophile Epstein's 2019 death in a US prison while awaiting federal trial was ruled to be a suicide, but many in Trump's Make America Great Again (Maga) base allege a about the Epstein files on Tuesday by US conservative commentator Benny Johnson, Speaker Johnson said he was in favour of "transparency".The Republican congressman from Louisiana added that he trusted President Trump and his team, and that the White House was privy to facts that he did not know. But he said Bondi "needs to come forward and explain it to everybody".Trump defends US Attorney General Pam Bondi over Epstein filesWho was Jeffrey Epstein?Trump is facing the backlash from his staunchly loyal political base over their suspicions details of Epstein's crimes are being withheld in order to protect influential figures, or intelligence Tuesday, he praised his attorney general's handling of the matter, saying: "She's handled it very well, and it's going to be up to her. Whatever she thinks is credible, she should release."Last week the president vented frustration in the Oval Office about his supporters' fixation on Epstein and implored them to move other Republican allies of the president are not letting go of the congresswoman Marjorie Taylor-Greene, a prominent voice in the Maga movement, told Benny Johnson in a separate interview on Tuesday: "I fully support transparency on this issue."She praised Bondi's work as attorney general, but said that leaders and elected officials should keep their promises to conservative Republican, Lauren Boebert of Colorado, said if more Epstein files were not released, a special counsel should be appointed to investigate the financier's John Kennedy of Louisiana said the voters expect more accountability."I think it's perfectly understandable that the American people would like to know who he [Epstein] trafficked those women to and why they weren't prosecuted," Kennedy told NBC other influential Republicans – including Senator John Thune and congressman Jim Jordan – deferred to President Trump on the an unrelated news conference on fentanyl on Tuesday, Bondi brushed aside questions about the controversy."Nothing about Epstein," she told reporters. "I'm not going to talk about Epstein."She said last week's memo declining to release further files on Epstein "speaks for itself".President Trump and members of his administration had previously vowed to release details of the investigation into the memo sent out last Monday by the Department of Justice, jointly released with the FBI, said there was "no incriminating client list" or evidence to suggest Epstein had blackmailed high-profile government's findings were made, according to the memo, after reviewing more than 300 gigabytes of Tuesday, House Democratic lawmakers tried unsuccessfully to force a vote on releasing Epstein pointed out the administration of President Joe Biden, a Democrat, also had access to the files, but did not release them.

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