Reader suggests fishy solution to the Channel's small boat problem
To better tackle illegal immigration, the UK could introduce a smart incentive system that links EU countries' access to UK fishing waters with their cooperation in reducing migrant crossings.
Instead of relying solely on border patrols or controversial Rwanda-style deportation plans, this approach encourages EU partners, such as France and Belgium, to actively help prevent illegal Channel crossings in exchange for increased fishing rights and reduced port fees.
A performance-based model, assessed over a four-year period, would reward countries that show real progress with better access and benefits.
This policy offers a practical, legal and cooperative alternative that uses diplomacy and economic incentives to improve results – moving beyond reactive enforcement to proactive partnership. Chris, London
Fi O'Connor (MetroTalk, Wed) says Brexiteers bear some responsibility for the small boat crisis because we can no longer call upon the so-called Dublin Convention – which allows countries to request fellow EU member states manage asylum requests. Having left the EU, we cannot use it.
This is oft-cited but had negligible effect in the return of migrants to the EU.
For example, as per House of Commons Library records, in 2018 there were 37,453 asylum applications and 5,510 outgoing transfer requests, of which only 209 were accepted. The regulation worked both ways, resulting in 1,215 migrants entering the UK under the regulation in the same year. Jonathan Bagley, Todmorden
The UK is investing £15billion in its nuclear weapons programme (Metro, Tue).
How is buying nuclear weapons preparing for war? Neither Gaza, Ukraine, Israel nor Russia have used them.
What we need is for our children and men to look at our cities and see something worth living for, worth fighting for. They need to see a future they can believe in instead of seeing filth and neglect everywhere and adults berating each other all the time.
All our cities and towns need a good clean up. Give us a country we can love and a government we can believe in.
Otherwise, Sir Keir Starmer's war will be trying to stop rioting. Young men who have no respect for authority will not be manageable. Michelle, York
A US investment firm has pulled out of a £5billion rescue deal for Thames Water (Metro, May 29). Thank goodness.
At least it means that another 'British' company won't fall into foreign hands.
Now regulator Ofwat needs to prevent Thames Water from paying any dividends etc to investors until its £20billion debt has been paid. After all, while investors are there hoping to make a profit dividends aren't guaranteed.
That is the risk that they take – some you lose, some you win. Rob, York
Marc (MetroTalk, Mon) asks how Clark's idea of a £300 cat licence could be administered. Controlling cats has been tried before.
In 1233, Pope Gregory IX, who had a 'thing' about witches, issued a papal bull – an official decree – which linked cats to Satan.
This is thought to have led to a huge number of cats being killed across Europe.
As a result, the rat population boomed unchecked.
The story goes that, a century later, around 1388, rats arriving on ships from the Middle East carrying fleas infected with bubonic plague, were able to pass them on unopposed to European rats.
The result of all this? The Black Death.
So, politicians beware!
As an aside, there's a theory this was the basis for the poem The Pied Piper Of Hamelin. Peter, Wolverhampton
As much as anything, this misplaced cat licence idea raises the issue of matching cats with their 'owners' (ie, their staff).
A personal example – since last September, I have been getting visits from a long-haired tuxedo I call Mr Fluff, who is always welcome, despite the odd incident of nearly knocking books etc onto the floor.
I have a friend whose cat visitor is called Milo, although we sometimes refer to them as The Eastney Terror.
I have since discovered on YouTube that many folk have a MHNMC (My House, Not My Cat) or in my case, MFNMC (My Flat, Not My Cat).
I have no idea where my MFNMC actually comes from, what his actual name is or, for that matter, whether 'he' might even be a 'she'.
Clearly this licence proposal is going to be a loser and one can only hope that in due course Clark will have a furry visitor and so quietly bin the idea. Robert Smith, Southsea
Clark was probably a mouse in a former life and this is why he has cat issues. Amanda, South Yorkshire
May I add to the short odes to bus routes submitted here of late? More Trending
The 700 on the coast / Could be the bus I love the most / You wait an hour, just like a dunce / Then three of them come all at once / They've managed to improve a little / And split the route up in the middle / So Stagecoach lives up to its name / And life will never be the same. Nicholas B Taylor, Hove
Another doctor joke for you. I asked my doctor what was wrong with me.
He said that it could be pneumo-bacterisilimicroscopioniasis, but it was hard to say. Jeff, Nuneaton
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I suspect that most residents, while bemused by the arrival of incident tents and secret service agents, are not particularly bothered either way. The reasons for Vance's coming here are fairly obvious. This Oxfordshire patch of the Cotswolds isn't just a nice place, but appears the very essence of the picture-postcard 'Olde England' that appeals to so many Americans and other visitors from around the world. A stone's throw away, Soho Farmhouse offers a kind of VR headset rural experience for city escapees. They flog a kind of Potemkin countryside for those who rarely socialise outside of London's Zone 1 or midtown Manhattan. The rest of Vance's trip has been a similarly deep dive into a fantasy Britain. From the Palladian splendour of Chevening (which David Lammy confusingly referred to as his own home) to a private tour of Hampton Court and to golf and whisky in the Scottish lowlands, Mr Vance is playing historic Britain's greatest hits. No one can blame him for this: these sites are impressive and beautiful. Yet the government – so eager to impress the American regime despite its sabre-rattling at Canada, its ill-treatment of President Zelensky etc – might consider broadening its scope. Rather than confining Mr Vance's trip to Ye Olde England, it seems only fair that they should take him on a more accurate tour of the 'Yookay' in 2025. Where could they start? Well, first and foremost, they'll need to sort accommodation. I'm afraid that after a week in the manor house at Dean, the accommodation at the Britannia migrant hotel might seem like a downgrade but Mr Vance can rest assured that the British taxpayer will pick up every single penny of the bill. And I'm reliably informed that within an hour or two of their arrival, guests can hop out again on a moped for an illegal food-delivery run. 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It feels appropriate that Mr Vance should engage with some of the activities that make up day-to-day life in the Yookay. He might witness dozens of shoplifters cheerfully strolling off with large quantities of merch while impotent staff do nothing. Perhaps he could spend six hours on hold with a GP surgery merely to find that every slot has been given to a council-paid interpreter? Or maybe he could go to a public park in one of our more vibrant areas to watch the theft, slaughter and cooking of some urban wildfowl? To be honest, whatever entertainment is planned for Mr Vance in this second week of seeing real Britain is moot, as presumably he'll be leaving the Cotswolds on the same railway line that his secret service goons took from Paddington – a station which saw 'significant delays' to journeys on 363 days last year. With the state of Britain as it is, no one could begrudge Mr Vance his trip into fairyland. What's reprehensible is that the very people who have done their best to undermine the beauty and traditions of the countryside are now only too willing to hawk them for political ends.
