‘We snorted cocaine while our kids camped in the garden': The rise of drug-taking middle-class mums

Telegraph

04-04-2025

Two recent stories have caused shock at the school gates. First, Hayley Berry – a mother addicted to cocaine who was so 'out of it', passers-by had to take her car keys and walk her children to school – was handed an eight-week jail sentence in 'one of the worst examples of drug-driving' the magistrate said he'd ever seen.
Then there was the case of Amanda Mealing, the Casualty star who was banned from driving for 22 months after her vehicle collided with an oncoming car, seriously injuring the driver – a nurse and district councillor – last January. She, too, was high on cocaine at the time.
These cases are particularly shocking because the last group that people expect to abuse cocaine is middle-class mums. Yet, until 11 months ago, I was in that unexpected cohort.
I had taken the odd bump in my late teens but never considered myself an addict. Then, when I moved to London in my 20s to work as a make-up artist, a line often followed a glass of wine on Fridays, and the work-hard, play-hard environment I was in seemed to suit. Still, it seemed like the sort of thing I could just dip in and out of – everyone around me was doing it and it didn't control my life.
When I met my now ex-husband and we moved to the countryside, near Bristol, I thought my life would change completely. I became pregnant and assumed that motherhood would be a different chapter in my life; that those old habits I had become keen to break would fall away. However, within a few years, I was searching for escapism again.
I became a stay-at-home mum and my husband began working away a lot. Having a drink while my son was asleep on a Friday night was exciting; it became the mark of the weekend beginning and offered a much-needed feeling of freedom. But, while it would always start out with a drink, it soon led to something stronger. In hindsight, I think I was probably suffering from postnatal depression, and drugs filled the void within me, distracting me from my unhappiness.
'We'd take a couple of grams in the kitchen, then spend the rest of the night drinking wine'
We had another child, and things stayed the same for the next few years. I was taking coke the odd weekend here or there, when I really craved a release, and my husband did it too. We'd take a couple of grams in the kitchen (it was never hard to get hold of), and then spend the rest of the night drinking wine.
But when lockdown came, things began snowballing. We lived in a beautiful big house and, with the kids being homeschooled and nothing to do the rest of the time, we were desperate to get out of the monotony of Zoom lessons and living-room PE.
Once the kids were in bed on a Friday night, that was my green light to indulge. Sometimes I'd stay up for 24 or 48 hours on the trot, or sleep away the entire weekend while someone else dealt with the children and took them to their activities. I never drove while in that state, and tried to keep things from my kids, but my eldest, then 10, did once see me with white powder on my nose, and asked me what it was. I said it was nothing and resolved to be more careful next time.
I was far from the only one using cocaine among my mum friends though; some were indulging more than others during the week – before dinner or after stressful play dates. Whether providing a break from arguing over homework or the drudgery of pick-ups and drop-offs, the reason for us all was fairly uniform: craving the feeling of escape, like we didn't have to be mums anymore and could just forget about our lives.
When it comes to being a mother, you don't get a day off, and it can be relentless. In those moments, it really didn't feel as though we were doing anything wrong, especially when we all did it together. With a big house, we'd invite friends over for the weekend, having cocaine-fuelled parties indoors while all of the kids camped overnight in the garden.
When you're a parent, doing the things you enjoy or going out when you need time to yourself becomes more difficult. Like many mums, I was in the countryside and had aged out of the ways I previously got my highs; I had few friends nearby and needed a way to distract myself from the boredom.
'Suddenly I was a single mum in charge of two children; the break-up forced me to go to rehab'
Cocaine-misuse deaths reached a record high in England and Wales last year, and that's scary. It took me until 2024 – the year that my marriage of 17 years ended – to finally kick my cocaine habit for good.
My husband realised that his own reliance on alcohol was spiralling and went to rehab. While there, he called to say our relationship was over. I was shocked: I was suddenly a single mum dealing with the end of my marriage. I remember thinking, 'I'm in charge of two children; I don't want to live this life for a second longer.'
The break-up forced me to go to rehab for four months (I didn't tell the children where I was going at the time) and really confront my issues. I see now that taking drugs is ultimately about not wanting to feel anything and running from your emotions.
In my case, that included not liking myself very much and developing co-dependencies to people or substances. It's a dangerous place to find yourself in, and you have to work through your emotions (even the difficult ones) and not view them as something to hide or numb yourself from.
When I returned from rehab, the first three months were difficult. I'd still have that Friday feeling, but I couldn't do anything about it. Now, instead of reaching for a glass of wine and then drugs, I attend Cocaine Addicts Anonymous meetings on Friday nights and follow the 12 Steps of recovery.
'I worry about the kids, given both their parents have struggled with substance abuse'
I'm so much happier now that I've replaced addiction with connection, and have put more focus on my relationships rather than with substances. Instead of inviting mum friends round to do coke on a Friday night, I go for morning walks or coffee with others who are of a similar mindset.
I've also given up alcohol completely, as it was always just a gateway for me. My old friends are proud of me for getting sober but, without drugs, the dynamic of our relationship has changed, and it's easier for me to be around those who are also in recovery. I don't see myself using drugs ever again.
Since I came back from rehab, I've also had really frank conversations with my kids about addiction and drug use, and how dangerous it can be. I do worry about them, given that both of their parents have struggled with substance abuse. But I can only hope that, in being open about my past, they'll come to me if they do feel tempted to use in the future.