Caroline Darian, the Daughter of Gisèle Pelicot, Is Fighting for Survivors Everywhere

Yahoo

21-04-2025

All products featured on Glamour are independently selected by Glamour editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, Condé Nast may earn an affiliate commission.Caroline Darian never expected to have a worldwide platform. In November 2020, she was a self-described 'simple, normal woman' working in communications in the Paris area and raising her young son, Tom, with her husband Paul.
But then, Paul got a phone call from Darian's mother, Gisèle Pelicot. She had something to tell him about her husband, Darian's father, Dominique.
'My mother called Paul. Not me,' writers Darian in her memoir, I'll Never Call Him Dad Again, which was released in the US last month. 'She couldn't bring herself to tell any of her children. But she knew she could count on Paul. She knew he could take it, no matter how bad the news.'
The news would not only change Darian's family forever, but the entire world. As she would soon learn, Dominique was discovered to have been drugging her mother for years, and then inviting men to come rape her in her sleep. Once her husband and the men accused of raping her went to trial, Gisèle Pelicot took the extraordinary step of waiving her right to anonymity, so that the names and faces of the accused would also be public. As she memorably stated, in words that would become a rallying cry: 'Shame must change sides.'
But while the Pelicot trial—which resulted in 51 men being convicted including Dominique— became an international symbol of the fight against rape culture worldwide, for Darian it was a gutting and life-altering personal tragedy. I'll Never Call Him Dad Again is a diaristic examination of the months following Dominique's arrest, with Darian sharing her raw feelings, emotions, and experiences on the page.
Now an activist with her own organization fighting for victims of chemical-induced rape, Darian is also seeking to prove in court that she was another of Dominque's victims, filing a legal complaint last month (Dominique has denied sexually assaulting his daughter). And six months on from the watershed trial, she is seeking to shed a light on not just her family's story, but the scourge of sexual abuse worldwide, which often doesn't see the light.
'To me, it's not only about one woman, you know what I mean?' Darian, who uses a pen name for her writing, tells Glamour via Zoom. 'There are so many victims who have suffered from sexual abuse, and it's not only about one hero, it's about many heroes that we have to support…I don't want to forget about the others. There are so many women, even children, who are really alone and sometimes abandoned by their own family. We have to become aware of that.'
Darian spoke with Glamour about her activism during and since the trial, her fight for justice, and what US readers can do to further the message.
: Your book was recently released in the US, what has it been like to share your story with an entirely new audience?
Caroline Darian: It's amazing to me. Now this book is traveling all around the world. I think it's useful, at least at the moment we're living. I know that in the US it's not that easy, when it comes to all of these DEI topics and so on. So I guess it's useful for the audience and the American citizens, to better understand what's happening over here in Europe.
It's a particularly poignant time for your story to be shared here. I was struck by how open and raw you are in describing the experience. Why did you decide to write about it?
Well, to me, talking, writing, and sharing is therapeutic. When I discovered the violence of the facts, all those facts that came out, it was kind of an emergency. I just needed to write it down to put a little bit of a distance also just to metabolize all of this stuff. I just wanted to be authentic and true to myself, because it's a big part of me that I have lost in the end.
Was there any part of you that wanted to hold back in sharing the harder moments?
I just knew that I had to write, without any anticipation. To be honest with you, I said to myself, I'm going to save at least one woman on Earth. But I didn't really know that this book would be a bestseller in France. I'm a simple woman. I'm working. I have a normal life. I'm trying to get a normal life. But I know that writing probably saved me.
You write about how you processed the events not just as a daughter, but how you helped your young son, Tom, through it as well. How is he doing now?
He is good, he is almost 11 now. I think he's a little bit more mature than probably some other children his age. I think it's a part of his family history, his legacy, but it's not limited or restricted to this.
I really loved how you discussed figuring out as a mother how to help your child through such a trauma, and how the two of you worked together to find a therapist for him. It is a great example of parenting.
I think it came naturally. I mean, it was so difficult, and we knew that we needed some help because we are not therapists, and I was so shocked and impacted that I knew that I wasn't able to help him.
What about the rest of your family? How have you been doing since the trial concluded in December?
I don't want to lie. It is still really painful. It's really difficult for us as children…so our life, we are never the same.
You recently released a second book in France, covering the trial and its aftermath, right?
Yes. It's really different from the first one. The first one was a bit intimate writing as a diary, and the second one, once again, came out naturally because I started during this trial. I just wanted to raise some different stuff. The behind the scenes, this trial, which was covered by all the media across the world, but in the end, what happened inside of us, within our family during this trial. Once again, I wanted to share this part of me because in the end, to me, it's not over. This ride is over, but for me, it's not the end of the story. It's a never-ending story.
You also filed a against Dominique in March, accusing him of drugging and sexually abusing you. Can you tell us about it?
I had decided to wait until the end of [my mother's] trial to press charges against Dominique for the real fact that I know it happened for me. I was [drugged], probably for sexual assault. There's pictures of me. There are some serious facts that weren't really investigated by the French police. So with my new lawyer, now we're still waiting for the public prosecutors to give me an answer. I don't know if they're going to help reopen the file, or if they're going to do some more investigating. I'm just waiting.
One of the most poignant parts of the book for me was your honest discussion of how your family weathered these events, because they weren't always linear and were incredibly hard to navigate. Have you heard from others who experienced family trauma and related to your story?
I received so many. So many people who went through this kind of trauma and traumatic symptoms. A lot of women, I must say that many are women, even if they are not the only victims in France and in Europe…I've heard so many different stories, and most of the time it's someone coming from the inside, from home, from their family, from their even colleagues or even a parent. So, it's really scary.
You founded an organization, # or 'Don't Put Me Under,' to raise awareness and fight against the scourge of drug-induced rape and sexual assault. What work has the group been doing lately?
We're really driving awareness. We are developing some different kinds of content for training all the health professionals, but we are also helping some victims. I did a partnership with a health structure in France led by a pharmacist, and we are closely working together with a platform where all the victims can have a call and get an interview to talk with some trained people, because it's really specific when you're talking with those kinds of victims.
I'm closely working also with politicians. We're currently working on a governmental mission, and the report is going to be sent out to our ministry on May 12th with clear recommendations and guidelines for really improving the support of the victims in France. We're working on the legal stuff, social stuff, but also health. For instance, to make toxicological analysis even more accessible in France, because it's really expensive.
Your mother's case was a watershed moment in France. Do you feel like it and the work you are doing has made the government more receptive to implementing some of these protections? How has it changed the culture?
Back in 2020, no one talked about chemical submission. When I started to investigate these cases in France, I really discovered that it was really under the carpet. Health professionals were aware of it, but no one from the public opinion, no one. Now it's probably something that is even more well known, of course, from this trial, but also with the first book and all the work that we've been doing since.
I think there's something changing about the notion of consent in France. But I think there's also a real awareness that it is everywhere. Everywhere. I thought that we had an ordinary family coming from the middle class with no big issue, and it happened inside of our own family. It also happens at a political level. Look at the [Harvey] Weinstein affair. Seriously, it's everywhere in every level of our society.
What do you think are the main, actionable lessons readers can learn from your story?
I just want to bear in mind one thing. We all know someone around us who has lived through sexual abuse, and we all have to listen. I think all the victims need to get listened to, believed, and believed and supported. And that's why it's quite a universal story, because I think all the people realize that they know someone. They know someone from their different kind of sphere who lived through that kind of situation.
One important thing to me is that I really want to encourage all the people who will be able to read the book to encourage them to talk. Talk to their family and friends. I think we have to be open-minded.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Originally Appeared on Glamour