The red flag hiding in your kids' games that they're being groomed & easy guide to keep them safe online this summer

The Sun

6 days ago

THE summer holidays bring lots of freedom for our children.
But it can also lead to an increase in screen time - as parents balance work commitments with keeping their kids occupied.
This comes with a stark warning from security chiefs, who are urgently calling on parents to prevent children from accessing toxic online material.
This unprecedented alert stems from a deeply concerning trend: a growing number of children, some as young as 12, are being radicalised and brainwashed into committing acts of terrorism.
Alarming statistics reveal the scale of the threat, with around one in five individuals arrested for terrorism-related offences now aged under 18, and half of all referrals to the Government's Prevent anti-radicalisation programme involving children.
Appealing to parents, Sir Ken McCallum, MI5's Director General, emphasised the speed and sophistication of this danger: 'In a few clicks, young people can be speaking to terrorists online, consuming violent content.
'Terrorists are using slick propaganda to pull young people down a dangerous and potentially life-changing path.'
This urgent appeal for parental vigilance regarding children's internet use is a joint call from the heads of MI5, the National Crime Agency, and Counter Terrorism Policing.
New research from consumer insights platform GWI further underscores this concern, revealing that 66% of UK respondents cited 'exposure to harmful content' as one of their biggest worries about children using social media.
While digital spaces offer connection and entertainment, they also harbour insidious threats like online grooming and the terrifying rise of extremism.
These dangers often manifest not through obvious red flags, but through subtle, non-suspecting signs that parents must learn to recognise.
Experts across child protection, psychology, and law enforcement are urging parents to be vigilant and proactive, transforming their approach to online safety from reactive to deeply empathetic and informed.
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Here, we reveal the behavioural red flags to watch out for - and they're ones that can easily go missed.
A Sudden Shift in Screen Habits
Keep an eye on how your child uses their devices.
You might notice them suddenly spending way more time online, or even avoiding it altogether.
It's a bit like a digital mood swing, as experts at Parent Club point out.
Also, watch out if they get a bit shifty when you're around - quickly flipping their phone over or closing tabs when you walk in.
That secrecy can be a real tell-tale sign.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
Online dangers can really mess with a child's feelings.
They might seem upset, worried, sad, or just generally withdrawn after being online.
Jarmila Tomkova, an expert on online harms, highlights that if your child seems hesitant to talk about their online world, or looks anxious after chatting with someone, it could be a big clue they're being manipulated.
She explains on the ESET blog that "the toxicity of the malicious relationship made them feel as if they´d done something wrong, hence not wanting to share their inner world."
You might also spot mood swings, or they could start having trouble sleeping or with their mental health.
Jarmila adds that "the child may start acting aloof, withdraws themselves from society, and gets into more conflicts."
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Unexpected Gifts? Pay Attention!
If your child suddenly has new things, whether it's a physical present or even virtual stuff like extra lives or points in a game, and you're not sure where it came from, Jarmila says it's a "big red flag" that you absolutely shouldn't ignore.
These can be a groomer's way of building trust.
The Secret World of Online Chats
Communication patterns can also be a huge clue.
Groomers often push kids to use messaging apps like WhatsApp and Snapchat because they're trickier for parents to keep an eye on, as NSPCC Learning points out.
You might notice your child becoming super secretive about their online time, or avoiding video or phone calls with their "online friends" - which could mean that "friend" isn't who they say they are.
They might even start demanding secrecy, with the online person telling them to keep conversations "private" or "their little secret".
The groomer often tries to cut kids off from their real-life friends and family, leading to feelings of isolation.
And a really worrying sign is if your child starts using sexual language you wouldn't expect them to know.
As the Metropolitan Police noted in 2022, "Signs of grooming can easily be mistaken for 'typical' teenage behaviour, but you may notice unexplained changes in behaviour or personality or inappropriate behaviour for their age."
Urge for 'Change'
One big red flag, according to Action Counters Terrorism (ACT), is if your child suddenly starts thinking 'a change needs to happen.'
They might develop an intense, even angry, desire for 'something to be done' about perceived injustices, perhaps reacting strongly to acts of extremism or terrorism.
ACT explains that radicalisers are clever; they "exploit these feelings and offer an 'answer' to the problem or issue the person is angry or upset about."
They might even convince your child that joining extremist groups and taking "violent action" is the only way to find a solution.
Digital Footprints
When it comes to extremism, pay attention to their online activity.
ACT urges us to watch out if they're liking, sharing, or re-tweeting posts from extremist groups or individuals.
Children might become secretive about who they're talking to online and what websites they're visiting, or spend loads of time researching extremist ideas.
Another red flag is if they have more than one online identity.
And, as Kids Health suggests, notice if they quickly switch screens when you come near their device - that's often a sign they're hiding something.
Lost Interests
Beyond the screen, look at their social life.
ACT also advises noting if they start distancing themselves from old friends or changing their social circle entirely.
You might find they're no longer enjoying activities they used to love, or they become much more emotional, angry, or resentful.
A strong new sense of identity or belonging tied to a new group or ideology is also a big warning sign.
And keep an eye out for new electronic devices or phones that you didn't provide - that can be a way for them to communicate secretly.
What Can You Do?
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The NSPCC stresses that "talking regularly with your child can help keep them safe online."
Make it a normal part of your day, like asking about school, so they feel relaxed and more likely to come to you with worries.
Dr. Elly Hanson, a clinical psychologist, advises us to be "genuinely curious" about their online world, not dismissive, so they feel comfortable sharing.
And crucially, let them know you won't be cross, even if they've stumbled into something "wrong" - fear of punishment often keeps kids silent.
Setting Smart Boundaries
While talking is key, setting clear boundaries is also super important.
Use those parental controls on devices and apps to filter out inappropriate stuff, but always explain why these rules are in place.
The Digital Parenting Coach suggests setting "clear and consistent screen time boundaries" and having "device-free time and zones" - like no phones at dinner or in bedrooms.
Even better, create a "family media agreement" together, so everyone's on the same page and feels involved.
Monitoring with Trust
Keeping an eye on things is vital, but it's about balance.
You can't protect them from what you don't know is happening, as Child Rescue Coalition points out.
However, avoid "micromanaging" every single text or post, as this can actually make kids more secretive.
Instead, talk openly about why you're monitoring and what you're looking for, building trust rather than suspicion.
Keeping devices in shared family areas helps with natural supervision and encourages open chat.